so cold in this tomb

My arms reach out
There is no doubt
I scream, I shout
But I am enslaved

Every single moment
I writhe in the torment
Of the torrents
Trapped in my chains

I've burned every tomorrow
Bleeding the sorrow
I lay deep in the barrow
My sins to blame

This countenance I abhor
My soul became a whore
By the vicious terror
Of shame

Within this coffin
There is no escape
Only pain
My bluish flesh
So cold
Trapped in this tomb
Unmoving
Broken
Awaiting fate
Victory over death
God will redeem my soul
Soon
Someday soon

Dawn over the Colosseum

Making war for the pleasure

Of the leisured class

The plutocrats

The warriors were well trained

Never enemies

Just professionals of combat

Dying too soon to leave legacies

Paid in food, and in promises 

Never forming families

But brothers in arms

From across the Mediterranean

And the far reaches

Of the empire

These were men

Who had only one hope

To survive their employment

Unable to decline their labor

Their training and physical abilities
Their lethal arms and agility
Made them dangerous
So dangerous

But slaughter paid so very little

And soon enough those trained would rise

And use their skills

Against their owners

Fighting to be free
To one day see
The sun rise
Over the Mediterranean

Living to die

My body fails me
My mind is lost
To the mist

My spirit will betray me
Life has a cost
Paid with Azrael's kiss

Echoes of my childhood
Pockets of memory screaming
I know I am doomed
No use in grieving

I am unable to dam the flood
No hope for those downstream
None have innocent blood
We are our own demon

"For certain is death for the born
And certain is birth for the dead;
Therefore over the inevitable
Thou shouldst not grieve."

Bhagavad Gita

shameful sacrifice

Without love, I am not real
I am a thought, a presence surreal
A fool, without worth
An idiot, a curse
I am the plague of sorrow
I am the one who killed tomorrow
My feet follow a path, grieving
In the garden of shame
I am bleeding
I hear someone call my name
I turn around, not believing
I cannot bare my fraud
To the world, I betrayed
I linger in my flaws
Until I die, the world decays
I am the harbinger
Of the dying days

An Old man now

Youth ever flees
My dreams are not gone but I can't sleep
Nightmares crowd my sleeping mind
I can't close my eyes for the secrets I keep
I've been hurt for so long

The world is different than when I was younger
I am so tired and it's too late
My Passion no longer burns, I can't fight forever
I have no hunger for things I'll never have

It doesn't matter, time is the master
I can't change the world or change myself
I am unwilling to go on so long after it is gone
I can't keep trying but my memories are lost
I can't do more you know
There is simply too much cost

Soon my flesh will pass
And my time will end
But I am able to smile
Nothing lasts
And I refuse to be in denial

frozen in fear

Drawing a final breath
My soul bereft
Tears fall
I cannot explain myself
I'm useless, as usual
Blame me as you like
I deserve everything
I can't go on, I am gone
There is nothing left
My soul is broken
My body screams
It has been so long
So very wrong
My mind is bleeding
I am lost
And will never
Ever
Return

Death is fair

From the top to the bottom
Death will accept us
Not a rich man escapes
Not a powerful woman is freed
No one is immune
From the end of our flesh

The Fall of Camelot

I found Him in the shining of the stars,I marked Him in the flowering of His fields,
But in His ways with men I find Him not.
I waged His wars, and now I pass and die.

Idylls of the King (1856–1885) by Alfred, Lord Tennyson

In my mother's womb I knew and understood.  A destiny waited for me.  I would become king.  My father Uther was a warrior and of his deeds others sing.  However,  being an able warrior is but a small portion of the duties of the monarch.

Merlyn taught me to seek justice, to earn the trust of the people of the land.  I had to understand that wisdom, love and courage are the traits necessary to be king.  I had to seek truth, be courageous, be generous in love.  I was called to become more than a man, to lead our people. 

But we were in a dark age, not one people, but many different tribes unwilling to find unity.  The land was mine to protect.  With the people I sought to inspire joy.  I was taught to live and to fight, with honor.

The consequence of my decisions have caused my kingdom to die.  I allowed my heart to hold grievances, to begrudge others their success.  I allowed my flesh to yearn for others, and to ignore my own Queen.

The walls of Camelot fallen. The tipped over towers no longer reach towards the sky.  Yes I was mistaken, I had believed that this kingdom would ever be.  But lust yearns in me. By far stronger than the code I was taught.

I will die
Camelot will bleed
But I will return
My heart burning
Because Merlyn told me
Only the future
Will redeem me

Isolation

Hands tied with razor wire
I struggle to escape the punishment
I've lived a life as a simple man
But I know I am a liar
Bleeding wrists seals the covenant
I am wretched, not fit for a garbage can
Between Heaven and Hell
I am dust, floating
Dying, praying, fearing
Locked alone in a cell
Bleeding, screaming, choking
The enemy closing, nearing
My body rots in silence
My soul flees in the dark
My deeds are sand through fingers
My dreams die disquieted
Life's torture has left me marked
Despite my shame my soul lingers 
By kneeling
Submitting
Seeking
Admitting
God I am dirty
I bleed out sins knowing
Water can't clean me
I beg for your mercy
Undeserving, crying, broken
Your grace covers everything

empty cup

She said
I would never know
How to love her
But that wasn't really true
I can love anyone
With most things I am unsure
With anything but love
My view remains askew
So like an ocean tide
Without a shore
Loves remains unfulfilled 
So I told her, slowly, deliberately
I am able but you aren't willing
For union two must agree
Or it will be one
Serving and filling
The cup of the other
Asking for more
More
More
Without response
Without intimacy
My cup is empty
However much
I am willing to pour

The Flood, The Fire

When the end beckons
It does not matter if you believe
When the end is triggered
There will be a reckoning
Few will escape
For we have earned
The eternal's wrath
As death approaches
He will reap
The concept of time
Becomes hubris
No human power
The final toll is chimed
And we are naive
To the events as they happen
Until it is too late
To act
The waves of horror
Kill most of us
The angel of Death
Is reaping a harvest
No more innocents
That will be born
No innocent blood
The bell chimes
The ferryman dips his oar
To guide the boat
Through the Styx
Driving us to Tartarus
No one will stop the flood
No action or response
Will save us
You cannot flee
There is nowhere to run
No one knows the hour
The human existence
Will be destroyed
By the hand of the one
Who pulls the Trigger

Despair

This dying earth
Our flesh fails
Each breath a curse
Upside down world
But it will end
When the last
Become first
And the king returns
Don't turn away
She still hungers
Her burning thirst
Is unquenchable 
The poor will always be with us
So how can you help
To give them justice
There is no one else
There is no other time
Pleasures lure
Things only get worse
So live for today
When you could instead
Do something
Give other humans
A sense of worth
Saves lives
Or turn away
Either way
She hungers still
Burning hunger inside
She doesn't turn away
But she knows
You want to leave her
She is one of billions
Who will help her?
If not you
If not now
Give a voice
To the voiceless
Give a choice
To the choiceless

Bible John 21:17 ►
New International Version

"The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my sheep."

FEED MY STARVING CHILDREN

Prostrate before the greatest one

When you condescend to speak to me
When you choose to allow me to reply
When refusing to ignore my flawed being
I am torn from hope and contemplate suicide

Yours is the throne I lay before
I bow before your dais
Wanting only
To love you more

Your empire is far beyond my imagination
So great it is impossible to measure
Standing next to you would be salvation 
I try to be what you treasure

Freed from exile, Lord  you are great
My heart is free to heal
My honor, my hope, my redemption
Have all been allowed to become real

Only in your presence
My great king
Only from your grace
Do we sing

When I still had flesh

Because I was a child
With no knowledge
Or wisdom
I conformed to society
I burned for pleasure
Treasure and more
I was blinded by the world
Despite having perfect vision
Believing in the world's offerings
I thought I had salvation
I wanted to be judged
As being without guilt
I was a fool and coward
Not afraid of oblivion
But that isn't damnation
On the banks of the Styx
Watching the boatsman
In Stygian darkness
Into nothing I stare
The black void
Fills my soul
As the boatsman comes for me
My spirit dead
My life is gone
And my soul despairs
There was terror
Upon my epiphany
That Hell's fires wait for me
And that my being
Isn't made of permanence
I have danced in the face of death
Never realizing
My error
And now
In the Eternal's presence
I have no voice
My words spilled
With my last breath
When I still had flesh

Unfree

We are all confused
Completely deceived
I am unfree
The idiot league
Challenges me
Surrounded by everyone
A foolish court of advisors
Telling me what to do
They are choking me
Until my face is blue
I can't breathe
I'd rather die
Than to fight this
Without a reason why
But it goes on
Without end
I am waiting
Until the message
I want to give
Is finally sent

ancient friend

With us since memory
Our earliest fears
Death came from plague
In waves of terror
And an abundance of tears

Since humanity has existed
The plague has resisted
Every effort to kill it
Children, elderly and adults
Are killed without any justice

It is mindless, yet sadistic
Our lives become twisted
Fear makes us incoherent
We form some kind of cult
While plague slays us

“In the arts of life man invents nothing; but in the arts of death he outdoes Nature herself, and produces by chemistry and machinery all the slaughter of plague, pestilence, and famine”

George Bernard Shaw

Hades' Realm

In the Greek Myths
There were gods and heroes
And they could venture to Hell
They could find their lost loves
Or speak to lost foes
It was a domain of the dead
But it was not permanent
Hades could be moved
To free the residents
Of his land
Odysseus of the war in Troy
Visited the realm
And spoke to the ghosts
Of lost heroes
Heracles was one
Killing Cerberus the three head dog
Lost souls from old men to boys
Women to girls
Waiting and asleep
Ready to be redeemed
Orpheus ventured there
To rescue his love
Eurydice
A daughter of Apollo
With sweet song Hades said yes
But Orpheus broke the rules
And she was lost forever to him
But today Hades is made of fire
To punish
To destroy
Oblivion
Calls

Fists Raised

Wear the mask of truth
Never turn away
People have become blinded
With trust
For those who deserve none
We've stared into the sun
As our world burns
Instead, become the voice
For those who cannot speak
Become the eyes
For those who cannot see
Refuses to bow
Tell the people
There is no one
Who deserves more
Than another
Become blind to fear
Do not become blinded
To the suffering
There is no proof
Only promises
Give no voice to doubt
The resistance has begun
There is only now
There is only you
If one acts against the machine
That chews us all apart
Fight the power
Remove the covers
Blinding your eyes
Now is the hour

Abandoned and Insane

Lost in the system
My days never end
I am drugged and silenced
And the corridors ring
With the quiet
Ball gags keep us voiceless
I am wrapped with my jacket
Arms tied to keep me safe
They fear me
And say I am violent
But I've never been
Except in my mind
To my self
To escape this place
But they keep me here
In their asylum
The walls scream
I am broken
By them

I am lost

How many times must I break
My body, my brain, my soul
Shattered like a mirror
Struck by a brick
My heart driven by a stake
My sufferings you extol
Suffering is a reign of terror
I have become a lunatic

The Final Watchman

There's nothing but pain
I have nothing to offer
My stripes won't heal
My fears all smother
My body is broken
My dreams have died
I am a story unspoken
I am a dead man still alive
Let this world collapse
Let your will be done
No chance or circumstance
The end is begun
As the demons advance
I am the last
But I will not fall
I am dead yet living
I have answered the call






“If people bring so much courage to this world, the world has to kill them to break them, so of course it kills them. The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry.” Ernest Hemingway

“No destiny attacks us from outside. But, within him, man bears his fate and there comes a moment when he knows himself vulnerable; and then, as in a vertigo, blunder upon blunder lures him.”  Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Space Nightmare

Like a fetus in the womb
The chord feeds me
Oxygen for my lungs
Keeping me alive
I'll be in orbit in this tomb
So long as I exist
Watching the nova sun
Until long after I die

Covered by my suit
I became an artifact
Failed to execute
The plan of attack

By a tether I am floating
Into the ethers I am
With a cord I connect
To the mothership
Orbit corroding
Dying programme
Home world distressed
Flawed computer chips

Endings

I have never been hurt
Like I was then
And my soul is grieved
With pain
A dead man's concert
Sorrow speaks amen
Inhale slowly, just breathe
I can't take this again

The way is clear
Shall I run to the end
Where fear meets confirmation
I see only the fields of Elysium
The horizon draws near
I long to transcend
To escape damnation
The vacuum of oblivion

Seeds of the Future

Fallen heroes offer society a gift
Of sacrifice for the next generation
Or an example of heroism
For the people
To realize what could be lost
If there was no act

The lost have become
A chorus of the fallen
Reminding us
Of who we can be
Seeds of the future
Are often unseen
For the powerful potential
They possess

Those who have entered
The Elysian fields
Are offered solace
For the weary who walk
The narrow path of truth

A Roman centurion walked, long ago
Walked through tall grass
Touching the grains
Of wheat
Touching the seeds
With his hands
Seeing the future generations
That the seeds will bring
He hears voices
Of the heroes fallen

The chorus of the past
Sending hope
By singing
To remind us all
The consequences
Should we fall
The harvest will be harsh
Memories of the living
Harvested for
Dreams of the past

prophet's view

Sometimes I close my eyes
Open my mind
And dream of the burning future
I am aware of the vacuum
Between hope and oblivion
The shooting of rioters and looters
Devastation and doom
Before crossing a blood meridian
A line that to cross
Means we can never return
To peace, to society
There is no safe place
All of our dreams lost
As our cities burn
Where violence and theft embrace
Stealing all of our dreams
Condemning our children
All future generations
And all of our hopes
As civilization
Enters twilight sleep

Matthew 24:29-31

"But immediately after the tribulation of those days THE SUN WILL BE DARKENED, AND THE MOON WILL NOT GIVE ITS LIGHT, AND THE STARS WILL FALL from the sky, and the powers of the heavens will be shaken. "And then the sign of the Son of Man will appear in the sky, and then all the tribes of the earth will mourn, and they will see the SON OF MAN COMING ON THE CLOUDS OF THE SKY with power and great glory. "And He will send forth His angels with A GREAT TRUMPET and THEY WILL GATHER TOGETHER His elect from the four winds, from one end of the sky to the other.

how long will I wait

I was destroyed acting in your name
Long waiting for recovery
Suffering disaster
Little I could do except wait
How many times did I ask
Never once receiving an answer
How many tasks did I perform, sans anger
For your pleasure
To build your treasure
To set before your throne
In the meantime
I waited in oblivion's waste
But only received cancer
All alone
Starved of love
To the bones
I burned
With pains of hunger
Without rancor
I waited in the waste
Alone
40 days without hope
Did I starve, did I suffer thirst in vain?
Are they the journey?

Dragon Ships Away

Our mighty dragon
Carries us over the ocean
The prow of our ship
Cuts through the waves
We live with passion
We are Odin's chosen
His word is in our hearts knit
Life is short, long is the grave
So let us live like fire burns
Like shark tears flesh
For conquest
Our hearts yearn
Odin's children
Living for the moment
We are his own
Refusing to die
Called home
Should we reach Valhalla
Unearned

Black Sails, Poisoned Arrows

After it was begun
We were forced
To learn fear and despair
When the tides of the ocean
Brought black sailed vessels
Filled with wild men
Who were born to fight
To become one with warfare
We saw our warriors die
They used poisoned arrows
They fought without honor
We were undone after they came
After the invasion had come
Kublai Khan was powerful
Khan of the steppes
His riders were evil
The Devil's Horsemen
They were called
We were fighting
To defend our land and kin
We learned who was mighty
Not the sailors of China
The builders of Korea
Nor the Devil's Horsemen
Our numbers thinned
We had no hope
But we had one last weapon
It was called prayer
Mighty was our god
Who destroyed the fleets
Of black sailed ships
And they were shattered
And we were saved
By the mighty and Divine wind

Future Fail

It was a personal tragedy
An unearthly catastrophe
Bound up in our fears
The ancient world mirrored
Our lives model blasphemy
Any hopes the casualties
We are lost to the mists
Our existence is never missed
For the future's will is unbending
The time comes soon
For an ending

Artifacts of Existence

Time wears away
Our very resistance
We fall in the embrace
Of our decay
Our bones are the artifacts
Of this existence
The next wave
Will never replace
Our legacies
Our dreams
Our ways
As our civilization fades
The temples where we worship
Burn
And our bones are scattered
And crows dance
Upon our ashes

melt like wet clay

like it is woven
inside my mind
I can never forget
your kiss upon my lips
compliments the scent
Upon the wind
I catch when you are gone
you never walk
without the gaze
of the gods
and all of the men
who catch sight of you
become soft clay
that melts in the haze
of your aura
I am tattered threads
after being
in your sway
who can I call to
if you are not there
too busy, I guess
answering the many gentlemen
who seek your gift
but they will fade
in time
I am certain
and I remain
in your orbit
even should I disappear
or fail
to appear
when you call