Skeptics

To be called to witness against known truth
To live in a world that desires the falsehood
We prefer the lies that comfort our small mind
Demanding evidence then denying the proof
The emptiness inside, reality misunderstood
Existence unworthy of Earth's perfect design
To destroy our only planet, in a suicidal drive

Upon a Pyre

Lay every care upon the altar
Give away your pain and tears
Save the words and holy water
As sorrow fades in the years
Deny the decay and slaughter
Surrender your life and fears
For you will soon be free

My Nightmare

This dream would never end, I'd always keep seeking
To find one who loved my soul, who'd kept me whole
I'd never surrender to despair, stop me from dreaming
For there's one made for me, one who I long to behold
My tears have stopped falling, and destiny stop calling
Standing alone, solitude, my fate permanently imbued
Aware of my sins, unprepared for the wounds within
I wait for my life's end, and the Angel of Death to send
My soul to eternity's home, in finality

From the whispering motion of a butterfly's wings

The last thing I'd ever want, would be to travel back in time, and change my choices made
The next to last thing I'd ever want, again going back in time, make the same damn mistake
As a viewer of history, I am well aware that many would choose what I would not choose
As a reflective poet, I'd think about the new set of disasters that would be even more cruel
By changing one thing, might we not set off a chain of reactions, and destroy our world
The butterfly effect is a theory, I know, but if real, waves of change could unleash doom

too long

Time moves so slowly, in moments like these, when you grieve
Memories flee like the call of fire in a theatre moves the runners
I can't live, you being gone, one moment without you, too long
The time I promise to return by, is the same time, I too will pass
For you were my life, you were my reality, my standing life tree
I pray to see you soon, in the afterlife, or in my tomb
Until that time, I just grieve

Choices

A warrior of faith might believe himself devout,
And with his life then serve many great causes
True loyalty and fidelity to a cause means something
He must deny his human hungers, lust and desires
Meaning denial of his basic human functions and life
By the end of his life, he prays to leave nothing left
So that his flesh has been given in service, in his fire
By serving God he has chosen a life, lived for others
And by doing so he has abandoned his own desires
In exchange for his right to serve the holiest one
No promises of riches, fame, enjoyment of the flesh
Only the joy of serving one who reigns much higher
Than any god or being, of any human imagination
And by serving the one, he fulfills the needs of others

Uprising in the Lowest Realm

Two dozen left of one legion, now lost by the thousands
The angel of death has worn thin his reaper's blade
Even should our names be remembered only by him
Our deaths have become meaningless by acts of the throne
We will be lost to existence, forgotten by his hubris
Of his diplomatic failure, our numbers sent forward
The resulting catastrophe ignored by the emperor's own
His reign unaffected, other than not having our lives to use
He could wage his war still, but less able, we'd been elite
We are gone, the war would continue, but with less hope
For until now, we'd never tasted defeat, a slippery slope
Fear of future loss, true detriment to planning and action
Rome's emperor, in his royal colored robes, wasn't wise
He forgot the old, wise saying, abundans cautela non nocet
He'd make war from the throne's power, than to negotiate
And the true losses were those who were devoted to him
To make his empire greater, defeat enemies of the throne
We gave our lives, with no more left to give, so we pray
Fallen, our bodies rot, turn bloated and purple, in death
Lay there upon the grounds failed, Mars ignored our pleas
And now, in grueling pain, we are drawing final breath
We ask that Charon lets is board his boat across the Styx
To Hades we'll pass, with coins upon our eyes for passage
We died for our people, tossed into final battle, in Hell
For the throne, and we linger now, in the deadlands
Aware of our current limits, darkness and fears
We may reorganize our legion from the many
And overthrow Lord Pluto, master of this realm
Breaking free from our chains, and this insanity
With our first blow, fate is defeated, and destiny invoked

astra inclinant, sed non obligant

The Last

There will come a day, when the sorrow passes
But not today, I've lost sight of the everlasting
I can only see the fog, the darkness and gloom
My life is unworthy of hope, I deserve the tomb
What does anything matter, why do I even care
The wine glass of life shattered, life is fully unfair
It may be that I be made whole, a belief in my core
If I take one sip from the holy Chalice, restore my soul

Political

The longer I live, the less I am able to see, the good, kind, and honorable
Are those traits now uncommon, believed unworthy, are they improbable
With every step I take, I do knowing others died for the freedoms I enjoy
In South Africa, the first free election, people waited many hours with joy
Their struggle for freedom and equality led them to appreciate the rights
We've lost our vision for the future, lost a desire to enter an injustice fight
Who are we to ignore the chance to enact our privileges of being citizens?
Who are we to forget what makes us all part of the great corporate vision?

The Bear

Yes, Putin and the modern Russian state don't have the world's favor for a reason
Ukraine and Russia have had similar cultures with different goals and seasons
Russia might be aggressive but it doesn't act in a vacuum, or without thought
I see a people who have paid for every step forward with three brutal steps back
Imagine a people who suffered millions upon millions dead from 1905 to 1945
In famines, world wars, revolutions, wars of imperial expansion and civil wars
In modern times we've never seen a Russia that was not in sorrow and hunger
Nazism might never have been defeated without their efforts, or their sacrifices
Is there a modern arrangement of power requiring different levels of civilization
A situation where some are meant to suffer, as others enjoy luxury, abundance?
Why do we feel so cold to the suffering of a people, is it fear?  Is it envy?

Judge not the past

Apache youths would run holding a mouth full of water
To avoid mouth breathing, keep their throat from drying
They'd run up a mountain, and back, and then spat it out
The result of great physical ability and fulfilled potential
When people wonder what makes a warrior people act
It is a difference, routine of hard life, life with no doubt
Spartans of ancient Greece had similar, grueling tasks
Trained hard upon living, with citizenship the reward
Sparta was the backbone of defense against empires
Moderns see this as abuse, others as child punishment
But times are different, and the past was about survival
Modernity is about how to thrive, rather than to endure
I refuse to judge what I've not lived, nor could I know

Human Exodus

In the midst of this storm, there comes a moment
Appreciating the menacing clouds, malevolence
Knowing no human could ever hold such power
Until the advent of the nuclear age, with a regret
An atomic thunder, violence leading to an exodus
Fleeing doesn't matter, for this is the final hour

"Any human power can be resisted and changed by
human beings. Resistance and change often begin in
art, and very often in our art, the art of words.”

                                                 Ursula K. Le Guin

Catastrophe in the Teutoburg Forest

Autumn, 9 Christian era
In unconquered Germania

The blood mingled with the dirt and sweat from the constant battle
I was called to lead my unit, but the instant it began, it was chaos
By day one of the "battle" ended, the shocking result was known
Nearly all my unit had been slaughtered, despite fighting to the end
When the few stragglers came forward, more Germans poured forth
General Varus followed his guide, without a question of his reliability
A German named Arminius, to Germans a hero, to Rome a traitor
For as a younger man, Arminius spent time in Roman hands
His time in their presence taught him their ways, he learned well
By day three of the ambush, this Teutoburg Forest became our grave
We, soldiers, never took the Germans as being anything but warriors
But our Generals saw Germania as just another land to conquer
None of the proud Legions entering the forest came out again
Few men of any Legion were able to escape, let alone survive
Every aquila carried in honor, was lost in absolute dishonor

Answers

The end of the matter, a question answered
Life is rich in opportunity, rich with cancer
Who are we to ask why, we've only to live
For me results of life require me to forgive
It isn't easy, we might live in pain or in fear
As time wears our edges smooth with tears
If we delve the depths of our soul to forget
Maybe we'll learn others actions left regret
And in the end, how perfect am I to judge
Might not be easy, but I've chosen to trust
The time for me is now, with the past gone
Alive now, soon dead but then a new dawn
I am ready and perfectly prepared for awe
Let it be, I am ready, my time is done

“I have no idea what's awaiting me, or what will happen
when this all ends. For the moment I know this: there are
sick people and they need curing.”             Albert Camus

The Senses Fulfilled

The wind gives my lungs breath, reviving my flesh
As the ocean waves renew with my tears, my trust
Who can I be in this place, without your embrace
You came to me in the flood, at last I knew love
My secrets found a home as my heart found hope
I can, at last, sleep, live with you there in dream
Keeping me alive with thought, in solitude serene

Midnight Awareness

Pitch black, after midnight, the darkness flows without light
A time for dreaming is far away, now begins the reckoning
Mistaken words, acts without foresight, wisdom is fading
The abyss of guilt is filled, but only the innocent know guilt
Wherever one sees himself, no more dreams are made to fit
Emptiness of sorrow, chasm of justification, churning regret
We've dreamed of ways to escape fate, sorrow never relents
And we've been offered no hope, only the darkness of the pit

To Awaken in a world of sleep walkers

They spend their days, in debate over the height and weight of God's angels
Finding the endless questions without answers moving, thrilling, satisfying
They ask, with great sincerity, how many can angels dance on a head of a pin
Crafting a dialogue between God and Christ, asking who is the worst sinner
The theologians timelessly chat, as they measure the depth of our stain within
They refuse to answer real questions, with their subjects they pick and choose
So was Jesus Christ god, a god + man or just a man bringing such good news
Do we have an offer of forgiveness if we fall, as we walk on the path of truth
How can we balance human reason and intuition, if they weren't gifts at birth
Since we are morally flawed and fail constantly, when we fall, what can we do?

The Masquerade Ends

I was imprisoned for my rage, for all of my anger
It was your lack of love that made me your stranger
What am I to do, being raised with an empty heart
I've nowhere to run with this heart covered in scars
I can't escape, I never could, you made that certain
The play is over, masquerade ends, fall the curtain
The mask falls off, my flesh can't bear the task
There is nothing left but survival
Waiting for the end's arrival

“Masks reveal. They don’t conceal. Masks reveal your cravings,
your passion, your deepest most secret desires.” Chloe Thurlow

Waves and Voices

Some people ask where is the love, where is the true emotion
As we're wrapped in our lives, awash in the waves of an ocean
We prefer things to be easy, but nothing easy is ever as good
The flood of emotions and love will come, like finding truth
We can't find the path, while focused upon life's other choices
We can't hear sounds of hope when drowned by other voices

"The building stood on a narrow point of land- or what was now
a narrow point of land-fully three hundred feet above what must
lately have been a seething vortex of mad waters." HP Lovecraft

Live to fight another day

Emergency landing pods released from the mother ship
And despite battle damage to mother's hull and structure
Crew remained in place, allowing the  survivors to land
A thick atmosphere made tracking the pods impossible
Survivors split into factions to ensure the group survival
As the world was pregnant with life, hard to understand
The survivors approached the single human settlement
In three separate groups, they didn't trigger suspicions
The arrival was managed with stealth, almost invisible
A brief campaign of resistance overthrew their enemy
The alliance signaled, the survivors requested rescue
But there remains questions and dangers all around
We'll endure if possible, survival is not guaranteed

To Hear A Call

I'd prayed to be renewed, restored to a state of being
Where I could've understood the power of the throne
Let me trust in your provenance, that you are my king
So I might then believe from my heart down to my bones
You are everything, perfect, and in my deep I hear your call
God rescue me from the doubt, let me know what love is about
The thunder inside my heart, strikes like lightning upon the horizon

Her Protector

So beautiful, with black fur, golden eyes
She loved only me and trusted only me
She distrusted all others, to prior abuse
Slept solidly, not moving under my arm
Constantly purring, she seemed content
Knowing she'd be safe from any harm
I believe she trusted I was her protector
And now I miss her more than anything
for Simone

Alex Ness© 2023

 

Trapped

What if there is nothing but pain and fear
If my flesh fades, and I'm found transfixing
Stare into the sun, and I'm bleeding tears
My soul disappears, my memories drifting
If the mirror cracks, my reflection isn't clear
I'm full of hubris, ignorant, I won't hear the call
If I'm trapped in the miry clay, will you lift me
Will you free me, releasing me from my fear
I'm unforgiven, drowning in an ocean of tears
God please let me be forgiven, before I fall
Before I die, and I lose it all

Psalm 40

I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD.

The Harvest

As science goes forward, our flesh becomes the test subjects
Drugs used to hyper mediate, hyper intoxicate, and regulate
Cloning leads to an artificial human, born to serve a purpose
Sperm and egg in coitus are no longer needed to create life
However much we believe it is life, the life created isn't new
Petri dishes with artificial DNA, leading to soul less beings
A churning of biological remnants, residue a form of stew
The world that beckons suggests we'll harvest their organs
Life's no longer sacred, all our actions will invite doom

Offerings to Technological Gods

Even as the photograph was cutting edge technology
Few perceived the next step having moving pictures
If our voices and musical recording onto discs began
The telephone and telegraph came quickly after that
Radio made the world smaller, linking all listening
Computers slowly changed everything, again
First in war and accounting, then all our beings
With internet the world would never be the same
For both good and ill, we can't change our ways
The path before keeps going in new directions
Values decay, civilization can't control the change
Those they linger too long in the past are lost
Others are offered up to the technological gods
And very few enjoy the benefits of the new faith
While we know the next advancement is coming

 We know that we cannot control the next revolution

“Before you become too entranced with gorgeous gadgets and
mesmerizing video displays, let me remind you that information
is not knowledge, knowledge is not wisdom, and wisdom is not
foresight. Each grows out of the other, and we need them all.”
        
                                                                           Arthur C. Clarke

Being wanted

What does it mean, to just be wanted
Why do I need to be someone's desire
Will I find love, even more than the lust
I've been empty, walk around haunted
Why do I care, life is a dumpster fire
If I've never found someone I can trust
It doesn't matter if my life is at an end
If all I wanted, needed or cannot have
Is to be withheld from me, with laughter
My dreams are nothing, I so don't matter

(Not autobiographical, I love my wife.)

Dreaming

In the casual mention of dreams and presence of nightmares
Enter the realm, comes the sandman, enter master of despair
If consumed by my fears, my mind will yet wander the sky
As this world bleeds into dreamscape, I'll somehow survive
Since I'm condemned for my dreams, I'll now confess freely
I'll endure, I will fly, my dreams will still be able to heal me
In the rhythm of life are cycles and phases of power, energy
Giving me a reason to exist, give me a reason to believe

Bones Burning in the Abyss

Thrown down, my esteem is swirling into the void
My bones will be burning in the abyss, a nightmare
Here is an emptiness, pulls at the edges of my sanity
I'll scream into silence and then wait to be destroyed
My cloak of flesh and fabric of reality are ripping
I cannot flee, all paths lead into unknown, nowhere
Is there any comfort or hope, for I have only agony
My body heaves in exhaustion and I hear footsteps
Soon I see the first pursuers from the faceless horde
Can't scream, frozen in fear, this portent of oblivion
Life will soon be over, I've no choice but go forward
The broken world might endure, but I cannot, so I run
I screamed into silence, I'm made cold from the quiet
The world will come to an end, my fears overcome
There is light at the end of the tunnel, shining
I pull back the veil, revealing all that waits for me

In Babylon

Through existence we've watched, waited, forewarned
Waiting upon red skies, blackened earth, then screams
For when life won't matter, in view of a coming storm
Sleepwalking through life, living as if in a dream
Reality as nightmare, morality shredded at the core
We've nothing left, feet planted firmly in Babylon
For we have become lost, and can never be restored
In a fecund, foul city of excess, led by god Mammon
Smiling, taking our offerings of gold and treasure
As we live for pleasures of the flesh and leisure

Escaping the Darkness

In that haunting beauty of the moment of awareness
Bitter losses that grieve our past, no longer menace
So how do we know, how do we maintain our place
Lost in the confusion, with the ghosts we will chase
The pits of the abyss never beckon without consent
We invite pain and the nightmares that never relent
It is time we rise, and choose a new path

ghosts in the trees

These ghosts wait in the trees to whisper to us
To plant doubts, lead us to despair and oblivion
Every life is surrounded by those who haunt
Recalling the sins against us and want justice
The shade is darkness in the form of obsidian
We hunger, fearful of getting what we want
Unaware that we are the only ones to blame
Should we not get enough, of trust or of love
The ghosts in the trees know us all by name
They linger, knowing no one gets enough
All our dreams vapid, all our lives dust

A Winter Queen

Born regal, a full pure blooded noble, powerful and wise
A winter queen, she'd slept upon a snow covered throne
In her castle, built by the giants and kin of the mountain
To reign from on high, from that planet's frozen heights
With an ability to turn a once living foe into dry bone
Surrounding castle walls sentries, on foot and mounted
Steel, horses, swords were nothing compared to her ire
She was more powerful than all of the forces of humans
More powerful than the mighty danger found in nature
Beautiful but even more dangerous with a spirit of fire
Retaining yet her humility, and respect for her creator
Yes, she was a ruler queen, but truly, something more
She was her people's fair leader and greatest protector

Doomed Future?

When before a myriad of flaws inside the mirror
I'd opened my eyes and did not like the reflection
My life a blur, as my flesh burned before the seer
Prophets and mystics lost in the emptiness within
The world looks for one to hate, so bent, a horror
I'll give in, the life I have is not worth defending
The world looks upon me, with a cruel fascination
Drowning, that look upon my face of pure terror
Doomed, my future is punishments unending
And with a pain that beckons unrelenting
I'm breaking, again and again and again

My ignoble pursuit

I've been told I must seek perfection, in morality and flesh
It can never be so, in my world or any other, I'm flawed
My task is to do what has never been done in modernity
Over time, any found perfect of anything are taken away
Beginning to end, we all fail, constantly, birth to death
If I were perfect of anything, I'd stop feeling awe
Lose more than life in losing awe, to not seek eternity
Such ignoble pursuits, seeking perfection, I'd fail to see
Losing everything that gives meaning, will be my fall
If offered a shiny perfect body, a heart that is empty
I'd choose my mistakes, suffer more broken flesh
In my imperfection I am made complete
How I long to know the kiss of eternity
Where I see the truth of all
Even to rise from defeat

The Whisper was true

I heard you whisper it but I couldn't believe it
I'd spent my life without words, without a tone
I'll not linger in echoes of all that'll never be
Of a friendship's regrets found deep within
All the trials, inside, outside or even far gone
I've spent decades with a love unreturned
Able to say it, nude to the world, unredeemed
I am unashamed and wait in the dusk, dark
Early evening shadow cannot hide fire in me

I am ready, let me burn

Darkness trying to speak

My voice cracks, louder even my words all break
My life was lived despite my life being a mistake
Forsaken for having ideas, ignored, told be quiet
My time was spent in darkness, the world silent
To be or not to be, one question without answer
No one knows how it feels being a stain, a cancer
This life was spent, a mistaken, forsaken stain
Whatever I do, the knowledge remains

It is Time We Care

If we waver to find our compassion
And if we fail to find the empathy
Will our children be any different
It is one sign of humanity to care
To live we must find our passion
As we're now numbed by entropy
Our selfishness became relentless
In this world to be kind is daring
It's now time we change our path
Our children will learn to be kind
So that we might save others
From existence's dark wrath

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is
fighting a difficult battle.”    Plato

Megaliths

They amaze us, we're spellbound, what could our ancestors have meant
Megalithic structures mark a moment and messages from the past sent
And just as a message travels through space taking time to be received
Structures do have information for the present, but took time to be seen
Are they built to tell a future generation, we've sought and found truth
Here long before you, we've sought all the things you now feel are new
Monuments to knowledge, to goals sought, do they exist simply to be
Do they tell a story, are they mysteries to mentally inspire our beings?

Different Dreams

The dreams I have never feature air flight or romance
They don't allow my escape or different circumstance
My dreams allow me to be released, into an emptiness
My dreams don't give me hope, romance or relevance
They offer me just one thing, finality
And, at last, solace

"Destruction is finite, obstruction is infinite: so long as rebellion takes the
form of mere disorder (instead of an attempt to enforce a new order) there
is no logical end to it; it can feed on itself and renew itself forever.”           
                                                                                                GK Chesterton

The Gray Artist Palette

In a world without color, no purpose, nor any meaning
Preference never mattered, I suffer from indistinct pangs
Of faith lost in the haze of a composite gray, screaming
The world consumes, devours the weak, bearing fangs
If I exist without a reason but still exist, is life real?
If I die when dreaming, is this worthwhile, is it surreal
The world will burn, as all efforts go without reward
Our suffering forever goes unnoticed and silenced
Our sacrificed life an offering, unaccepted, scorned
A gift that comes without thanks, unadored