I am unable to forgive you, yet I pretend it is ok
I'm unable to make believe, I know what to say
My first sperm donor had no plan nor consent
His rape and other criminal acts were vile crimes
My next father had good wishes but was crippled
He grew up from 6 years old without his father
My life needed one to lead me, but also love me
Instead of yell and blame me everyday, in shame
He let others do even more, never seeing it as sin
I was his child but he punished me for all his wounds
Assumed an intent somehow wrong for difference
I was punished for what others did, he was unkind
I know he meant differently and would be in time
Only the arrival of uncles and cousins saved me
Only marriage to a woman so kind and so bright
Didn't get to have a father I needed, others as well
I'm going to try much harder, I want to miss you
I loved you, as much as a child unloved can do
