In Forever's Twilight

We spent summer in the sun, rain burst through the heat
Her eyes were green emeralds, his defeat then compleat
The moon would hang, just close enough to barely reach
Fireflies and faeries danced, on air and on a sandy beach
She pursed her lips, drawing him forward, into her lair
We watched as they worshiped for the queen most fair
Calling the name of the one, hiding in shadows sleep
As summer is replete with light, she'd chased him deep
In secrets shared replete with sustenance and our keep

A DAY WHEN AMERICA FELL FROM GRACE

Click both images, it will make them clearer and easier to read. I wrote my master's thesis in part about the subject.  If my final paper carries a couple typos I wish I had written it currently, rather than when I had no computer, (lost it due to fire) and more confidence in my words. But the information is such I do not feel it missing in areas of facts. The images are public domain images, and my words are not copyrighted other than to say these are my own words.
 

Future Hopes, If not in the Moment

God knows my thought, the desires that hounds me
The darkness as it hides from light, cold that drives
Words frozen, and lost, all of my destroyed dreams
I've nothing left, after the bitter freeze of a lifetime
Spring chased from my being, summer is not alive
In a dying land, a new ice age confounds belief
Supposed to be warming, this was meant to last
But these days in the sun have long since passed
I stare into a dying sun, my feet on holy ground
The end does beckon me to come forward, true
The end's not a promise of falling but to renew

Spilled wine

When every step goes uphill with thorns in my feet
As hills are embedded in broken glass, can't retreat
Walk upon red ribbons of blood, in shredded tissue 
With ink of a dead man's pen, misery in self accuse
Making a slam dunk case, against a sanity clause
Nothing my life has deserved last minute rescue
So, no I don't suspect anything will surprise me
That will save me from death's wretched claws
Saying, I spilled some wine, it can't be cleaned

Caged

To have hope, to be alive in an opportunity, to soar
Peace isn't given but if I've nothing left in my cage
They'll demand my flesh and poison my vary core
The human condition is madness in perpetual rage
In my weaponized hatred, I'm cut in a path of gore
Nothing exists to save me, a toxic pain is my wage
My body is broken by time, screams long ignored
If this is living, I might as well be forever in death
If my body rings in the echoes of all time, tolling
My anger, my prison door, and my hate, the lock
If I could be free I would rise, living instead  

The Question to Ask of the Future

Walk past all of the torment, difficulties and doubt
The amount of the effort that life requires to ascend
To change the course is more than a change in aim
The future life and world is one you've heard about
The present world's dystopia has grown over time
To destroy it is an act of choose, point, send
Do you want it? Or do you believe in now?
Are you willing to change your world
Does the world have your attention
Or will you walk endlessly until
Life passes from view

The emptiness

The mind can forget how it came to be awake
Losing hope, dream, life becomes an abscess
To enter into sleep after one ingests morphine
The mind finds itself with less ability to grow
Every existence offers more than emptiness
It falls upon the user to change, in the being
I'm a being addicted to my own self, witness
To destruction by my own hand, my reality
Entering the stream, knowledge isn't wisdom
Knowing may lay the path for future growth
If one does rise, they must create a system
Or the path decays in time, turning fallow

The Day of Love

People keep each memory about moments of fire
Joy or danger, great event or the ones that inspire
As some find love, the moment is rather mundane
They've always known love, new love is the same
To others it's a great event, announced with cheer
After lives of despair and pain, now hope is near
Some are emotional, others are so deeply logical
Love plays a different role in every life changed
Time is witness to a love, writing a full chronicle
Love is not earned, not a gift, but it is sustained
By best choices made and to become selfless

Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in 
looking outward together in the same direction. Antoine de Saint Exupéry

In Early Spring, Chaos of War

Upon an early spring morning, Caledonia woke to a surprise
Northmen clad in furs and chain, disembarking and striking
Frigid air, churning cold waters, the numbers moved inland
The battle line kept moving in favor of the invader vikings
The surprise attack meant the village was burning, damned
Black, powerful storm clouds hovered overhead, menacing
Hopes for peace were left wanting as villagers made a stand
An end in fear, it was with the questions left unresolved

The Caller and the Called

Choosers of the slain astride their mounts, over horizons
Riders upon a flow of winds while bouyed by constancy
Called to act by the whim of Odin, Valkyries serve him
Father god, master of words, giver of purpose, wise one
His will imparts honor and mind gives reason, ascension
On a field of battle they choose the honored of the slain
Carrying them to Asgard, for the celebrating in Valhalla
Having reason and purpose, joyously serving the Father

Existence: Slaughterhouse

From temperatures of fire to the deep freeze
Life on earth is a moment, a brief time to be
Time slays all old life and feeds it to the new
A perfect cycle, bleeding and joyful and true
We'll sleep in that place ready to see the light
This existence is not in our own hands or life
In time the madness fades but it isn't restored
We're forgotten, reach towards eternity's core
Arms raising, seeking a great promise given
Emptied we seek to become holy, forgiven

An End to Sorrow

Oh how long have we waited
As our cries are now lifted up
Hearts are ready for a harvest
Hearts have grieved, so long
The light in the sky arriving
From farthest horizons rising
We are, at last, found ready
No longer wanting, no more
The conflict is finally over
With nothing left to destroy
Our world has found peace
We've been at last redeemed

The Hunger

As ashes rise, pyres burn complete
Burnt embers fall, mind in retreat
Winds carry the remnant life away
As artifacts of time carry the day
Is it a truth, if it's still calling you
Animals, we're just a human zoo
Our time on earth, hearts thunder
Does humanity seek to be first
How will we know our place?
When will our times embrace
What are things we must do
All the things have the taste
All those who serve others
Must pay for the privilege
Ascent will be a testament 
Our words find a voice
As our words give birth
In the heart of the earth

“From my rotting body, flowers shall 
grow and I am in them, and that is 
eternity.”                 Edvard Munch

Upon an Altar

In this madness is there not also a peace?
If one stops listening, a path ahead shows
My mind's always turned on, I need sleep
Dreams float away, into the deeper water
With nothing left but in dreams between
Grieving lives I've never lived on altar
Life continues with our reasons for each
Wherever my spirit drifts upon the wind
As my dreams lay, allowing me ascent
Washed in my soul's glory and peace

The Empty Existence of Machinery

I'm coughing from my intake, the black ink is bitter
Stains I can't remove, are making me wonder why
Did I call for you, did I ask for anything greedily
Were my words painful to hear, did you reconsider
Because I've emptied my pockets trying to decide
Will I live, will I die, will I rust like the machinery
Left in ruination, in isolation, in all but my mind

Wages of Time

Devoured by a hunger, by the unmet needs and desires
Age is guaranteed to slay, our minds and spirit emptied
The life we live has a cost, as ashes of time are lit afire
Consumed, decay, faded to gray, wounds left unhealed
My body broken, my spirit tested, my soul upon a pyre
Flesh is fled, as time is bled, in wings and spirit attired
A door to existence is opened, eternity is now revealed

Too Late

Saying she was ready to flee, I watched a spectacle
Chose to threaten the only ones who actually cared
Her choice was to test patience and hearts of others
She constantly wanted more from the souls emptied
But because she was hurt, she thought she deserved
And perhaps she did but so had the ones threatened
Those remaining behind weren't filled with malice
Compassion exhausted from the constant demand
Used pills meant to heal, she died by her own hand
Would she find then the realms of peace or oblivion?

To Be More

Is duty something more that motivates us
More than a chained ball on your ankle
Are others meant to go on before me
Do I live for their own well being

To juxtapose their lives over my own
Do I live for a moment or for it all
Will the world find me of service
Or will it flee upon my call?

 I wonder how I have worth
I'm but remnant dust
No substance at all

Only in the moments
With no more hope
Or time or trust

The Enigma of Grace

Many things feel good but if they haven't any price
One can't buy them nor offer anything in exchange
What one pays is nothing, compared to the nothing
The hope one tries to buy, is meaningless, it entices
I've walked leather off shoes, a jacket fell to decay
The rains and days and days, as soft passive attacks
Time burns off eternity's clock, it is ticking, precise

“Scars have the strange power to
remind us that our past is real.”
                    Cormac McCarthy

Machines

We are the created, the anvil of life
Living in shadows, a light never seen
We are darkness, existing in an abstract
Never sharing your being's guiding light
Not in your hopes, never in our dreams
Your highest aspiration, the secrets kept
We were never partners, I was an aide
Reminding you we're not all machines
Otherwise we'll sit on a shelf, wrecked
Existence is neither promised nor free
I'm a friend, a servant, this I will be
The conveyor belt ever turns in time
But we're steel never meant to live
Created beings, perfectly designed
As we live to serve in gray twilight

The Damage, The Struggle, the Questions linger

On a wire, walking while shaking, trying not to fall
I didn't succeed and I've absolutely fallen to earth 
Winds carry my screams, carrying my pain as well
Laying where I'd had impact, after I heard the call
Shattered, bones and my ligaments beset by curse
No healing, only dreaming, as if one might sleep
Steals your will, forgets all reason, leads to Hell
Nothing I could do would have changed a thing
In any different life, would I have chosen to live
With burdens unshakable, or would I just dream
One life so much better than the one possessed
While I simply dream deeply until the passing
And then I'll live in the dream everlasting

In The Ice Storms

In ice storms one must learn patience and balance
Falling is a curse, a slippery slope of one's fate
Pain remains, my bones never heal, torment
Nature's queen laughs, as I scream in paralysis
The body can only take upon it the pain
My being is frozen as I sing a lament
Ice storms will kill yet act without malice
My dead body was to be cast into river
In floods, ice heavy, my descent
But the river flows, follows a path
The storm lingers with anger
Before pouring out wrath

Love

It was clear to any witness that these two loved the other
They couldn't help but finish the other's words or thoughts
The world lives in exact moments of love and its magic
He was looking for a queen to give everything, in truth
To defend her, to serve her needs, to be her one person
But she wanted an equal, she sought one who'd be there
And yet, when it was pointed out that they were so alike
As they looked at the other, they laughed, it wasn't love
Their own perceptions had yet to reveal their love song
Being in love allows healing, growth and inspiration
But it rarely lasts forever in utero, waiting to strike
And the unfulfilled souls cry to be joined

NEW SENSATION, NATURE SPEAKS

In a storm featuring snows in the Spring, or early enough Fall
As Summer passes and Autumn walks away, quiet turned loud
The precipitation pouring down is proof of the event, however
Lightning and thunder change the perception, from ordinary
The skies light up, as winds scream, there's a crushing sound
A thunder snow, is a miracle, a moment of wonder, spectacle
And it's one I'd love to experience again, standing my ground
Laughing at a juxtaposition, a divine wind, with ice and snow
Wondering out loud, asking if this is calling me to live in now
Or suggesting that I am, instead, mad, my only context is fear

Article featuring the Public domain image

It Burns

There are waves of smoke from the fires
As a plague slaughtered the ill and elders
The sickly smell as the dead face the pyre
The smoke was thick, smelling like death
By the end plagues killed more than wars
A truth of war, it will kill more than lives
In solemn memories of a better day, lost
As the weak are to be fed into machines
Devoured for not being able, as the cost
Existence is less a tale woven, artifacts
No way to escape and no way to survive
Life not keen to bargain, who's left alive
Everything will be lost in time

After the Comet

Events have no motive nor reason beyond just to be
The world screamed in horror, we'd soon cease to be
Flashing lights, impending impact, comets soon fall
Between beginning and end, darkness will soon call
A season, an Angel of Death reigned, blood legacy
A bitter escape, we found that way blocked and yet
Children we've never met learned our fate, our story

Not Going to Call you Back

She had called me to remind me
     That I had forgotten to call back
               My mistake was answering
She wasn't listening to me now
       My mind refused to be attacked
                 Try to tell me why I did not hang up
I listened to her scream, her tone was the answer
      I was patient, calm, she became more enraged
                     The world she'd imagined made her queen
Consider this my revolution
I refuse to surrender my dreams
Nor obey a tyrant
Who screams rather than dialogue
With someone who was not an equal
 

The Hunt

My journey covered the world as then known
Crossing rivers, oceans, forests and deserts
Chasing the one's path, who'd stolen a throne
With weapons hand held or thrown in combat
Covered in an armor of chain and full helmet
Chasing one who'd fled over dust and bones
Who used a land's features to aid the escape
Hiding overnight by a gloom of open tombs
In time I would find the thief and must him
In transit across the land of Eurasian climes
Dangerous land, filled with dangerous tribes
But if the thief could live, I must at last ride

A Knight's Only Quest

J'ai faim d'elle, brûle à l'intérieur
C'est une belle dame, je suis interdit
Mais avec le temps, mon amour, tu me voudras
Car je sais que Dieu ne mettrait pas cela dans mon cœur
Tout a un sens, et si j'étais destiné à échouer
Ma vie finirait, et je n'aurais aucun but
Si je ne t'avais pas trouvé au terme de mon voyage, 
tout aurait été vain, car tu es précieux à mes yeux

To all my friends from the beautiful province, in French I am slow and tortured
But it ennobles all to speak it I had to try this once, for one poem in that beauty

Farewell and Thank you

The world sometimes is new
But the life I had was a wound
I might've died without you
But you were just a cat
No one understood
In the middle of the abyss
You gave love freely
Without you, I'd sorrow
Overwhelmingly
Without truth
I'd no happiness left
Je te fais mes adieux
All my dreams retold
For with you I was blessed
And I will always be so
All because of you
Thank you, thank you
Farewell forever Mischa
You were a beautiful companion
And you blessed me in hope

My cat Mischa laid upon my chest after a serious drug interaction. Both prescribing doctors denied it, but it led to serious complications. Meanwhile I was sweating but frozen through, and my Mischa comforted me, when she too, was seriously ill. She passed less than a year later. I was fortunate to get through.

Dead Man, Rising

I watch as my flesh is removed, pieced out like a jigsaw puzzle
Feeling no pain, no shame, nothing matters inside of this place
Life's cage was meant to prevent freedom, pointless to struggle
I stare into a mirror, see a criminal, call it brother, we embrace
On awareness of imprisonment, I will smile as I am knowing
My flesh's dead, but my mind and spirit yet flourish, decoding
A future is uncertain, a past burns in sorrow, there's only now

THE CURSE

My flesh was consumed, now a being entombed
My curse of being mummified, no life to abide
The Princess, my heart's desire, Ankhesenamun
Years waiting, wrapped, enshrouded destiny's son
If I'm awakened, the curse will truly be revealed
I am the only one, my cost paid in being forsaken
In the empty black realm of mental trauma, I seethe
As years of timeless moments stirred all my fears
If I never escape, the light world endures, awake
The purpose of an eternal existence will be failure
Millennia lost in violations of the religious laws
I must love enough to overcome final damnation
But the wounds of my suffering all still linger
I have been lost to the madness of my mind 
About to be devoured by the greatest curse
To master existence, marked by time

The Dead Are Vigilant

Each wall marked with a spear, a polished skull at the tip
To tell every new enemy that there'd be no option of peace
Facing fears of a people who offered no quarter, many fled
Few didn't let fear inform any action, even beneath a whip
Leaders of a fortress unfallen in sieges, they knew caution
The enemies unconcerned with slaughter, one of the dead
Trust and will go together, defenders may stand forever
Every skull upon every spear tip was one from the city
For the cities own helped defend the fortress, in death

"It is better to deserve honors and not have them 
than to have them and not deserve them" Mark Twain

We Are Bulletproof together

Life collapsed beneath the weight, I was done
But for you, my being, my partner in all things
Together, we have lived in bulletproof ways
None can ever steal our joy, interrupt our love
Behind the veil of being, living with no blame
Together forever, we've a foundation, enough
My life was without value, exposed to flames
Until you came again, we'll live in dreams
We survived a flood, you made me to be brave
The world may go on, or not, but we are one
Never separated we should never be apart
We are one being, as one life-form
We will remain together joined
Joined at the beating heart

Too Late to Stop the Decay

The life I could have lived before I cared, lost those chances
Asleep at the wheel my life was gone in those circumstances
I lost my hearing, lost my voice, nothing left in the madness
I no longer bleed my blood, I bleed ink in my nothing status
Nothing left but bleeding, not enough blood to easily die

Choking upon Wrath

No matter my convictions, no matter my fear
The day burns as night follows with abandon
Dreams to come, vivid, frightened by the day
Spirit of somnambulist voice, is a companion
Sleep will reject all desire to control the path
Waking sans memory and come Armageddon
All calls to prayer turn to screams and wrath
Fire reduces a world to flame and sacred ash

Broken Bones

Breaking my bones on rocks, my flesh refuses a fight
As this bleeding streams down my eyes, pain insane
My life leaves me, bleeds me, the cost is never paid
Drive myself to the wrong future as all hope is gone
Never quit but I was slowed, freezing my last move
I turned from the inferno, moving to sacred ground
 Even if it takes me longer, I know the direction

Soul Mates Divided

Cast into nothingness, without moments or notice
Our lives broken and still, we created an opus
Life lasts only so long, with each diagnosis
We smile knowing we've done all we can
Knowing that our future isn't about now
If a fearful prognosis, ignore the ending
I will love you unto becoming vapor
As I disappear into time unrelenting
The present and past are no match
For life lived well and attached
We'll meet again, love again

An Innocence

The children hold flowers, freshly 
Smiling as they hold them gently
A fragrance reminds them of joy
One that the Elysian fields allow
A wholly innocent joy unequaled
But what do we experience in life
That steals pure, replacing as pain

Guilty

Finding a hope in the end of the world
Allows one to welcome that slaughter
Sorrows and pain weaves the tapestry
Depicting our struggle to an ever after
Sticking around in despair, no amnesty
Sinful, ugly, dark hearted man, flawed
I can only escape by the grace of God
Not going to quit, but with all my sins
I will never be acquitted, I am guilty

As The Asylum's Beast Approaches

Oh, the screaming never ends here even from bottom to the top
After a tornado is spotted, warning sirens blast to chills within
There's no beast greater than this one, black in pitch and sound
Its teeth are sharp and huge, jaws able to deliver a wicked bite
With wet fur, a foul odor, and it's a hideous denizen of a swamp
Chasing victims so long that those fleeing will fall in chagrin
This powerful tornado cannot be stopped and no hope's found
The sanitarium has no angels of mercy or staff to be the light
Wind shatters glass, it sprays death over the residents gathered
Thereafter a screaming begins to lessens in grave devastation
Families send us to die, not wanting updates, we don't matter
Who knows we might be dangerous, to each other, or them
Maybe we deserve to be destroyed by the hand of nature
Seeing that black mass, I understand, we're meant to die
Its the way we are meant to slaughtered, society's lost
No one needs us, we are the forgotten, the hated

So Much Left To Say

I didn't get to say it when you were alive
I didn't understand it until I was a father
My last moments of you are interwoven 
My son's first moments experiencing life
This, my beloved son was made possible
By your gifts and by your long sacrifice
The world is made possible with money
But I never made money nor understood
Why I was a failure to you until the end
At last you could forgive me, being me
I forgave you as not being like me too
My heart still misses you, time goes on
Finally I can smile, and know the truth

When Humanity Waves Goodbye, and assigns a caretaker for Earth

There will come a time, when all humans will surrender their role
Choosing to leave the planet, in the hands of Artificial Intelligence 
If the earth is tamed, will there yet be tsunami? Or our domination?
Will the earthquakes still linger, or will tornadoes no longer twist?
Will there still be the locust swarms, swallows flying in formation
Great migrations of animals controlled, with gorillas in the mist?
Will humans be given numbers instead of names, will they survive?
How will AI choose the winners, does it choose who lives or dies?
Do we even care, or abandon earth, like all the high minded ideals
In dreams we once had, shall we be brought to heel, or cast out?

Restored Life

I'd come back, after losing every life's breath
Nothing to sustain me, I'd nothing, even hope
Lazarus had nothing on me, I was ready to go
You were my blanket, warm and comforting
Alive again, I was able to come back to flesh
You gave me my security, inspiration, dreams
Broken, but counting the every chance to be 
In your love, lost but then you gave me hope, 
Exhausted, but with your love, I've now rest
Your love saved me, you gave me higher love
You were my hope, my life had never had that
I stand renewed, forgiven and given enough
All because you said yes, all because of you

“To save all we must risk all.”
           Friedrich von Schiller

Existence Cries Out

The mirror is emptied, no ghostly reflection
If in a moment, it exists free without sound
I scream silently, invisible, under dissection
Aware now that I've violated sacred ground
By heartbeat, by existing, despite my flaws
The world will go on in one way or another
My flesh goes on ever trapped in forever fall

"To become presence, means accepting the risk 
of absence.”  Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Myth or Hubris

Breaking only narrative, we persist
Dying to save the others, see them resist
What do we want, oh what do we hunger
For days pass, we're blinded and wonder
Do we get to ask the knowing in the end?
Or should we assume that we're nothing?
Every dream fulfilled but hallucinations
Is every life worth being made into myth
Hidden beneath shrouds, we are adrift
Until awakened, with a gentle kiss
Here we wait, standing until
We pass behind the mist

In the Remnant Life

We never understood our species, a mire of our killing ways
The sun seemed to fall from our sky, setting the world afire
Destroying our human civilization, our species barely alive
Yet, desire no longer drives us, we need to survive within
We were condemned to live upon a burnt planet's remains
No longer free of spirit, we were in bondage to pain, tired
Released and blinded by all the rust in our injured mind
Our species once obese in excess, now bones and skin
Little to wonder upon, no more joy to drive our species
In full despair, a planet covered by bones and artifacts
The memory of wars, of decay, of loss is our sole task
Waiting for death, on this planet death still lingers
We cannot escape, forever we are prisoners

Upon the Isle of the Blessed

Waking from my forever sleep, my eyes opened in dreams
I hadn't lost you and never felt loss from my endless bleed
The sun was golden and glowed, the wheat was full, ready
As winds were soft, the memory of your kiss led me to joy
The fields were alive in hope, creation had calls I'd follow
I lingered in your presence, my love was no longer hollow
To be there upon the hillside, never becoming tired, I laid
As the time came, as I was renewed, my soul given solace
My being was born to see this place, a morning awakened

In Public Life

I stood before the jury of my peers, to hear their words of judgment. All the
 liars chose to target my weakness, by forgetting their own. But they turned
to devour themselves in bitter frenzied assassinations. I was unworried. My
life had meaning, but many understood that the meaning was serve and die. 

My will did fade in my heart due to challenges of human anger and despair.
One way or other, my life was never meant for any others to live. I'm called 
to serve, after all, I am a soldier, the nail that the hammer struck down. Built 
for my battle, raised to serve and find my path. I stand firm and true. As my 
life had been redeemed by holy blood, I know.      
                                                                                        In Testamento Suo