Sunday, January 31, 2016

Holding his bleeding head

In a fit of rage
I reached out
And struck him
I am in a cage
Of flaming doubt
And raging sin
How can I stop myself
I can't be here like this
With nothing left
In my self created abyss
My sanity is cracked
Who am I
Why did I act
When did I change
I did something I can't take back
And I am left
In my darkness
Of my own design
My soul ransacked
By my demons
Let loose
And my chains
Tighten
Hell is endless


Saturday, January 30, 2016

Across the top of the world, they strode













They were unique
Forged by their environment
Without fear of any enemies
They flew across the seas
With absolute mastery
Took what they wanted
Landing their dragon ships
Raged forward with
A horrific visage
Broadswords and axes
Left behind burning villages
Made certain their own survival
Becoming the apex predator
Through battle and pillage
The world around them
Tried to understand
What was going on
Without success
There was a message
Being delivered
We will not go away
We will not be turned away
Until the world is ours
Until we are completely slain

















Read more about the wildmen of the North
In The Ravens of Odin by Ed Quinby and Alex Ness













Friday, January 29, 2016

Boudica's Revenge


In an age of Roman expansion
The king of the Iceni tribe died
And what had been promised
To him in life
Was stolen away
Soon after his death
His daughters were raped
His wife tortured
And his tribe placed into subjugation
Die free, or live in slavery
The choice was clear
And Queen Boudica led a revolt
To send a message
To the invader Romans
That the Iceni and other Britons
Would not flee or surrender
They were defending their home
Boudica went into battle
Driving her people into frenzy
Burning Camulodunum
Destroying Londinium,
Destroying Verulamium
The Romans sent the IX Legion
To quell the rebellion
And the professional troops
Did indeed succeed
But that same Legion IX disappeared
100 years later
Still bleeding and in disorder
From the battles before

READ in detail the story of
Boudica and the Romans versus the Celts
in SACRED GROUND  by Ed Quinby and Alex Ness

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Protector of his Keep

He always wished to be
The protector of his keep
His domain was his passion
And yet he was tired
But
Even should he sleep
Beautiful velvet dreams
Could never satisfy
The Dragon
He'd rather defeat the enemy
Kill every assassin
But he slept
Deep in the black thick forest
The faeries of the wood
Shared with butterflies
The wonder of the beauty
Of such a wild, untamed place
Could be summed up
With the look upon
The dragon's face
When he saw the joy
Of the dance
At midnight
In the moonlight
By the faeries and their kin

“Beware the sleeping dragon. For when she awakes the Earth will shake."

Winston Churchill



I wrote a book about Faeries
Find it HERE


Wednesday, January 27, 2016

When the solitude strikes

I cannot exist
Alone again
My eyes refuse to see
the scenes of pain
I am unable to resist
In the wind I am hanging
My feet and arms dangle
Like a mad man in a fit
I turn and twist
With every breeze
Blowing my body about
There is nothing left
Except
My body be cut down
From the tree
Come noose
Begin the harvest
Let the noose fit only me
Let loose the Apocalypse
I embrace it
Dive into the abyss
Ready for my darkness


Tuesday, January 26, 2016

The Black Smoke Never Stopped

The beast has a hunger
An appetite for the innocent
There must be a feast
For its sucklings to grow
The chosen are gathered
They have been scorned
Torn from their homes
They are slaughtered
Bodies torn, crushed lives
But there is no pyre
This is no sacrifice
This is annihilation
The beast never stops
His hunger never ends
With ovens then
The dead are burned
Completely consumed
The fires never stop
The ovens are fed
They never end
With black smoke rising
The morning isn't coming soon
The crows refuse to caw
For the end is found
Only by dying
The beast still hungers
New trains come in
Emptying the chosen
For slaughter
To feed the fires again



Monday, January 25, 2016

Ashes of the Fallen


Into a very different form of hell the Jews were sent
Being a world where values and morals were bent
The Nazis were bearers of the crooked cross
Christ's blood for them would be a waste, and lost
As the forms of the now dead victims bodies
Are crammed into ovens in great numbers to burn hotly
The sun is blocked from the ashes rising
What humans cannot see, is this isn't humanity dying
It is the altar of sacrifice to the Anti-Christ
Who then grows in power, but not righteousness
This is the first of the final days
The four horsemen will cross through the haze
Of strewn and falling Ash
The world survives but cannot last




Sunday, January 24, 2016

Filled with fear


They hunt me down
I am
Uniquely filled with fear
And scarred and impure
I can't move on
They have many ways to learn
They'll find out
That I live in fear of the world
Finding out that I
Am naive, I still believe
In love and kindness
That every birth means
We might find the answer
With the genius
Of these boys and girls

Saturday, January 23, 2016

I couldn't answer

I am so sorry
I couldn't answer 
Not that question
It ripped me open
I always worry
You won't love me
If you knew
And now
I fulfilled that prediction
By not giving you
A chance to judge
By refusing to answer
It burns
Like cancer
Like kerosene
Bathing flames
Across my raw skin
Now I am lower
Than shit or dirt
I am sacrificed
Again
For all of my sins
I deserve it
But still
It hurts
You know it does
I can't give in
Or I will
Revert
To my original state
That of 
Inconsequential 
Unrequitted 
Hate


Friday, January 22, 2016

Soar with me!

My soul grants consent
For you to take my hand
Join me in forever
Where we can be
Together
I dreamed I saw you
Before we ever met
You were heaven sent
All I wished for
When I met you in this life
I no longer had to seek you
In my sleep and dreams
I awoke to your call
You are amazing
More beautiful
Than I've ever dreamt
I felt your presence
As you walked in the room
I immediately picked up
Your chosen scent
Orange blossoms
So much sexier
Than any perfume
My heart beats in ascent
Soon I will be flying
My body feels electric
Let us have one heart
Between us
Your eyes are so blue
So majestic
I want you to take me
So far from here
Let us soar, soar together
Our destination is anywhere
So long as you are near

Thursday, January 21, 2016

Pride's glare

It seems we never speak aloud
Words we keep inside our mouths
But our heart is fully aware
That truth is a field as yet unplowed
Sorrow inside us becomes a land of drought
Eyes blinded by pride and the inside fire's glare
We burn in our choices
And lose our voices
We are lost
And burn 



Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Death Rider

Death arrives upon a horse
To kiss the soon to be dead
One might try
To live a good life
One might hope
To never die
But death will happen
So who is ready to ride?


Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Follow you

I follow you to the place
We might embrace
I long to touch your lips
I desire one kiss
You are the glory of existence
You destroyed my resistance
Be mine
Please
Be mine

Monday, January 18, 2016

wasted


"In vino veritas."  Plato

We send our youth to war
For our imperial designs
They return broken
Their wounds unrecognized
Their sorrows unspoken
We as much take the gift from the vine
The finest vintage year
The most prized creation
And pour it out 
Upon the floor
Ridding ourselves
Of the finest vintage
The abomination is
We've wasted it
Treated it with foolishness
The most cherished wine
Ignored, untasted
The chosen generation
Broken and wasted



In wine there is truth
Let us not waste that truth



Sunday, January 17, 2016

Alpha and Omega

Upon a beautiful blue planet
Covered in water, oxygen and flora
A species called human
Has become the apex predator
They've risen after competing
Many thousands of years
With violent enemies
Also with each other
Until the brightest minds
Of their tribes understood
They had to join together
To survive

They are a mixed lot
This human species
Some are massive, strong
Covered in muscle and skin
Some are weak, small
But also they are bright and clever
Few are born to become the alpha
But to just to have been born
Makes a human powerful
Humans dominate their environment
Even those living in harmony there
Alive in this physical form

Covered in flesh, protected by bone
Gifted with memory, language
And culture
Rise above the tribal limits
And the individuals of their kind
They lead the way
Sometimes falling
Sometimes rising
Most often moving forward
Despite their many flaws
Due to inertia
Momentum and luck

This species ignores entropy
They rise above their worst moments
Because they possess talents
Believing that they own their destiny
Thus transcend their past and present
To control the future
With certainty
To be the apex predator
The alpha
Endlessly

“Everything is determined, the beginning as well as the end, by forces over which we have no control. It is determined for the insect, as well as for the star. Human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible piper.”
― Albert Einstein






Saturday, January 16, 2016

Despite knowing

Despite knowing
The world would burn
How many knew 
Still refused to turn
How many cried yet refused 
To call out his name
How many fled still 
When the Horsemen came
Yet, they came near me
They were near
And I heard them
It was easy to hear
Their hooves 
Strike the sky
Thunder crashes
So many die
The abyss awaits
And the abyss is deep
The final harvest had begun
And the world is asleep
The reaper had let the blade fall
There are no secrets left to keep 
Let the end come
As reaper reaps

















"I looked, and there before me was a pale horse! 
Its rider was named Death, and Hades was following 
close behind him. They were given power over a 
fourth of the earth to kill by sword, famine and plague, 
and by the wild beasts of the earth."

Revelation 6:8       The Holy Bible


Friday, January 15, 2016

Because I knew you

I breathe in
And know inside
I am redeemed 
I have told you that I loved you
With every moment I live
My heart beats the rhythm
Of my love song written
For you, since I've been forgiven
My hands dirty with my own sin
My soul covered in your blood
Forgiven within
I am ready
Because I knew you
Inside my heart


Thursday, January 14, 2016

Pestilence: White Horse and Rider

They were called into being
The seal was broken and the trumpets blew
A white horse of evident power rode
And his rider bore a powerful bow
Horse and rider were agile, lithe, swift
And they were to bring sorrow
For their gift of pestilence
Their gift of conquests
Humanity never knew
The mass destructive that would happen
Endless grieving exhausted the soul
Endless violence exhausting the flesh
No chance to ever renew
All humans would become
Servants to those they had mastered
But when the rider and steed came
Humans learned the truth




Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Guardians

Not every warrior loves war
Some are created to fight
Some are born for battle
Some refuse the burden
Some break, only they understand why
Many more bear the scars
Crumbling beneath honor's might
Bodies broken, final death rattle
But they have killed the gorgon
Before they themselves die

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Destiny and Fate echo

No one person chooses their destiny
Nor are they allowed to avoid fate
But the many desire power
And some still resort to hate
Our motives become our legacy
As the cruel reality is
What you love most
Is where your treasures lay
All anyone can do is overcome
Pour out their final measure
The cost is of your life
You can absolute pay
But will you do so?


Monday, January 11, 2016

Forest Brethren

He worked his life without being wealthy
He had a small family and was happy
His world was easy to understand
But so few knew
He had a past
He was a defender of the land
And what he had to do
Didn't leave him mentally healthy
His home in Latvia was captured
By the Soviet Union
The liberated by the Nazis
On their way to complete dominion
Of the lands east, for living space
And a boy who saw terrible things
Took up a rifle and escaped
To the forests
And joined the partisans
They were called the Forest brethren
And they fought any invader
They resisted fascists
They fought communists
And long after they could have won
The Forest Brethren remained
Ready and willing
An angry tribe
They were animals, wild
Never tamed
And eventually
The heroes who had survived
Tasted liberty
What was done
Faded into memory
But those who had fought
Knew the cost
Names like Jānis Pīnups
Saw the release of their lands



Sunday, January 10, 2016

Black Swan Broken

I know I am fragile
A delicate creature
Full of tears and hurt
Prayers unspoken
I worry
And know I can't go on
If I am broken
In all the ways it matters
I know that I am breaking
Breaking
And I can't fix myself
I am alone
My words fall into silence
Everything I know
Tells me I need to scream
And still it leaves me empty
Nothing inside
Not even dreams
Nothing left
Nothing to keep me
Satisfied
I believe in God
But I worry
That this generation
This abomination
Has committed Deicide
And while nothing
Can kill the all powerful
He might turn
And never return
To know
His ignorant children
Ever again



Saturday, January 9, 2016

A personal quest

I sought her as ardently
As I might a quest
However as imperfect I am
I am no guarantee
To pass any sort of test
Other than allegiance
And truth of my heart
Some might argue
My allegiance is so tightly held
It comes off as perverse
But I never surrender
Even should I fail
I was wounded, yes
By the chances of success
I could long for her with a pure heart
And still burn until ashes
Due to the realization
Of where she is
For the great distance
And so far from being mine
Yet her mind and beauty
Her spirit of love
So utterly divine
I sought to be her own
As a test of my worth
I would keep myself pure
And until I found her there
I would do anything anything
I am always dutiful
I never shirk
To prove my heart true
The winds of circumstance
And the happenings of chance
Saw disasters happen
My life became cursed
For every bit that I was ready
I was tormented
I was attacked inside by fear
I was attacked by others
In both my quest, and elsewhere
I carry her banner across my shield
I never waver in the face of battle
But my heart suffers
For the solitude, self imposed
Until I see her again
Until she is mine
And in her heart I am hers



Friday, January 8, 2016

meat head

I remember such a long time ago
My friends and I were deciding
What to do
Teens with hormones
Playing Russian Roulette
But instead of Guns
We used love
First one with a broken heart
Sits it out until it ends

Thursday, January 7, 2016

My words flow but betray me

I fall prey to thoughts
That give me clarity
I can't explain why
But the world does
And it tells me one thing
I know inside
That this world
Will never be for me
Who am I
It doesn't care
Why am I
It doesn't see
All I know and who I am
The world will never
Nor could it ever
Get used to me
I need to stop
Never speak
Again or again
My words flow
But always end up
Betraying me



Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Every sinner

Every sinner has his burden
Every Christ must carry his cross
And I know, I truly do
My time here is ending soon
So how should I address the one 
Who knows all of my thoughts
She has been inside my mind
Where I hide my pride
My deepest kept secrets
My hidden shames
All kept there from the world
My personae is false 
But magnificently and deeply wrought
She knows it all
Tells me so
But we never talk
We just stare at the sky
And bleed inside
Neither of us were ever taught
How to love another
So we linger in the darkness
Hoping to survive our flaws
But God
Nothing I have
Is ever enough
And now I am too tired
To ever 
Ever
Change
How can I go on
When all I do
Is make strangers
Of lovers
Estrange family and friends
Into others

 "You must suffer me to go my own dark way.”
Robert Louis Stevenson 




Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Plague Doctor 1


Brushed off my shoulders, my arms and hat
Then I walked to the next village
This one is much older
And like all other stops on the way
Plague seems to have killed every resident
Doesn't matter to me
If I care for these people
I lose my focus
Not because I am a murderer
Or violent sort
I have a job to do
I take the census
We need to know
If our underground bunker
Is the site of all of the humans
Upon the earth
First came the terror strike
Then the natural and lab grown plague rose up
Now there seems to be nothing
A consequence that seems both apt
Since researchers created and weaponized viruses and bacteria
And unnecessary
I simply hope to find life, anywhere.

Do not surrender

Never let those
Who have a desire
For your  fall
Have power over your existence
Never, never let those
Who'd love to see you upon a pyre
Answer the call
Existence is a gift
There is only this chance
You can only now have this
 And now what is there
You can choose to exist
Or end it all
You can grow or transcend this
Or overcome it all
This is all we are
There is nothing else
We are what there is
We cannot be place
Upon a shelf
This is our place
This is our goal
Let nothing replace us
Let nothing replace us
In our home

Monday, January 4, 2016

blue

Nearly gone, floating in the ether
Ennui numbs the mind
Blue the skin is turning
Frozen silent tears
Fearful black Easter
Standing astride
Sorrow burning
Aware to fear
Must find a way to cheat the reaper
Or lose my ability to decide
Screaming sirens warning
Now is the end, our final year
Nothing remains
But frozen dreams
And all of the pain

Sunday, January 3, 2016

Abyss Sickness

Sick of the abyss
So cold no comfort
The world no better
Since I've run out of hope
I've lost all doubt
Measuring out
The proper length of rope
So my feet don't drag
I am not afraid of the fall
My lips sewn shut
To keep me from screaming
Or confessing
I have already fallen
So stop calling my name
I've given up

Saturday, January 2, 2016

Ignorant Savages

I have given
And forgiven
And still
I am unable to achieve
Anything that truly matters
World peace is an insane dream
Hunger gets worse
And we pollute this planet
Beneath our drive to consume
We impose the curse
Why do we bother
Why do we go on
If we have to lie
To encourage our actions
Or have to perform triage
To save what little we can
We've already lost
Our world will be reduced to ashes
Just as a sacrifice
As it should be
With us along with them
Burnt and unrecognizable
We are the cursed
We are the unredeemed

Friday, January 1, 2016

We are the enemy

The world disappears
From view, from you
Used to be so clear
As a child it was
Beautiful, transcending
Even perfect
But no more
Now it is gone
Who stole it
Who destroyed it
So wrong, so wrong
The world is gone
And we remember
A place that
Will never be
Any more
Because of
What we did
And worse
What we didn't do