The Burning

I couldn't close my eyes fast enough
As the flesh ended
Life was rescinded
By higher powers
My soul unable to act,
Handcuffed
My kindred stolen
Stolen from my clutch
My loved ones extinguished
What matters now
Is release
Vengeance and hurt are tools
Of the ignorant
And though I am that
Indeed I am
I long to be better
So I believe

Our God Science

Within its hands
Life is its own murderer
And I refuse to be its martyr
Life is only worth losing
If life was worth living
The cost is far greater
To die
If life is worth keeping
We should be able to see
Still, you are the torchbearer
Keeper of the global order
Leaving behind the ruins
Refusing to be forgiven
Denying the creator
In a lie
Listen to the screaming
Think nightmares are dreams
We've entered a cursed place
Where ignorance is thought
The highest virtue
Heaven traded for oblivion
 We've become the disease and distaste
Lying about the destruction we've wrought
Depending upon science to nurture
The beast we've become

burning glance

Your glance was cutting
My flesh was bleeding
Deep inside I desired
Only you
Like a rose bush budding
I grew but
I stopped breathing
Therefore how burned this fire
I bid you adieu
Now I am nothing again
Now I see darkness that remains

Shitty Motel Room Rant

It all happened differently than I’d dreamed
But I never dared disagree, with all that seemed
Staring at the ceiling laying on a mattress in winter
My motel room is cheap and I shivered
Covered poorly with blanket of fear
For the words I heard from you lips tear away the years
What is there of living if there is nothing left
What is there of me if my heart has been cleft
Into two broken pieces and the tears pour down
What is there to seek if the object doesn’t exist
Except in memory in lingering misery
I begged your indulgence and got a foot in the face
I begged your forgiveness, blood was the taste
In my mouth
My dreams had all flown South, I drove all the way with all I had
Only to find that my car was dead, my dreams were fleeting
My faith was still strong but the object I was seeking was gone
Never existed maybe, gave me false hope of something all along
Fallen dreams never mend but they function the same anyway
Now I am weary without rest
But she wouldn’t know for to her I do not exist
She wouldn’t care for my dreams persist nonetheless

I am unable

How am I supposed to lead my son to wisdom
When I am flawed to my very core
How am I supposed to teach and live in peace
When the world wages war
Who is able to rise above
When this world is broken
Who is the one, who will reach out in love
With love so flowing
Because it isn’t me
I am emptied of everything
It isn’t me and won’t be me
Despite my love for him
We have a green and blue planet
Polluted to be grey
We have a wonderful place to live
That we’ve filled with hate
I want him to be different
Than me or anyone
But how can I teach him
When all I believe comes undone
There is no blame in me
I am not pointing fingers in rage
I am simply asking
Who knows the way
I don’t know the way
No one knows the way
He was born into a generation
Innocent of our crimes
But they were swimming
In the dangerous tides
In another generation’s moral debt
From the wages of our culture wars
And terroristic threats
Building and killing
Taking without giving
How can we lead anyone
When you or he
Can see how we are living

LA FIN DE L'AFFAIRE

This is not about my life, this is a metaphor for an event, and the passing consequences that followed. I am not the speaker, I am taking the voice of the speaker, it is fiction.

I met with loneliness
After the affair
When I realized
There was no one out there
And never would be
However it might be unfair
The love in my soul was harvested
Made to be my flaw
Turned against me
Relentlessly
By someone who said they cared
What is my life for
But to share in love
What is my heart to do
If not be true
But there are pigs at the trough
Who take more than their share
Over and over my heart was robbed
Because it was open
And unaware
That people like her existed
That people like her could say
They’d love me forever and leave
Because I could never compare
To those who she could meet
Every place everywhere
But now I see
Despite a thorn in my eye
I cannot see
Through your disguise
I will never be
The one you want
So thrown away
With my life you haunt
My every move betrayed

THE KING OF LIARS

My words are that of a King
The King of Liars
I am the King of a Kingdom
Filled with love and desire
To serve my people, here,
From my throne in this Asylum
They pad my throne in good trust but
They don’t let me write with pencils or pens here
So I use my bloody fingers upon the walls
They don’t give me paper due to the chance of cuts
But I bleed anyway
Then they wash my words away
With blast hoses used for fires
The straitjacket holds me as if I might fall
But the real straitjacket is inside
Where I am held aloft by tether wires
To make sure I do not drown
In their world I am paralyzed
And I scream without sounds
I see things that do not exist
I hear voices that surely insist
That the place I am here
Would be better off
With me deceased
And I cannot resist
The lure of the shallow grave
Once empty but now I am saved
By its welcoming comforts
By its solitary love instead of hate
By its empty bed
Welcomes me living and
Still I crave despite my survival
To be someplace else, instead
My arrival was unheralded
My passing will be unreported
For I solely long to be
A King of a Kingdom
Away from this happy place
This living wound
This Asylum

new poem: Thrust of Blame

They thrust
Blame upon me
I am shamed by their voice
But I never did what they say
I cannot escape their views
Or faulty memories
I can never be the same
Just a moment of trust would go nicely
To soothe the wounds they’ve opened
On me
A moment of trust so distant and lost
They won’t let me be, again
I am broken beyond repair
Blame upon me
Shame upon me
I could explain but it doesn’t matter
They’ve as much as framed me
They’ve judged me as being wrong
And it doesn’t matter a damn
Truth is trumped by anger
Over and over again.