God Knows

Some see me and run
Others think and say
I am a nonesuch
Shaking inside
Having no worth
I fight my enemies
All of my failings
And the failures
My life hasn't been easy
Despite the whispers of my critics
I spend more time in prayer
Begging for forgiveness
I don't pray to God
For him to grant my wishes
I will never be healed
My flesh is broken, suffering necrosis
My brain is broken, suffering crisis
I believe in God
Does God believe in me
Only God knows
He is the final judge
I walk in memory's shadows
And have nothing awaiting
But death
Until I walk in the light
After I draw my final breath
So I hope
I have faith
But I also have fear
That I do not believe
Enough

I Long For You, Again and Again

Your beauty leaves me amazed

And I keep wondering

Are you still mine

Because I am weak

I need to know you remain

Whether night or in the day

I long to be where you are

I long to hear you call my name

I want to see your face

I want to be near you again

I need to know you are here

I need to breathe the air

That you have breathed

I need to hear your voice

I need to know you still reign

Over my heart

Over my soul

You are my only love

You are the only one

In my eyes

You are my queen

And I bow before you

Giving you all I am

And everything that I have

So that I might be yours

I long for you

Again and again

Father and Son, Together

Valued for his mind
He was a prisoner
In a gilded cage
Daedalus needed to escape
Being bruised by the tyranny
He theorized then
That with only wings
Would they lift from the island
Aloft would they fly
In the depths of a night
Without day
Accused by the tyrant
That they now betrayed
Should they be caught
Caged lifes
Forever
Instead
Two tamed hearts
Each other's ideal
A relationship marked
By such gentleness
A father's delight
Hope without shame
Two lives in legends hallowed
Fly with me father Daedalus
You are my joy son Icarus
Let us forever rise
Find our lives
But father in Hades I wait
Walking now with the shadows

Life Blood Splattered, My Dreams Scattered

Sweet Jesus what have I done
My madness is again begun
Spiraling deep into shame
I keep rethinking my shit
Slicing into flesh, to relieve my pain
Sprayed my life upon the concrete
Finished
Nowhere left to run
Only myself to blame
How complicit
I feed my disguise
Living my lies
Oh Jesus
There is nothing I can do
Please hold me
I am so cold
Soon
This life removed
So askew
Jesus take me with you
I have nowhere else to turn
The hurt
Oh God it burns
Please Jesus let me free
So I don't do
What I want to do