Princess Katya

She is the nectar that the gods held for occasions
So important that the world was aware
She is the sound of the angels singing
She is a child's joy at the fair
She is beauty beyond measure
She is uncommon, a being so unusual
Unlike humans
Full of kindness
Full of hope
She is the universe's crown jewel
And no one has existed yet
Worthy of her
She is my heart's love
And I am the one
She shares her life with
I am blessed so deeply
My heart is full

“What greater gift than the love of a cat?”—Charles Dickens

Gift

Humans believe so greatly
In their genius, such vanity
That they forget
That a gift, can also bring a curse
The flame given to humanity
From Prometheus
Caused his being punished
As a traitor
Punished so harshly
Receiving no amnesty
He was broken
We do not, cannot see
That this flame
Is more than fire
It is power
It is ability
It is danger
Humans have not given thought
To the consequences to our benefactor
Nor to our lives
Of use of so dangerous a thing
We use it so very blindly
Never minding
The cost to the body
The toxicity
The dangerous desire
To use it to harm
To rule over all others
We can't see the barbarity
When that power is used
To blackmail others into submission
And if it is used
Come now damnation
Hell upon the earth
This gift can be a curse
The balance requires wisdom
A quality in humans
That is lacking

teacher

In my life I've not forgotten
The way you light the day
With your morning smile
The sweet scent of tomorrow
Falls with the sakura blossoms
Tears of beauty are not to be shamed
For you so innocently beguiled
Me and my heart feel no sorrow
Because you are truly a beacon
Shining in the darkness of life
My heart is the Garden of Eden
You've made healing from strife
You move me beyond my reach
And you've taken me and given
Your love has tried to teach
And I've listened, and I've listened
You claim to not be a healer
But you do not understand
I've been broken in my demeanor
Because I couldn't take a stand
Now my life may not be perfect
But I live with no regrets
I will always find a reason to connect
What you've taught me I will not forget

Storm calls my name

Forgive me I never knew
I never wanted to see
Forgive me, my mind's askew
Thinking I was redeemed
The storm is about to hit
Nowhere to hide from it
Run from the harvest
But I'm asleep in the garden
Refuse to wake, can't move my self
Life story unchosen from the shelf
Where can I go
To find your face
With nothing to show
But need your embrace
Let the rain fall
Let the storm strike
I hear my name called
And the room is dreamlike
The storm never passes
My soul is disturbed
The crisis won't last
The world is absurd
So why wonder
Ever

Don't want to wait forever

There is no solace from the grief
Knowing she will never return
Sorrow and pain are a thief
While the memories burn

When I reach for the phone
Slam it back down knowing
She is gone and I am alone
Aware of the reaping, sowing

I am content in the belief
That there is more in the end
But it brings me no relief
If that is the message being sent

God I have no more in me
To face the fears of the abyss
I gave my all to be redeemed
But until I die, I will twist

It is true, I have nothing left to share
And I am broken, and still grieving
You might listen and not care
As for me, these wounds are bleeding

Broken brush

I don't belong upon this planet
Wounded bleeding and scarred
Burns and breaks in my canvas
The paint brush fallen on the floor
Unleashed are waves of sadness
Life lived without being adored
How can anything matter
When the soul is shaken to the core
With knowledge that life does not forgive
We all die
Decayed within
Empty inside
Full of sin
Needing some cyanide
For my final time

Fertile field

This soul is frozen in winter
My heart's a field
And it won't be plowed
It isn't waiting for the sun
To become green
I am satisfied with my life
So please understand
There is nothing I can avow
I never asked you for your heart
I never asked to be the one
Never wanted this to start
Never wanted to be shunned
Not able to love you now
It is something I can't allow
Nothing can grow
So leave me alone
Let me go
Far away
Au revoir

My love
I will miss you

secret lover

The caravan I was guarding
Was wiped out by Bedouin 
They were invisible before
And when done nothing remained
Two of us survived
My friend was near dead
And in extreme pain
We were captured by horsemen
Who brought us to a camp
Told us we would killed
When the king returned
We'd laid there two days
Without water
Without food
They were deciding what to do
The night was pitch black
She entered the tent without a sound
Laid next to me, upon the carpet
Whispered in my ear
That I should stay silent
Or the guards would come in
And see her freeing me
And slay us both
She quickly removed the rope
Unlocked the chain
Around my neck
I was free to escape
If I was willing to dare
But something made me pause
I was not interested in leaving there
No, something held me back
It wasn't the danger
Nor fear
It was something
I should be ashamed of
But I am not
In the darkness her eyes were liquid
Beautiful and bright
Her gossamer silk
Her jewelry
And perfumes
Her form
Shined like the brightest lights
I became hers
There in the tent of my enemies
Where I had a choice to live
Or die in love
I stayed
For lifetime's pleasure
In a camp guarding the king's treasure
There after loyal to him
For his daughter was now my queen
Secret lover
Her name was hidden
Deep in her soul

Freefall

Am in total freefall
My heart knows it'll crash
Upon hitting the ground
You know why
Yes you do
You watched
Didn't make a sound
As I was broken
For his pleasure
So wrong, so wrong
One slap led to another
Each across my face
I'm fleeing the mayhem
Don't wonder why I'm gone
I don't blame you for not stepping in
No one is owed your courage
But then again
I can't still be your friend
In your presence
My heart becomes malnourished
Pouring out enough for two
Means I haven't enough
So I bid you adieu

Silence broken in Egypt by the cries

It is the moment of absolute terror
That one cannot plan to experience
When the angel of death appears
Carrying a sword unique to this bearer
It hovers above the cradle, form ethereal
The child stares up in fear

And in that moment
The child is silent
Because death is fast
There is no torment
All is quiet
The die is cast

And a great howl of sorrow
Rose that night in Egypt
For the dead were children
First born and beloved
Thereafter they have no tomorrow
The threat was not secret
The threat was not hidden
The final plague was begun

5 and all the firstborn in the land of Egypt shall die, from the firstborn of the Pharaoh who sits on his throne, even to the firstborn of the slave girl who is behind the millstones; all the firstborn of the cattle as well. 6  Moreover, there shall be a great cry in all the land of Egypt, such as there has not been before and such as shall never be again.  Exodus 11:5,6

Frontiers of an Empire

It has existed
Ab aeterno
It has ruled
Absolutum dominium
It has a reach
Going from Europe
To Asia and the Levant
We are bees serving the queen
Every hive added to the hive mind
We ride along the frontiers
Knowing our acts might provoke
A response from the Gauls
Our actions are just, however
By them the empire grows
We are paid well
Cum gladio et sale
Serving the homeland
Serving the emperor
We are his arms
We are his hands
My life for the emperor
Vivere militare est

For Varus, AD 09

We marched into death
We lost our lives for Varus
His incompetence
Slaughtered us

The forest was occupied
By the living shadows
They attacked
Germania arose

We were there for Rome
But could do nothing
For we had no idea
Their fury was crushing

Varus was a fool
But I was one greater
For I followed him
I failed my creator

Now my ghost is pale
The winds blow endlessly
And my form is of the veil
We mistook our enemy

For it was Varus we died
It was for conquest we died
It was for Empire we died
But we never were able to live

Our duty to Rome paid
Never seeing our family again
Our flesh in Germania remained
But our children would not forgive

Our absence 

We are Wolves of the Sea

Our fury
Led others to think
We were bestial
Perhaps they were correct
We had caught the scent
The enemy was near
When we would find them
We would kill them
Their town would be pillaged
Yes, we are wolves
We longed to taste of the enemy
We rode upon the back of dragons
Soon we'd feed upon the flesh
Of the keepers of the temple
Slay their servile villagers
Yes, we were wolves
We were beasts
We flew across the surface
Along the coast of the southern sea
Our Drake Fartyg floated
As if lighter than the water beneath
The sails were pulled down
The morning mist gilded the sun
Some prayed, some oiled their swords
And the blades of our axes
The oars were used to pull us forward
Quietly, we entered the river mouth
Silently, we didn't say a word
We worked our way inland
Still undetected, still silent
We arrived at the beach near the town
Without having stirred any disturbance
We leaped off the ship
Pulled it up nearest to land
Sprinted across the rocks and sand
Wherever there were men in armor
We slew them before they could speak
Not one screamed
Not one made a sound
They'd now bled out
Making the beach
A sort of sacred ground
We move across the city
Burning what could burn
Killing what could move
Gathering what we might need
Or what we'd bring to our home
North of there
Across the sea

No pride in man made things

Dear Lord
Sweet Savior
Your mercy I do not deserve
And your grace is why I serve
Your beauty is why I weep
I listen deep calling unto deep
God I am yours
And have been since time began
Your name I've known
You are all of who I am

"Jesus is the Lion of Judah and the Lamb of God – He was lionhearted and lamb-like, strong and meek, tough and tender, aggressive and responsive, bold and brokenhearted. He sets the pattern for manhood." Revelations 5:5

Full Sacrifice

I gave my life
In exchange
For forgiveness
I used my sword
To protect
Pilgrims
I wore the cross
To display
My repentance
And my life
Is not lost
But found

artifacts of modern empires

Erecting statue monoliths
To the glory of our species
So that none will ever doubt
Our claim to greatness
That is where the lie speaks
It's undistinguished filth
A massive attempt of hubris
With the famine and drought
Left behind by modernity
None will miss it
None will stare in amazement
Seeing the artifacts of existence
Of a non existent people

My fairest love

Never have I carried a banner
For a love I didn't foster
Never have I lost a joust
With that love burning
I hold you deep in my amour
In joust as well as battle and slaughter
Never can this fire be doused

My lady has not requited my love
But my will is greater
My heart is covered in armor
But she is my beloved
Deeply I long for her favor
This love will make me a martyr

Symptoms

We are not the victims of our actions
We are a disease, and life is the symptoms
Cloning bodies for parts to harvest
Building robots to do our labor
Artificial lives replacing our own
They are artifacts of our existence
Soon humans will be washed from the system
Our perceptions of existence are twisted
Laziness, cynicism, fear, and sorrow
Pave the way through our world

Surrendering our sovereignty
We refuse to be our own masters
Because that might be difficult
And we seek the ease of freedom
Our lives are temporary, will not last
Asleep in our flesh, our indolence
Becomes our beacon
Our species by its own hand castrated
We longed for perfection
An utopic world
But instead
A dystopia
Is what we created

The Knot

In Gordium, a city of ancient Phrygia
Home to ancient king Midas
Now kingless, and without direction
The dystopia had turned Stygian
With the future hopes turned idle
A disturbing future, upon reflection

The Gordian knot was offered
As a solution for whoever solving
Would be worthy of leadership
The solution would bring honor
Acknowledgement of the new king
And the mind needed for kingship

Great Alexander of Macedonia
Was invited to solve the mystery
The entangled and impossible Gordian knot
Should a person be able to decipher it
Would be worthy of the throne
And would create a utopia
Alexander was a man of victory
And of battles previously fought
With this knot he sought to solve it
His battle wits would answer, would atone

He became frustrated
While a strategic and tactical genius
His mind was suited for battle
Less the maze or capricious options
He became irritated
Quickly answering the thesis
With his sword slashing open the riddle
Slicing the knot into two portions

But more than kingship
Was Alexander destined
But of empire
And future memory
And legend

Beyond my reach

I've visited times ancient
Flown through the ether
Saw the birth of new planets
And the death of great stars
My spirit has never died
And my flesh has been birthed
Millions of times, millions of lives
And I still wonder
Still am amazed
By the beauty in your eyes
By the glories of your smile
For you are unique
In a world of clones
You are one who stopped time
For the universe to stop and look
And I am so broken to know
You are beyond my reach
For I am fading
While you
Are ascendant

Dolly 1, 2, 3 infinity

Unraveling the ribbons of information
We lose our identities, and our individuality
With gene ablation, and raw castration
We lose our humanity and despair
We enter insanity
From our herding
We are no longer wild
Our souls are tamed
We no longer need our personhood
Nor do we need individual names
Cultivated and harvested for parts
Organs are not needed by those
Without brains
Soon we will be outnumbered
By the clones of our flesh
And by the machines
Who prefer our slumber
So that the organics dwindle
And the manufactured
Prosper
Forever after

Victory or Defeat

Victory or defeat
We must fight
Our self esteem sacrifices
More than the Greeks versus the Persians
We weave a web of self deceit
Fooling no one but ourselves
Creating a hundred different versions
Of the book of lies
Our agonies played out so very indiscreet
We fight to win
We fight to survive
We are called to do so
Live or die
The battle is complete

Last Wish

I say this without hope
Anyone will agree
After years of struggle
I became the disease
That gnawed
And stole my breath
I am sorry
If asking is a sin
But God I beg you
Let me be released
From this cold cage
Covered in skin
God I pray you hear
This prayer of unease
I hate to beg please
But I can't go on
Without your answer
I walked into the darkness
With you at my side
Guiding my way
But I've become the cancer
And I can not do this
On my own
I beg you please
Release my body
Please ascend my soul
I am broken
And I bloodied
But take me now
And take me whole
God I beseech you
Please release me
I give you all control
And close my eyes
One last time
Let my flesh pass
And let there be death
I am ready
There is nothing left

Clay, Dust, Meat and Spark

Our sleep is filled with dreams
But our waking hours are
Nightmares
Filled with visions
We are the children
Of the past decisions
Of our parents flesh prisons
In the middle of our living
We come to know what the cost will be
Unaware if it is the end or the beginning
We wander along freely
Not knowing where we are
The world makes us pay
Bleeding
Unforgiving
We work hard not to hate
But our lives are dust
And meat
With no hope
Or legacy

Proof of Existence

I know very little
Since so much is far beyond
I am not a genius
So I try just to carry on
But
This, this
Is my proof God exists
He showed me love so true
Now I know
I am loved
I am changed
Because of you
By loving me
I am redeemed
My fears fell away
God gave me love
So divine
When I learned upon the day
I would be a parent
Now
I can believe in joy
You took me in your heart
And blessed me with our boy
Removed all of my shame
Removed my isolation
You gave me love
Banished my damnation
You set me free
From everything

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."  The Book of  Jeremiah 1:5

spiral staircase in the stars

Walking up a spiral staircase in the stars
Leads me nowhere but home
No directions I need to take
So long as I look forward
Instead of loving the past and our scars
When I hold onto hurt and live alone
Stare into the void and start to shake
Best not to harvest from sorrow's orchard
The future is not a promise but the past is a lie
Walk in the light
Make a vow to live
Never surrender to the voices
That make you choose to die

Look

Look into my eyes, you'll gaze into my soul
Place your lips upon mine, inhale my spirit inside
I long to know more about you
I long to know your secret name
Woven into your soul and your mind
Your secret looks will be understood
Our nuances and breath
Can be secrets between us assured
I want to see you smile
A smile that speaks only to me
I want to hold your body
And know that you know
The language of love I speak
Only spoken by you and me
Look into my eyes
And you'll see
A secret I will keep
Unbroken
That only you will know
I saved it for this time
Only this time

hatching

These tears are a flood
Broken I bleed
Drain the blood
Ignore the pain
Take the vein
Cleave
Suck the poison out
Time is short
I grieve
Too much
My life in doubt
Time to abort
Abort
This life prejudged
Let them all see
And let them watch me
BURN

Not of this world

The way of the world
Is to use until there is nothing left
In that aspect of my being
I have been quite inept
But in other ways of the world
I've been the one
Aimed at with contempt
And that is ok
I am unaware
Unkempt
Bereft
I can't help it
I don't care
I'm not desperate
I am me
No one else has that disability
Only me
Please believe
I am free
No conformist regrets
After I am gone
Everyone will forget
That guy who was mentally wrong

I kissed a ghost

In the morning I walked in the garden
Wet with due, golden in the morning sun
My spirit was weary, my heart had hardened

Despite the glories of nature's brilliance
I'd lost hope long before, my lover had passed
My mind entered into reminiscence

I saw her in my memory's eye
Her beauty glorious and striking
In the garden's reflection I cried

Her form was near me and alive
My hands reached out for her lips
She was there and I kissed my wife

My kiss was real but she was a spirit
And my body was composed of flesh
I touched her hair and her eyes were vivid

But I had kissed only a ghost
Created by my memory
But we had been so close

Her lips reminded me of our past
And it gave me hope for the future
Because I'd join her someday
The flesh never lasts

Welcome Home

I heard your footsteps long down the road
My eyes couldn't focus for the salt and tears
I held on to my heart like a holy chalice
It renewed
Renewed
My soul unchained I so missed you
Never felt this kind of pain before you left
I confused your presence with being happy
In your absence my world crashed
I knew that you were the difference
Between my happiness and sorrow
Welcome home
I truly don't understand myself
But I understand that I hated you being gone
I can accept being alone
But I can't accept being without you
I know the difference between love and friends
And my heart died
When I thought it was the end
Welcome homeWelcome home
I am so happy
To be with you in our home again