God Knows

Some see me and run
Others think and say
I am a nonesuch
Shaking inside
Having no worth
I fight my enemies
All of my failings
And the failures
My life hasn't been easy
Despite the whispers of my critics
I spend more time in prayer
Begging for forgiveness
I don't pray to God
For him to grant my wishes
I will never be healed
My flesh is broken, suffering necrosis
My brain is broken, suffering crisis
I believe in God
Does God believe in me
Only God knows
He is the final judge
I walk in memory's shadows
And have nothing awaiting
But death
Until I walk in the light
After I draw my final breath
So I hope
I have faith
But I also have fear
That I do not believe
Enough