In Love and Sleep

Hylas was a poet

A warrior, and friend

A companion of Heracles

Became tired, exhausted even

From the epic journey

Still without end

Laying upon the river bank

He heard the water rush

And soon fell asleep

And there he dreamed

Of the world called 

The land of the Faer

Filled with beauty

And longing

And magic

He woke with a start

To see a nereid watching

From water's edge

As he slept

He couldn't decide

If he was awake or still dreaming

So he gently welcomed 

Her attentions

And drifted

Back to dream

Of where he was

In sleep

Thread

Some who don't believe

Suggest I should try to die

Because I believe in eternity

Some who do believe

Say there should not be suicide

Because it violates God's creed

I say that my life is my fate

My journey comes from inside

And my path isn't for debate

I do believe

And have tried 

To live in a way to please my God

I hang on here by a thread

Because of those who I love

But I'm ready for the Isle of the Dead

The thread weaves through my life

My son and my wife

And all of my family and friends

Damn him

As if it needs to be hidden
So surreptitious
They say that he can make you do it
Cupid makes people fall in love
By shooting their hearts with arrows
Love is so capricious?
I say if anyone sees him doing it
Grab him before he flies away
And shove those arrows
Where his butt cheeks narrow

I am Broken, Again

Broken again
Your arms reach out
And my fear is tamed
I can't help but hope
When I hear your voice
Calling me
To be embraced
In your arms
Soothed until
My tears fade
There is only you for me
Nothing else helps me through
This existence tears
Me apart at the seams
Your love frees me
Mends my heart
Reminds me of heaven
Let me soar in the sky
Where I touch the stars
With you
Your hand in mine
Soft but holding
Me from falling
Apart
Again
Like always
Falling
But caught
In your arms
Softly
Softly

Farewell

Her beauty moved men

But she was more than beautiful

Bright and thoughtful

Was filled with questions

Lived to know the answers

She was wounded by life

But still tried

When is a life perfect?

When can we know it is good

Cathy sleeps in Elysium

I miss her now and forever

But she can now find all the answers

And is no longer misunderstood

Farewell beautiful spirit

Broken for the pleasure of others

Farewell my friend

Farewell

You live anew

While my sorrow smothers

The Far Edge of Existence

I walked all the way

To the far edge of existence

I didn't find you waiting there

Like a kid for Christmas

What there was

What there should have been

Two different things

But I got neither

For my persistence

All I found

Was wanting

Needing

And no relent

To the torment

Of being without you 

Not even for a fucking moment

I  miss you

Your scent

Your sound

Your presence

And I am left alone

Forever in your absence

And still searching

Finding no 

Contentment

Grieving the Innocence Lost

I believe that
We are courting doom
Not by ignorance
But apathy
And the lack
Of humanity

Someday soon
We will be able to clone
And selectively breed
So humans can live longer

That is
Except for those
Harvested for parts
Killed in utero
For the convenience
Those bred to die
The future world
Will be even more cold
As we become meat
And wars are no longer fought
For virtues and ideals
But for gold
Wrought from greed
And the human transformation
Into machine
















Henry Adams 
Photo Credit:
 Foter.com / Public Domain Mark 1.0

Toxic Life

I did endure
Called from the darkness
Survived toxic waste
Avoiding cultural pollution
Having seen life I know
Truth is not the solution
Death is not an answer
However
My life has been apportioned
And I accept my punishment
Execution by your hand
Awaits
Have I survived
My adult abortion
No matter how I am judged
My continued existence
Reveals only resistance
To the notion
That others control my life
Your decision
Negates my position
Within the boundaries
Of your womb
It became my tomb
A pool of blood
In which I drown
Flushed down
With all the waste
Rejected for the flaw
Of being unforgiven
For being called
Unwanted
Out the darkness I crawled
Despair
As life retaliates
Against my life
Unworthy of living
Conduis-moi comme
Un agneau à l'abattoir
Je chagrin ma chair

Goodbye Good Friend

Good friend
I could see it in your eyes
You looked so tired
Then I never saw you again
Until you were gone forever
Dressed to be buried
Your frozen frame displayed for all
In a pine box with soft velvet
Inside
People walking by crying
You laying there
Not sleeping
Your spirit flown
Walking away
No more pain
Winter always follows Fall
Seasons pass by
I can't say
I wish you were still here
You are now
On the other side
That has to be better
Than this place
Where all dreams go to die
If you are listening
I love you
I miss you
Goodbye

Abyssus Abyssum Invocat

Abyssus abyssum invocat

From our place 

Upon the face

Of this earth

We have only to view

All of nature's beauty

To see

We are not cursed

But blessed

By the depth

Of eternity

Where the deep

Calls unto the deep

We are created

To create

To enter

Eternity

Together

We are alive

To give love

And to give

And forgive

One another

Forever

Wounds Unseen

Wounds of my being
From love unrequited
From life
Unlived
Within a world with hurt
Unrelenting
Leaves scars
Scars that are hidden
While I remain bleeding

My scars are still there

I see them in reflection
While others do not
I see them all
My wounds are unseen
I know what life does
What love does
What we do not have

We know that our hearts
Will be broken
Before the final fall
Our soul bears the pain
Of the sacrifice
We are made new only by offerings
Of tears and wholeness
For our broken spirit

Remains with memory of the pain
Remains with the scars of the day
We confessed our love
We opened our hearts
To one who could break us
Or
Give our love justice
By returning it
And that turns the cost
Into nothing

The Sea, The Devastation

So horrible
None could believe
It had happened
It was reality
Despite the surreal power
The event with
Stunning results
We remember
Forever
We remember so that the future
Does not forget
The tales that the elder races still tell
A catastrophe
So powerful
To be the death knell
Of a civilization
Bells rung in honor of their loss
In every port
Showing simply
Their respect
They struck the bells
In solemn memory
For the sorrow
A distant continent
Fell from view
During a shattering quake
With enormous swells
The waves grew
Wounding the earth
Where the sea reached up
And swallowed down
The near west of the land
Near the gates of Hell
A castle upon the coast
Crushed
Killing the people
Fear was rampant
Terror the common woe
Destroyed citadels
Left behind
They moved inland
The ocean reached forward
And swallowed
Whole
And the bones of the buildings
Speak only of the toll
Of the final days
Of the place

The Úlfhéðnar of the Rus

For his pleasure we were called

To be the children of Odin

We are his warriors

And have moved

Across oceans

Over deserts

Through forests

To reach the destination

The ground trembles

As we arrive before

The enemy’s fortress

berserkir

berserkir

Are we prepared to die

If the Grey god calls

We must be ready

We are primed for battle

The war horns call out

Making my blood boil

My breathing rhythmic

My pulse rising

My rage grows deep

Inside me churns

About to escape

The beast within me

Responds

berserkir

berserkir

My muscles contract

My countenance focused

I abandon my shield

In each hand I hold an axe

I enter battle

And become

A crimson wave of death

Soon I am covered

My hands become sticky

Slimy with the blood

Of the enemy

The Valkyries

Will soon be busy

berserkir

berserkir

The field smothered

With broken bodies

The grass becomes greasy

From the enemy’s blood

The fields will someday bloom

My body is wet

Red from the viscera

Covering me

Valhalla is watching

This battle is proof

I’ve harvested already

So many men

The realm of Hel

Will be pleased

For I’ve sent men

To the land of the dead

berserkir

berserkir

In the future

Upon this site

Young lovers will walk

Here and there they might find

A trinket or bone

From the warriors fallen

The enemy dead left behind

berserkir

berserkir

To my king, I am his weapon

To the enemy, their doom

A disaster I am

Every blow will land

They pile up before me

All of them dead

The enemy was driven

From the field

Like dust before a broom

None escape

None stand alive

And all I see is red

berserkir

berserkir

I'd Rather Dance and Sing

I have slept during the scholar's teaching

Have imagined Elysium in the company of saints

Drifted off in thought

I have dreamed of a world without pain

While the world burned

Again

I slept rather than learn
Because I am content

The world calls my name

It is too serious

I am too tired
The world is busy

 Making gadgets and gizmos
 Fighting many wars
They tell me to be ashamed
But
I believe in peace
I believe in simplicity
And care nothing for fame

Not Again

You tell me not to cry
You say it every day
Tears of pain go away
But the scars remain
Upon my body
Or my soul
Your strict hand
Teaching obedience
Cannot understand
What you did to me
Nor I your desire to control
All I am
If you loved me
You would not do
What you do to me
You don't give a damn
You don't care at all
And my life
Is still in shambles
And my heart
Is still on fire
From the humiliation
From the domination
So I cry
And the tears go away
But they'll be back
When the day is done
I might lose
But you haven't won
I might die
But you'll never control
All I am
Ever again
Don't look away
I'm unashamed
Of my voice
Of my fist
Raised

What is left after the pyre

I ask why, why try
To change the world?
When time passes
And I stand still?
Everything that lives
Will some day die
Everything in me
That is good
Will flee with my ashes
Light the fire
Cast my ashes upon the wind
Rise to the sky
Place my body upon a pyre
Choose the truth, not the lie
Face the reality
That we are impermanent
Our flesh will not transcend
The moment
Only your soul
Will fly
From this place

SORROW OF THE CTHULHU SPAWN

ORDER HERE 

Thanks to JM Hunter and Evette Langford for their format and design help.

A collection of journal entries, prose, and verse, in the world where Cthulhu is a God.

Words by Alex Ness
Art by Caspar David Friedrich

Great Theseus

Theseus, child of the earth
Also born of the Gods
Possessed of a birthright
A royal charge

One day he'd be king
Son of two fathers
Raised in secret
By his mother

He grew up loved and brave
A child of destiny
While his peers
Hungered solely for power

Theseus was different
A DemiGod
Young but wise
Courageous yet insightful

Theseus was nonetheless willing
To give his life for his people
After Athens had angered 
The King of Crete, Minos

He, who long harbored a grudge
Asked for a ritual sacrifice
The youth of Athens
Would die in fear

Prey within the labyrinth
The Minotaur would hunt them
Would track them
Slay them

He hungered to feast
Upon the innocent
The slaughter of Athenian youth
Would feed his belly

Despite his lineage Theseus would face
The possibility of a cruel death
By taking the place of one
Meant for the sacrifice

He was given spool of thread
By the daughter of the Cretean king
Who had fallen in love
And didn't want Theseus dead

With stealth he made his way through the maze
Theseus was ready
Found, then attacked the minotaur
And struggled until only one lived

Theseus rose from the ground
Having killed his foe
And the aura of fate
Embraced him

He was a hero
A Demigod
A man
And king

Farewell Dominic Postiglione

Dominic Postiglione was one of my first and most steadfast supporters of my work.  He passed away today.  And he will be missed, deeply.  Farewell friend, I offer a Viking funeral for your courageous heart.

Just a Walk in the Forest

They say that the
Ghosts of the hopeless
Live there
Within the glory
Of the woven green
A mystical fantastic
Life spun forest
God's hand is evident
In the complex creation
Where plants and animals
Dwell
So beautiful and perfectly silent
The ghosts scream without sound
For this is holy ground
Never to be disturbed
By the hope of man
The dead live there
Taken there
By their own hands

The Suicide Forest

Photo Credit

A Problem with Numbers

(Media Credit)

Like a clock

Or a watch

Or sundial

I endure

I move on
I run

I am alive

When others leave

I can't see

Why 

I should

Move on

Knowing you ran away

I live

But don't know

Why

I bothered

I am all I ever will be

I am who I want to be

But you

Don't like what I am

Or who I might become

So that is a problem

A problem without an answer

tick

tick ticking

Clock goes on

Spinning around the numbers

Faster and faster

I know 

I can't last

Our Own Crucifixions

We often prefer the lie

But not for the ease of belief

Rather

We need hard realities

Broken down

The stories we are told

Rarely are true

But they are portions

That are more real

Than truth

Small little fictions

To remind us

Of the reality we understand

We forget

Our own crucifixions

We forget

How life takes our joy

Snatches it away

With nails through our hands
And our very own

Crown of thorns

That we pull down

Upon our skull

We sorrow 

But we linger

In the echoes

Of the pain

Of the moment

Even

When that is

Torment

Hope Is a Liar

From here

I don't have to be

Anyone but me

In my home

I never leave

Like a movie CD

Stuck in place

Playing the same scene

Misery over and over

Forever took too long to end

Legacies entwined

I wish to be alone

Leave me my friend

I wish to die

Alone

I can sit in this room

Without your company

Without your presence

To give me hope

I prefer living without

Hope is for those 

Who will lose

Everything

My life is my own

To give or take back

From others

Nothing needing to be atoned

Because I never understood

Buffered and not in colour

Thoughts of despair

That only exist

Because you insist

That you care

But you do not

So I resist

Your love isn't fair

And never will be

Destroyer

Approaching midnight

The last train leaves the station

For the terminal

I am desolation without solace

I have sought your way

My body is frail

Without you I fail

I fall to the ground in a heap

Alone staring, at the track

I walked the path

Of the righteous

Without righteousness

Without fulfillment

Without the joy

Enduring only wrath

By my own hand

I am the destroyer

I am the one

Who murders memory

I will destroy all evidence

Of my existence

Leaving only a legacy

Of pain and sorrow

I wait, without hope

For you to return

From terminus

Eternus

Eternus

Raw pain empties

Into nothingness

Ghosts in my mind

Of past days fleeting

I have only one hope

For justice

And it is you

Redeeming me

Soul Afire

In all my wretched existence 
I never saw anyone like her
She was a dream in real time
Perfect and exquisite
A poem in body form
An image I could not extinguish
She filled my mind with
A fire inside my soul
Burning with her name
Across my heart
So intricately woven
I am without shame
She is elegant beyond words
Moving so quickly
Through my thoughts
I can never relinquish
Her memory from my being
So delicate this soul afire
Consumed by passions
While I linger
In the moment
She took my heart

No Anchor

Like a ship in a whirpool
Having no anchor
A mystery I have found
I beg for the answer
What is the point of existence
Without some holy ground
I am alone with my thoughts
While the world pulses
Pulls me down
Sinking beneath the waves
Reaching up to be saved
My flesh watches me drown
And I am alone
Without my cloak of flesh
Possessing only hope
For redemption
Healing
Come take me
Home

Crushed heart, lost breath

Taking a deep breath
Holding it in
The pain holds me
Tighter than a vice
This life
Crushes me
Makes me hate myself
Which isn't fair
But what the hell
Everything I do
Everything I say
Rings a bell
And I am thrown
From the ring
The curtain falls
And I am escorted
Off the stage
Again
But I keep trying
Keep crying
Dreams are shattered
Hopes scattered
Unto the wind
For I love
So I lose
For I feel
So I shriek in pain
Again
But I will go on
Because the only thing worse
Than failing
Is quitting
My grieving will never end
So the bleeding
Pours from me
Screaming

Complete Control

My eyes are red
My neck is stiff
My body has not received rest
But I am alone
Alert, and confused
Dare I speak it
Dare I confess
In the midst of the darkness
The entire of the sleep is lost
When she visits my mind
Whilst I dream
I toss over and again
And wake
A mess
She was never my lover
She was never close
To my heart
But she dances upon my chest
I sleep in portions
Restlessly
If ever, or at all
Dreaming of her there
Crushing my mind
Sucking out my soul
Making me fear
To ever sleep
Again
For she
Is in
Complete control