The Vultures await my awakening

The tears of life have a sound, different than all others
With no beginning nor a finality, they have no mother
Their cost is sanity, every one remembered now gone
Their purpose unknown, all I know has become wrong
I wait upon soaring vultures above, circling dead flesh
They've waited for my death, heat stealing my breath
Instead I know that they will wait longer, as I stir
Crawling to the edge of existence, ending time
The end bears no resemblance to fate
Vultures hunger and I offer
I am the sacrifice
Upon an altar

Sensory Overload

You overhear adults mentioning your name
They say aloud that that kid is just not right
They never knew you, and they never would
Nor understood your life or understood why
They said "you scare me" and ignored you
Saying you were never worth it, attention
You try living quietly, no sound allowed
You refuse to speak for their pleasure
You won't be what they want you to be
Never trying to understand reasons why
But you are silent, but few know them
You've been alone since the beginning 
Sound pierces your mind, it will lead
To beatings, never stop, they never stop
You tell them "Go ahead, Mock me" 
I know you don't care, no one's tried
You'll live the rest of your life, quiet
Speaking will lead to the fists of wrath
Make the ears bleed and new attacks

A note upon your efforts

So do you love me or do you love him like it seems
I don't mind, loving you wasn't something I'd allowed
You were constant, expressed your desire all the time
Never retreating, even with saying the word "Love"
I honestly wonder, can't figure this Rubix cube out
Your words and actions leave me in complete doubt
No matter, it seems I got messages meant for another
You, who so many times told me, you were my lover
Do you tell that to everybody who might respond
Or actually prefer to exchange intimacies with all
To seek one of worth this method won't find success
Those too dull to notice will immediately say yes
Leaving you with a live body, but little beyond
Their abilities or skills won't be what you seek 
But I think you are bright, have wonderful eyes
You are someone who deserves far better
I thought so before watching it play out
You should be first among all others
Rather than loving in that way of doubt
But I am not the one you seek, I can't help you

When Dreams Flee

While I'd cried out, loud in the night
It was my fault, as I was now lost
The household woke in the fright
And my dreams won't pay a cost
Need to keep away the darkness
Who can hope inside our fears
As the dream turns nightmare
We have lost all of our dreams
When we will no longer sleep
For we we search for within
A safe place, a place of peace
There can be no rest in madness
When sleep becomes impossible
When the sandman approaches
And it bears a scream arsenal
The dream turns darkness

Wearing Restraints, Hovering Upon Crazy

A narrative of power, woven in words that bite
Existence invites an asylum, madness wrought
Asked sarcastically if I need anything, I smile
I know they'd not provide water but a drought
Earth is a great collection of beauty and power
Yet it also collects victims of our various flaws
Victims of greed, hate, hunger and a madness
As ultimately we lose our way, without cause
And we will languish inside the insane stress
Unable to escape our own damned self hate
And many other kinds of the same mess

Emotional Entropy

As a species we'll survive existential dangers
There are clear outside threats we understand
Act in violence living in constant provocation
With great proxy wars of class, race and belief
We terminate, consume prey but not in hunger 
Don't agree? You'll be pulled below the surface
Toxic waters, brown air, more destroy our flesh
If beliefs provide zero relief or hope, breathe
We speak out or express doubt, needs curse us
Time passes, death erases memory of a wrath
Fear of pain is the reason that drives our path
On a cycle of life and death, we mean nothing
Life might be better if we seek hope, be kind
Grateful to dream, oh we truly need to dream
Enter a life of excellence as hope transcends
Discover hope, share love and kindness
Life is not meaningless, it is hard
But there are nuanced rewards

My Redheaded Princess

In a rush, I felt her presence and I was free
Her love's a drug as it powered through me
Never heard blood pulse in my ears, but now
Taken by the scent, the voice, moved by all
Never knew freedom's voice, but now I do
In my heart there's a beat, that alone is true
Stirring my being, stirring my flesh and call
Surrender my will and have since been still
She is familiar with all the ways that I'm lost 
She guides me to the place where we embrace
As the world is made silent, I still hear a voice
My world is made beautiful, by her choice
Life is more than it ever was, with her

"I can't get that Little Red-Haired Girl 
out of my mind." Charles M. Schulz

散る桜

As cherry blossoms
We live only a short time
We fall into fire

In the Madness, We Will Break

The mental hospitals are now full
You aren't allowed to stay in them
But we smell foul and to be culled
No healing but you will now forget
Been made comatose, made blind
Lost in time, I can't no remember
You only live for a day, don't regret
With all the nightmares beyond you
A peaceful world waits before you
With hours of time, becoming bent
Our end is known and so it waits
Suffering, with one message sent
As our future becomes a weight
There, hung around your neck
The future has now been spent
As we will fall in abstractness 
Comes alive, human madness
The screaming is a canvas
That falls from the wall
Retreating into the vast
Black sky, star covered
But now well Emptied

Towards the Germanian border

Numidian riders told us that over the hill our enemy stood
For our contubernium, of all 8 men, we weren't interested
We'd fought battles in Gaul, lost battles in wild Germania 
We'd lost men, received others who were less disciplined
We had our time with our brothers, they were old, not new
So we'd crossed a rise of hills, expecting to see Germans
Seeing what were only walkers and wagons of a familia
We'd let them pass without complications, why murder?
We marched on, waiting to join the greater Legion force
The fields were thick with tall grass, grains in our hands
Leading us to imagine we were in Elysium, but weren't
We were now about to find out where we were, in time
Our numbers had walked enough time, spent on death

Remember or Remember less

When you love you foster hope, share dreams
When you refuse to go on, it hurts, you bleed
When you give all you are, the harvest yields
Stars hover above in space, laying in a field
We are now in Elysium, in the perfect reality
Souls are forever as flesh reaches terminus
The endpoint of your journey is now forever
And you found the perfect gift of life, love
We'll remember this, never anything else

As the Raven Flies

It doesn't fly at night, but it is late this night
My house is surrounded in all the darkness
Obscured by permanent structure, my home
My worries wrought be my mind's madness
My home is cold, and cannot offer presence
I'm fated by the masters to forever be alone
But let me draw final breath, let me end this
Unworthy of all suffering despite my being
The raven made me wake but now it flies
Morning never comes, I become comatose
And I mourn the life that I had never lived
In a house that never really was home

Cage of Love

I asked, what does it matter to you, that I'm happy
You replied, nothing, because you're nothing to me
And I reached my peak, a summit of all my despair
This was the moment in time that I couldn't redeem
You didn't care, but you had signed a death warrant
You'd decided to be your own advocate, and scream
But I wasn't the one who left, or to be on their own
I'm loyal, you weren't worried I might run, a theme
So now we are alone, we don't matter to each other
I'm released from the prison I've placed myself in
If I were to be called, by you, I would answer it
But you don't own a phone so I know, but still

Left Behind for my own Flaws

In a midst of life's burning sacrifices, we are offered up
For nothing we will survive, for nothing of any reward
Only promises of the unknown and dreams of paradise 
There were prophets but beneath the industrial scream
I hear nothing not my own voice, nor inside my mind
All we have is now, and bare little of that, dying inside
Desires and lust emptied, the future is drained of hope
What is there to decide, when flesh dominates a soul?
Is there no more than this, does life not offer more?
I've bled black my entire life, my emptiness a core
I do not suffer want, I just need to know and I don't
And if there is nothing to live for, why am I here?

The Sole Guarantee

Even when winter calls me by my name
Know season's end already did the same
A mind falls in both paranoia and blame
Screaming as I fall down a deepest hole
Asking a world inside me leave me slain
Let me fall and be free from all my hope
Tired of a world's guarantees, all unpaid
But for one paying entirely upon death
So tired of the lies of this world, I wait
For when I draw my final breath

Colonials, Tories and Lobsterbacks

As rains were able, it made our march difficult
Our bodies were exhausted, cold and tired
Our future beckoning, we'd sought freedom
We'd forever want until we found a miracle
Every volley fired every melee or lost shire
All innocence lost but a country will come
Our bones broken, we'd bleed patriot blood

As our sacrifice will allow our new country
For now and for a future nation, is done
Whether we taste of that wine, or not?
The seeds planted will birth freedom

“Humanity has won its battle. 
Liberty now has a country.” 
                  
         Marquis De Lafayette

Painting for the US National Guard
August 27, 1776
by Domenick D'Andrea   
Public Domain image

The master of Annwn, Gwyn Ap Nudd

Gwyn Ap Nudd was the master of the wild hunt
His realm is also the land where one never ages
As he travels in, but has never ruled Tír na nÓg
Annwn Welsh realm of forever youth, being his
He melts into roles with equal grace and power
Calling rites of Spring and the passing of Winter
His words are lesser known than his many roles
His presence is rare but more subtle than others
And yet, should you and he be well met souls
You would never be able to forget

The decayed spirit inside a mind

There decay wages wars in the mind
Needed, deliberate but burned black
Dark as obsidian or peak of midnight
Moments spent inside wicked thought
All dreams are now dead there inside
A world is aware, but it always hides
A mind can't contain what's wrought
By those who can't share their time
For they have all fallen as decayed
Seconds and hours spent scattered
Praying for more than a pittance
A hunger, and will ever more

The Years Betray You

Some wait for more but are now bones
After many decades, hunger still grows
Assume the worst, even more is known
As a life we want rarely is the life we get
As coincidences fake as proof, a regret
Try to be far away, as entropy may fade
Devoured and consumed, flesh betrays
Nothing's worth waiting for, if alone 
Unless you stay, giving up everything
For love, let love save you at last
If that saves you in the dream
Linger there, and let it be
All you have, or will

Time Echoes Forward

The pyramids of Giza were so powerful a vision
Evoking a timelessness, quality and greatness
Humans might not have had goals of progress
But the perfect lines, view of a magnificence
One may see a coming in future of architecture
The glorious expression of an architect's eye
No less so, that of the laboring worker's hand
Astounding those of the present, with the facts
Information presented, launched after ignition
Of a people of the sands, with a masterful math
The future had now risen, above a past in mind
In echoes of purpose of permanence and culture

Exposure

Crushed beneath the avalanche 
Of ice and snow, worse the fall 
The fall had broken him, death
It was not a passage to heaven
His flesh was exposed but late
Before the cold the scavengers
Tore into his dying flesh, he lay
In those prophecies left undone
Unfulfilled he was thought mad
But it wasn't his fault for that
He'd woven spoken dreams
All no longer possible to fill
After those disasters passed
Nothing could be foreseen
Catastrophe's aren't tame
Nor are we humans
Not any longer

Against the unseen Enemies

Julius Caesar was the leader of men in the Roman Legions
He'd invaded and conquered all of Gaul, but not Germania
Germania had a spirit of anger that could rarely be beaten
Among other tribes, The Harii, were especially dangerous
In day's light hiding in forests, sleeping in sunken bunkers
In the darkness of night, they fought, as unseen phantoms
Painting the bodies black, with black shields and weapons
Romans encountered them, but didn't think them humans
Using silence of night, and in impossible optics of stealth
The wild Harii people, refused to become slaves of Rome
As Harii suffered loss, Romans became sacred shadows

"As for the Harii, quite apart from their strength, which exceeds that of 
the other tribes I have just listed, they pander to their innate savagery 
by skill and timing: with black shields and painted bodies, they choose
dark nights to fight, and by means of terror and shadow of a ghostly army 
they cause panic, since no enemy can bear a sight so unexpected and 
hellish; in every battle the eyes are the first to be conquered." Tacitus 

Alone in the Flood

There is a taste in my mouth, of dust and blood
The moment I wake from nightmare's grave toll
Every moment I spend, every day I survive lost
There is now only my mind in apocalypse mode
No means of escape, I stood and faced the flood
Waters rushed but I never fell, wounds my cost
Now, a desert, the waters of life fled and I bled
Why bother to survive such an event, all alone
Because I know death isn't feared for kindness
And Heaven is a promise that I never deserved
Grace might be called cheating, especially if
You know all the evil that you've done
And I do

Toxic Testament

He slid a blade under my throat, flat edge of the razor on my neck
A moment, if he'd acted I'd be bleeding, caught in a mirror in death
He wants me to just die, he wants all that I am, wants all my flesh
Trapped in the bleeding mirror as life forms painted black and then
The world is hungry, but not for food, nor power, nor even still gold 
Fetished gods flayed on altars, worshiping icons, that will call you
Nothing's too late, too depraved to save, nothing too unimportant
Some who practice being fetish bearers, generally choose to do it
The waves have broken all of us, and we waited as have always 
I am unable to decide, should I die or flee and leave it far away

“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and
     no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.”    
                                               Gautama Buddha

Grateful

With every step, she'd watched, protecting me
God blessed me, my mother was truly loving 
My wife Beth is a woman, every bit as strong
Life with her and my son, has been stunning
I try never to wonder, how I made it this far
I am grateful, not everybody enters a life
Experiencing others who make life better
And they made me happier than I'd be
If I hadn't known them, no child or wife
I could never have become fulfilled
For their joy became joy, a hope for joy
While bitterness is a seed planted
Without joy or love as a harvest
Destroying hope, decaying time
I lived to find love, and I did
I am grateful

Born into Wrath

The depths of pain is unknown to those who sleep well
That place of inner calm let's them sleep, as I'm in Hell
Dying slowly, taunting me, with dreams that assure me
This life isn't forever, the life submits to another dream
In the space between seconds, time continues to escape
Moment of transition, fear flees, my life was a mistake
Born into wrath, life of scorn, lack of worth, I've none
Unforgiven by flesh, forbidden to draw a new breath
The end will be the last moment, anyone remembers
If I've nothing but pain, my being will be ignored
But when I die, they can know that by my death
That I'd walked in my footsteps, the evidence

“It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also 
remembering my reasons for them!” Friedrich Nietzsche

In the Fires of our Civilization

Fires began, a burn consumed centuries of human acts
The cause was ignored, as motive did not delete the event
Societal meltdown, bleeding from every pore, simple fact
Fatigue from addiction to events, a hubris as a pestilence
Existence became nihilism, humans were now artifacts
Waves of degradation left us unable to trust the evidence
Does our existence alone mean more than our survival?
When did we matter except to ourselves and scavengers
Did we celebrate life only to kill, as eaters of the dead?
There's danger in survival in a world of anger and hunger
For  you will become addicted to feelings of grave pain
You seek out more sources of it, rationalizing everything

“...we can endure neither our vices nor the remedies needed to cure them.” Livy

Eternity and Death

There are ways to live forever but I wonder on the desire
As Egyptians mummified the kings to travel to an afterlife
The bodies encased in wrappings and their organs removed
A pharaoh's spirit stands upon a mountain of crafted stones
In a way, even if that fails, the pharaoh will still live forever
He'll live in human memory, as his corpse is even celebrated
His deeds are remembered, when perhaps they don't matter
His visage becoming iconic, a face that'll never be replaced
Unless society begins to focus upon itself, to forget all else
Hyper focused upon the self, with computers and phones
Forgetting anything but now and all that may surrounds us
Would covering a king in gold and sacrificing everything
Make them selfish? Were they Narcissists or Fools?
Were they gods upon the earth, or just like you

“...as my eyes grew accustomed to the light, details of the room within emerged slowly from the mist, strange animals, statues, and gold - everywhere the glint of gold. For the moment - an eternity it must have seemed to the others standing by - I was struck dumb with amazement, and when Lord Carnarvon, unable to stand the suspense any longer, inquired anxiously, 'Can you see anything?' it was all I could do to get out the words, 'Yes, wonderful things.”

Howard Carter, The Tomb of Tutankhamen

Let's not Talk, OK?

You asked me if you could ask me a question
I said you just did, and you were so confused
Not understanding my words that were sincere
Yet had I let you ask, you'd hate each answer
The bleeding, my knowing your empty proof
Words and communication, hope disappears
As we've spoken and said nothing, a cancer
Confused, lying, hoping, end this dialogue
Just give it up, we've really had enough
And no, not love, only desire and need

In a Cage

I prayed aloud without listeners
In the fire, in the mire, in the mud
Consigned in my cage, a prisoner
We survived a rain and later flood
Wings broken, and cries unspoken
Left no hope before the inquisitors
We shall see endings without blood
Flesh wasn't made for spirit worlds
As a moment becomes permanent
Dreams made real, in a far away
I'm tearing off a cloak of flesh
Celebrating the opening again
Of the cage now made empty
Taking my first free breath
I've no memories left
In fair Elysium