My eyes are closed, but I'm not blind
I have purpose and vision and a mind
Never surrender a will for an easier life
Search your soul in every passing day
For a goal to seek in existence's wave
This is your life, you've just one today
Never surrender, live for forever
Find the path before you
With a spirit untamed
Measured by standards of perfection, by a disease
I didn't know what I was doing, not wanted to see
I'd already tasted of venom, of humanity's history
People without empathy, starving the rest for gain
This world has no sibling, we are forced to remain
Seeking a new life is impossible, so I try to endure
I know that I am a waste, others get by with allure
I've nothing, and nothing wants me, so I just wait
Sooner or later I'll sleep or find my self awakened
Then respond to the calling, by breathing or not
In another day, our efforts might have been worth much more
But in this emptied era, all our anger brings the greater harvest
As we stand and watch, and the machine mind counts the cost
Our labors seen as wanting, we're trained for bestial conquest
For our greatest abilities, our life long goal, war leaves us lost
Do we abandon our society as we try to escape our proclivities
Our greatest ability is to kill, destroy, entertain our worst ways
If we do not change, we'll fall, our own species soon extinct
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As I stared out suddenly with no breath
I couldn't think, deceive or hope
I was dead to this world, for so long
My dreams had all turned gray in color
Thinking, trying, my hope was gone
With love turned cold, flesh vulgar
The days grow shorter, time fades
I've so little comfort, I'm in a daze
With all my world alive, but for me
It is about time I claim my history
Rather than dissolve for all time
Let it free from fate, not be fazed
Find love, find dreams
With eternity embrace
Now and forever
I will finally be
Ready to live
Again
To inhale again
At last
Exhale and revel
Celebrate because life is
We are emptied souls without it
Dreaming an event didn't yet achieved it
Wanting doesn't mean that I now possess it
Preventing forward progress, having no hope
With love I could achieve dreams, I believe
I know that there's no value in one's greed
On a path to a summit, followed by crows
Hear the call, keep climbing, reach the peak
When you reach, notice the corpses frozen
All fell before they achieved their deed
Then appreciate all of your efforts taken
Find a central path, don't be mistaken
You need to find a way to rise above
Life's costs demand it from you
You can do it, that is the truth
Life is surely not easy
That's nothing new
But I can do it
I will do it
Yesterday, a sun burned hot but only for so long
Bright light but cool breeze of when Autumn calls
A world has its own clock, it doesn't pick favorites
When Autumn goes, the sun is mild and snow falls
No time better than now to say, oh how I am cold
As a dying sun fades, as dreams come, fate befalls
Our shelter shifts, a foundation is in full collapse
Nothing's lasts, except things we can't measure
Nothing ever remains the same, but the eternal
We are made of flesh, not of stars and stuff
Time never acts for us, as does for others
To love the unlovable, will require grace and mercy
To love me, the unworthy, requires more than faith
I am a being composed of flesh, very little divine
My heart struggles with a pain, as if by a design
I may deep despair before I enter the darkness
I will rise, grace carries me through the tests
I will remember, while up the stairs I climb
Thankful for a fresh page to sign
They chased our unit down a dust covered road
Desperate to somehow breathe, open my mouth
Sweat and dust created a veneer, with caked dirt
Few paths one might use whichever one is taken
We moved swiftly to begin but we're exhausted
Ancient scribes told of an army, lost and dying
No one knew enough to go seek and find them
No one knew where they'd went or came from
Now surrounded, on foot, and by horse archers
Knowing once we'd read this, a final chapter
In a selfish humanity we are jealous, filled with ire, we'll break
All disasters are made by man, storms, pleasure by violence
We question our purpose, when the generations are set adrift
Don't stare too long into the sun, burnt eyes see oblivion
Absolute blank, yet black ink in the darkest of colors
Nothing remains pestilence, war, famine and death
Born to hold back the surging tide at the gates
While our spirits flee, nothing remains of flesh
Raising my arm, trying to be rescued from the fire
A lake in a dark cave, molten in flame and the ire
Heard someone call my name, no more felt blame
Bending on a knee, to reach their hand out to me
Unaware of damage I caused, of windmills fought
Now watching fires rise above a charred unloved
Where hubris burns, where hate is served to dine
Heroes came to the night realm save those in fire
An act of love had freed me, I was shown mercy
I thought it could not be, my wisdom has grown
I try to repay the gift, but how priceless is grace?
How priceless, a new start, or joy of a new heart
With thanks to the gods of the sky
A hunter's obsidian bladed dagger
Was used to began to skin the hide
Their family as one gathered food
All labored, all worked in the tribe
As hunters prepared a next harvest
No one had a choice of work to do
All worked to live, or turn to dust
No group voice, they didn't decide
But to demands of life without law
Or by a cause born by for the tribe
And as a unit they worked to live
Walking through the madness
I
Am
Lost
In the rhythms of life
Disassembled, panic strewn with fear
As my mind cannot focus due to pain
Lack of order, amidst the chaos
Until they bring the next meds to take
To quiet my mind
My room has no corners
The walls are padded
Every edge is covered in white
Cushioned so I don't injure myself
The time to worry over that
For my safety or for others
Is beyond recall
My insanity remains
Sedated by meds
I suffer wounds
I'll not rise again
After my last fall destroyed me
I can't bear it
I've no perseverance
Only pain
I can't explain my current state
A mix of anger and sorrow
With side effects
Of anxiety
And exhaustion
You had healed me and my heart in what you said
It was totally unconditional and non transactional
A soul restored by your words, reaching my heart
I was willing to die, now I've no desire to be dead
Finding joy in having hope, the summit is passable
Still I'm waiting for your return and there are scars
For love in the distance can feel magical, but hard
A love left to linger, if silenced, leaves only pain
Quench my thirst, please call my name
Again and again
Around us, the villages burn after war
And every battle has ended in failure
My armor is ruined, body has wounds
To save a realm under golden banner
But I can't surrender, I cannot give in
Trained for battle until it is concluded
To live or die, there is only one savior
I serve him, that no others shall fall
Upon April 30, 2025 a great moment came
As a portent of the hero's arrival on Earth
Called to serve and to make a difference
For as a Marvel he'd made an appearance
The greatest potential, bright, with honor
He appeared on our silent planet of Earth
Where we'd received a mass deliverance
For he was sent by God, indeed a marvel
His mother volunteered to be his light
Marvel was to be blessed and baptized
His life thereafter would correspond
With the call of God to serve and lead
The bright trail of leadership followed
A future composed of honor, and hope
The world didn't deserve his presence
With holy water, and prayers, he arrived
God sealed his calling as a warrior
His armor was special, chosen for him
A breastplate of armor as righteousness
His shield composed of faith within
His helmet was forged of salvation
Beneath a belt of truth his way prepared
Unlike others on earth, bound in flesh
Sealed with the most holy of water
Called to his quest, carrying a banner
Bearing the call of the highest King
No one lives forever, no one of mortal flesh
No one lives without sin within, only breath
I fail every day, calling out to be saved, but...
My life will be poured out, like spilled wine
Not wonderful nor perfect, crossing the line
I am lost, but can only be saved by the divine
Jesus I surrender, let my foul spirit now burn
Give me hope, and let my joy in you return
I beg please, I am unworthy, but need mercy
Embrace me, and let me survive by grace
That I will only find, in you
In the deepest depths of collapse, with no hope to rise
I've been broken, torn from the root and begun by seed
God gave hope and birth, offered hope through sacrifice
Life does not guarantee more than existence, or victory
Why do I try to answer all of those rhetorical questions
We're given intelligence, can we not know answers
In madness, I need survival and heard abstentions
Life sees disease, disorders, syndromes and cancer
And we're faced with the reverse of a mirror
There are glass cracks, filled with color red
But we've chosen to become blind
Never to see the collision ahead
What do we have, what can we do
The depression's song, a poet's dying pen and ink
As if there's nothin' worth remembering, knowing
Love soon disappeared as all my hopes fell fallow
A sound of me hitting the surface, splash is small
As the rope had broke, the ink blackness growing
I'd called for God to save me but the same time
As I'd tied all the restraints, I couldn't break free
My body was cold, becoming numb, I was blind
As I felt life leaving me, I couldn't hear the voice
Telling me to come back, as fear and pain collide
Foolish act, thinking life or death my own choice
Eyes were open, unseeing... screams unspeaking
Refused to beat, as I could feel sensations chime
A new breath taken without remembering
But I know I'd chosen my own path
Lost in the emptied quiet
Sorrow had chosen to let me live
Fear made me no longer want to die
The world sought and received my silence
Called by my tribal memories, my ancestors crossed oceans
Leaving these frozen lands, barren and the tundra and fjords
Following our pantheon, giving sacrifice, called by prophets
Left to ask, let our tribe starve or invite others take our home
Our great discoveries of new lands and global trade followed
Called to appease the modern ideal, we have earned our place
We never sought to lead the world, only to expand our reach
Our Homeland will always be covered in thick ice and snow
The future is uncertain but surrender or inaction are death
And our children and families deserve far more than that
You said you loved me would do so forever
And said this all without ever having met me
Addicted to being wanted, you needed a fix
Hunted for a broken person with a heart open
Your beauty would then lead one, on so far
So ugly inside for a person so very beautiful
I was screaming, still alone, silenced in sorrow
Don't tell me I was an equal partner, I wasn't
I didn't know you, didn't want to, I was a fool
Wounded, bleeding inside, I'd nothing to offer
But you'd played the game so long, a veteran
The world owed you, just a cruel performer
Then you were revealed behind your mask
An addict of emotions, and cruelty to others
All who've lived before us and walked the quest
Living and dying long before today ever began
To those in memory we thrive due to your labors
As sacred shadows you're modernity's lynchpin
Nothing we do now wasn't preordained by you
Today is ignorant, arrogant and full of hubris
Somehow think we deserve the inheritance
Life isn't a repeating cycle of inevitability
Our current generation, however earnest
Believe we've reached a perfected state
We are anything but perfect, unworthy
Our excellence is mental illness
We hold upon our naive hopes
In ignorance's splendor
We somehow muddle forward
Letting the machines think for us
Letting the government decide for us
Letting drugs and personal choice live our life
We're unable to be inevitable in our inheritance
For we are the makers of our own catastrophe
I stood above them, that gathered crowd
They spewed a hatred, calling for blood
Fear meant absolutely nothing to them
They'd anger rather than fear, and bled
Showing arrogance and falsely proud
My maker made me to call his name
My creator spoke those words of power
Calling down lightning, bringing floods
Filled earth with fear horizon to horizon
The day time runs out, seen by the hour
Many will fall upon their knees, seeking
I've brought peace, love as a high tower
All are welcome to change, be redeemed
No I don't care, I gave in long ago
My eyes are tired but the ink flows
Whatever words escaping as blood
Mind is screaming in a silent flood
A shimmer of reflection in darkness
I had fallen, failed every single test
Emptied sockets, solar flares burnt
12,000 year cycles and the reverse
Watching in orbit, the planet waits
We all need hope to escape fate
Or a map to our future destiny
Dried blood on my back and in the creases of my eyes
The medical techs claimed these meds would help, lied
I came into the room, formed into a circle, I'm broken
They applied restraints, across my mouth and four limbs
The flesh was my own, applied when born or fallen off
I'd nothing to offer but a broken mind, then removed
The world outside of my own is a final, toxic reality
With nothing at all that I can do to change a world
Now they want me to pay, for the inconvenience
Offered up to be slain I am open to that thought
Life itself is good, hard, the future wrought
With no pain, nor tears and nothing more
I've no hope left nor dreams, I'm torn
If I knew better, I'd just fade away
Hoping for less pain for others
Let me sleep for now, I pray
Just let me be the stain
Violent thunderstorms and lightning both strike
Bodies will get soaked, catastrophes hit earth
Minds reach inside, hiding, souls avoid touch
Thunder crashes, atoms sound, and they'll burst
Wrapped in the evening fog
Cloaked in soft white flows
Sound is quieted and serene
One cannot know it enough
To ask all chance to find this
I wasn't looking and found
In the moment, I knew this
The mysteries that we find
Aren't created by us, for us
They're a voice in the dark
Muted by a cloak, by quiet
Watching for our reactions
Watching our fears grow
An otherwise gentle place
Turned into a mystery
He is seated, watching dawn as it breaks
The human world is an exquisite beauty
Life and light are offers of glory so pure
The being sits and swallows the moment
Calls out to a living planet, no more fear
Everything wondrous was given to the land
By the maker of the world
I had called out, save me, I can't save myself
For my deeds of the flesh led to full sorrow
The world hung upon the margins of death
My species had now despaired, survival narrow
And as I opened my eyes for the final time
The scene before me was red sky and screams
Surrender sounded sweet like sweet relief flesh
All my fears fled, my limitations now inside
My heart and mind survived, in my dreams
I've lingered in hope, oh it has delivered
Now I've finally escaped, a path beckons
In great hope, I've taken my first free breath
Counting time leaves not even seconds
The clock of time in existence endures
Even as I do not, even if I do
The bodies were bloated, gray, and covered in blood
Floating on the surface, after invading Saxon shores
The Viking ships burned to the waterline, no escape
Slain at the shore, bodies now still, and stuck in mud
Failed attacks a reminder, to all those who'd ignore
Wars between tribes no way to live, all hope forsake
Let the wise make use of knowing the Saxon shores
No place to wander as they destroy ordinary men
The world has watched, from the heights and depths of civilization
Knowing a battle's going on, violent, society destroying damnation
Earth's religious beings and doom seers see we are all in starvation
Whether from all of the nuclear weapons, comet impact, or toxicity
Earth has been poisoned, by hand or by misbehavior, pure futility
We have nothing to do to avoid this, the end comes, immutably
With nothing left by choice, the path we've taken was disaster
If we're alive until madness, who will bring the silence
I know how I've been wrong, intentional in my sin
Yet, my days of anger are gone, I've peace within
For the torture of self hate and madness have fled
My spirit is alive again, even as my soul has bled
I'd stared into mirrors of doubt, I dreamt of more
I feel a rising in my core, fear cast out, restored
Oh, where there is peace, there's hope and life
And my soul is sustained, I have survived
Floating in space, gravity has lost the will to fight
My being lives born with a spirit longing for flight
The closest world is dark not from stasis, but life
Into the indigo, hunter green, deep pockets alive
Watching for hope, swiftly, descend into paradise
Safely land upon a world no longer untouched
By the human species, how we have searched
For a new home, to create a new civilization
Let us never let this planet be damned
Who will speak without knowing, because a time seems rife
The echoes swallow up the moment, time is liquid and clear
I cannot imagine a greater event than a mother has delivered
Destiny calls that child to somehow do better than we have
Living through waves of great dysfunction, hunger and fear
Will we rise to meet the challenge or will we fall like others
Is our generation last, will we see it all end with tears?
I was lied to, I was deceived, told I could choose my own path
Attacked by fate, subject to abuse, zealous martyr of the wrath
I believe in a destiny, my future was to become so much more
A knight who lived to serve his king, armored and able to fight
A life dedicated, alone worth nothing, serving one who is right
Even if I bleed or I'm subject to torment, I must and will stand
The maker of this world and beyond, called me to understand
In another place, another time
We embraced and loved sublime
The world forgets, we remember
Lives changed, once was splendor
Along a path, we'll find the other
And begin again as we are lovers
Loving and spending our forever
Without others to interfere
My life has never been over, born in spirit, made in flesh
I live knowing, flesh is weak, dying by minute after birth
Freewill guides my path, but I'm limited by every breath
If soon, by context of eternity, time reveals it is the curse
Exist with great existential question, I have few answers
My flesh dies, my spirit fades, until I'm able to transcend
Doom comes, my temporal experience ends, not existence
Seek to know if life is to learn, or to Earth we are cancer
Standing before the host, nothing to lose, eternity to gain
I am here, cloak of flesh surrounding my spirit, revealed
Upon a celestial plane, one I could never earn, I'll remain
In a freezing Baltic Sea, whims of nature provide violence
Different tribes now meet, not for trade but for the tribal feuds
Whether they're Balt, Rus, Finn or Norse the wars never relent
Baltic Sea's so frigid they kill by exposure or something worse
Violent climate, dangerous waters, with tribes over ascendancy
But none can challenge and best the Baltic, it is pure in danger
It never forgives, it never remembers, it simply exists
As all my fears overwhelm my mind
I've no courage yet I still need to find
For my path is one of flesh, not divine
Seek the way of spirit Heaven sublime
My world presents temptation and sin
In emotional starvation and end of time
We suffer damnation, suffering within
Offered no hope, only more chagrin
Alive in a lake of fire, leaves one blind
For I have sipped upon the bitter vines
I need courage to go on, yet I decline
So I believe and hope it is truth
And if it is, I will renew
The days of hope, seem to be measured differently than others
Without hope, a spirit is aimless, without focus and smothered
To have hope is a weapon defeats the enemy and circumstance
For coincidence and malice, either slay by purpose and chance
A world now watches and witness to an example you've become
Your words and flesh as warrior, draw the line beyond oblivion
Your wisdom guides you into battle, and then wars will be won
By your hand, by your heart and by your desire to serve the one
I've been told that Vikings were evil
That they slayed innocents in attacks
Burning down villages for their pleasure
Spreading their brand of malice, mayhem
Without purpose but to kill and steal
But those people do not understand
That they raided, explored, discovered
Because they were amazing, driven
Having grown more mouths to feed
Trade would help but forced to fight
Growing numbers in a marginal land
Meant instead they'd die, a cruel fate
Unless you can travel through time
Convincing the Vikings to migrate
There is no honor judging the past
As nothing was the same, nor easy
Vikings aren't the only false subject
Being judged by knowledge of now
Instead of the easy answers of today
A generation 300 years away will say
How dare we, now, have done it all
We'll be accused of not knowing
Not having trusted the correct source
Or by way of morals, be chastised
Not knowing the difference between
Being forced to act in the moment
Or having the leisure time to decide
From years of sacrifice or disaster
All those deaths by others
Learning so we may not
Ourselves do the same
