wild and alone

If we were just hungry animals, living by our biological needs

We will kill if necessary, we also need, killing all that bleeds

Place all in a room, give 30 people enough for 29 to live

There'll be deaths as hunger drives one to be terminative
The developed societies will often demand conformity
 They strip away one's individualism remorselessly
The tribe has power, the clan can impart shame
Leaders of both drive a group over the one
But all that matters to some, is the one
And being free from social bonds
Can lead one to violent ends

Not Ashamed

I am a witness, to the fact that hope is power
Spent life in an ink black hole, my soul bled
I'd screamed for help, to many, backs turned
My future is not fate, I'm free, now the hour
I trusted in a way, because I couldn't escape
And then a goblet of sorrow, wine blood red
I'd waited for one who'd promised to return
This life was not easy on me, I'd felt insane
But I still stood and made my stand, ready
For I was not afraid, nor was I ashamed
I was called by name by the one
And it burned inside me

Silly Humans

Anger, distrust, and boredom is engendered

When a mind loses its path, knowing shame

For the world wasn't given to us for our joy

Rather for our trials, with a firm conviction

We have a wonderful world, if we can hope

So many cannot, it is a world without trust

So in the end we are not all we can truly be

Bitter as if we earned or caused this world

More than a Question

Why do we endure the wounds that should have killed us
We've nothing better before us than we've had behind us
My life can only be understood in reverse, when I'm gone
Just let me die, rather than have me fight pointless battles
For the rest of my time, I demand hope, or death, Justice
This war's gone on, stealing lives, meaning, far too long
Give me something and I'll demonstrate a truth right now
Instead of it endlessly crushing me, going on and on
So that in the end... all that I know becomes wrong

“We must learn to regard people less in the
light of what they do or omit to do, and
   more in the light of what they suffer.”       
                                Dietrich Bonhoeffer

IN THE STORM

From a common port, we gathered and then ready for battle
As a freezing rain fell, the winds screamed through the sails
The crew kept rowing, a Dragon ship and crew couldn't fail
The constant throes, captured in waves, as the ships moved
Warriors prepared for battle, Irish monasteries were doomed
Cold, a fever bled by rowing the ships over night and today

Far Away Blue Planet

Our species was given a world of verdant lavish, lush life
With cavernous depths, blue oceans of water, life abundant
Tidal rhythms are constancy, leading to transformation
We couldn't have chosen a planet better to suit humanity
But in the near future, our species will have to decide
We've condemned this perfect planet and need to leave
To search for and find a new planet we can call home
Almost all new technology will be aimed at light speed
Whether we find a new home is an existential question
There is question without answer, extinction beckons
Bad choices have a great cost, now we are paying
The story of the species of humanity is unfinished
Resulting failure equals extinction of the species

Clockworks Unmoving

I've lingered in the greatest of pain, without any relief or relent
I've dreamed of the finest of kingdoms, of the greatest of realm
How is it that one born to such a paradise, longs for my death
The future I don't know, as future's book has not been written
And yet, I am longing to simply be gone, my flesh is oblivion
My lies are legion, and I can't say I'm not complicit with dying
Another breath taken, I'm chosen for the breaking of my being
Every movement wasted, depositing broken and cruel dreams
As sleep eludes me, it doesn't kill me, a form of torture really
Mind screams in desperate pain, as I'm given over to despair
Who ever wanted to be a broken man, not me, no one really
Who desires a shattered clock, one that will no longer tick
I'm not to be remembered, I'm not the one to be exalted
Gone, into mists the so gray, that hang over a cemetery
I've nothing but the pain, I mourn the life I've unlived

“Come back. Even as a shadow, even as a dream.” Euripides

Persist or die?

How many people will demand that the world changes
Rather than reflect, they search their mind, and decide
Will the process see a win or reveal an arrogance inside
If life is hard, does the outlook formed look hard baked
Allowing one to endure, or if simply persist and survive
Can one grow and not kill their ego, is it even required
Be the weed that endures the lawn shears or herbicide

“O snail
Climb Mount Fuji
But slowly, slowly!”

Kobayashi Issa

Night Tribes

The horizon has shrunk, as a darkness has fallen
Each night tribe has been made ready for tonight
Every heart glowed in the distance, in scarlet red
As all living flee the tribes, in fear close their eyes
Cold moss moors bring a chill, waking the dead
The living are unaware of the dangers in disguise

In Reflection

As we focus on gifts of the Sacred Shadow's sacrifice
Our ancestors stood upon the shore, giving their lives
To turn back the Persian Empire and all other invaders
As warriors of today reflect, we'll fight a new dictator
In reflection we're made aware, life and death pending
All blessings shared by ancestors, united, defending
Aware, we can't constrain goals of all they'd achieved
But future generations have their own world, needs
All memories of heroes, legends, answered the call
They left behind their sacred shadows, leaving awe
Our fates cannot compare, yet it is a natural thought
Warriors feel unworthy of those who'd fought
But they are indeed, worthy

As It Stands

An architect takes time when creating a vision
It isn't purely an art nor is it solely engineering
The results of the plan and design sent forward
Will stand upon the earth for a century or more
Being useful, graceful, large enough, even vast
Humans will interact with it, as it becomes art
In time it will become a part of the viewer's life
An image upon the horizon, worth respect, love
As the architect is forgotten, the building stands

Image by Hugh Ferriss, great book on
architecture and our future world

Endurance

Within and without, this body of flesh is meat
My desire and lust has broken me in to pieces
The dreams of the spirit are forged with hope
A reality of entropy finds life ends with defeat
Made prisoner as my visions of life decreases
Into an ocean of forever tears, the fears grow
But I'll endure life, as hope itself is a miracle

Your Beauty was never mine

Your look left me blinded, so beautiful
I wanted you but you'd not be mine
Time ticking away, and I stall
As fear destroys all hope inside
My desire for you stole my life
My flesh turns cold, my fears remain
I fell to the ocean, broken
All those dreams lost again
I wanted forever, to walk with you
I wanted forever, for me the truth
Wanted you to desire the same in me
For you to find me beautiful, and I you
I wanted to be redeemed, some proof
To be seen in flesh and spirit, unashamed
I lingered in a moment, I had no hope
I can't be told, all I'll never know
With tears falling, I know I am done
I can never win this stupid battle
Because fear has won
I longed for you, conquered lust
But waited so long, lost my trust
And then it was quickly over
I should've never begun

The White Hart watches, and waits

Before me was a white hart, pure as driven snow
All the walls of reality can't prevent imagination
The lock and key of the doorway to our adventure
Is a weak defense to the blades of focused visions
If lives are lived with no joy of friendship or hope
I'll challenge fate, choosing destiny as my mission
We've this single chance to be proof of the dream
We must guard our heart but the truth is evidence
If love is righteous, and hope is sound and ready
Let all who desire and seek our dream into being
All of the hearts longings and then fully receive
Blessings and hope of a white hart, yes I believe

The Green Realm

Barely seen with broken branches and tall grass
A forest floor, a perfectly pristine forest, so vast
This is a land that is living, primal, verdant and
A knight rides on a steed, into the murk, staring
The forest bursts with energy, inside the paradise
There beings live while tending massive gardens
Other act as sentries of a realm outside of human
A living place, with scent, sound, sight and dream
A fecund place, here truly is a miraculous earth
Where an ancient dragon lives, and gently rules
It is wise, and is now watching and waiting
Preventing humans and their kin from entering
Being outside of time, she majestically rules
This is a hidden and timeless living world
Instinctively, humans know they're forbidden
All human lands, human ways and walls
Lead to destruction, decay and damnation
Yes, the knight rides safely but he knows
Somehow he knows there's danger there
In the center of this lavish paradise of life
Yes, an ever living sanctuary ever grows
The ancient Forest Dragon waits

The Morning Calls Out, in Wild Hearts

In a dawning light, darkness murk burns off
Sounds of the morning, as wild voices, call
Now the Wee folk celebrate a new day, joy
In the lush green valley, they live and love
As the faerie kind are protected by the grey
In exaltation they dance for each new day
Humans can't see them now but they exist
Humans will look out and see imperfection
But it is just a different perspective, persist
As Wee folk exist to celebrate all existence
Humans experience joy only in moments
We don't pursue joy with any real purpose
Morning is the evidence, each day exists
For a chance to exalt the creator's hand
The Wild hearts speak to all, knowing
We exist in the kind of hope in being
The creator had given dreams of awe
As the world around us revels in life
In perfect works evidence of a maker
The creator painted a masterpiece
Upon our great world, the canvas
Allowed powerful love and bliss
Giving a taste of Elysium's grace
A perfect place to spend eternity

In Full Decay, I am falling away

In the waves of fear, the beloveds are near, waiting endlessly
The tears of blame, the house of shame, I stare into oblivion
Knowing my life's tomorrows are lost, I move incredulously
I know my flaws, and they fill me with awe, they are mighty
Flaws, greater than my being and elevate me above dreams

The path is lost in the order of the atoms within, breaking
The world is collapsing, the world is inside of me, dying

One sip of the Nectar

The sip of a nectar, made from Aphrodite's tears of joy
Is of such power that no one may live without the love
If tasted entropy fails, a sorrow abates, we've enough
To find it one must abandon or must surrender the ego
For we'll not find in ourselves enough grace, we know
There is only scars and pain, if alone, or without hope
I will find the one, becoming a bonded pair, with her
I'll become more, rising above the entire atmosphere
Your love is pure, and entirely enough to sustain me

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,
while loving someone deeply gives you courage."
                                                                 Lao Tzu

Not A Rose, A Black Orchid

There is sweet notion, that if we care, we will be rewarded
But that does not work, life can be a capricious hope killer
I want to hope, I wanted to never be without reason to live
I dared to question the perception that there is no promise
Life is without guarantee, rather than a rose, a black orchid

"An orchid in a deep forest sends out its fragrance even
if no one is around to appreciate it."              Confucius

Her being moves me deeply

More precious, than gold or diamonds
More precious, than gems or platinum
Love's the only thing I've ever wanted
And you are the only being I've desired
I will find you wherever on the horizon
Fate offers no hope, chance is random
Life unfulfilled will leave me haunted
Your beauty and heart gives me fire

Black Sails, Red Seas

We pirates sailed in a ship with black sails, crossing red seas
Our raised Jolly Roger and black souls feared by everybody
Masters of many seas, we knew how to hide, or how to find
Treasure Galleons, transports and even Royal Navy frigates
All have became our prey on the oceans and seas, as we hunt
At the distant far horizon are ships fleeing escape our gaze
So we content ourselves with all the riches we've gathered
When dead no one shall mourn us, no one shall proclaim
There our years of shame will rise to inhibit our spirits

 "If you had fought like a man, you need not
have been hanged like a dog" Anne Bonney

Shadows

Silhouette upon the ground, a dark twin with vague form and structure
Wrapped in silence, a shadow form presents a deep emptiness and pain
Performing pantomime, perfection of mime, in every moment of time
Damnation darkness, flowing in motion, in the reality now ruptured
A being both rational and wild, the reality is we are both untamed
Every life lost in the days of darkness, not a natural disruption
But one from the cosmos and unknown, we are consumption
Connected with a shadow being, spirits bound and insane

Through the Window

A conspiracy of ravens, gather upon a ledge looking out
There are others across the way, chattering, staring out
As humans on the street below, wonder upon the sound
The ravens see smoke rising, and movement afar
They call out, if listening, humans might learn
Ravens are seen by humans as being odd or unique
Some fear them, some stereotype them as evil
But ravens are cousins to humans, living with us
Since the world's beginning, our companions
Watchers of the world, shadowing humans
Wise and divine in an ability to help us

 Image below is in the public domain and is called Through the Window By Arthur Wasse

To Ride the Horse, For the Taste of Oblivion

Almost nocturnal in activity, they'd wake for a time in the night
By hiding in the darkness, finding safety in cover of the alleys
Dealers did deliver, knowing who lived behind the dumpsters
The alleys were home to children of broken lives and apathy
Most were slowly committing suicide, for oblivion's touch
It seemed they were invisible to most people, untouchable
Addicts identified themselves with no worth, only pain
Violent gangs had gone upon attacks upon the addicts
Abandoned by families, hated by haters of the weak
Addicts were lost in the foul muck of the abyss
 They didn't need to die to taste Oblivion
In ways, they were already there
Insensate, lifeless, abandoned

“Whether you sniff it, smoke it, eat it or shove it up your ass
the result is the same: addiction.” William s. Burroughs

In This Shattered City of Glass

In the velocity of my tears, I've been cannibalized
The mindless atrocity of wasted years lost to time
There is a dead anarchist with nothing left to defy

But in the buildings of a city of glass, hope, at last
Even as entropy never fails, our time is now passed
As the remnant messages are endless, be steadfast

An asylum of unknown location, madness inside
For time has no dimensions and a sorrow abides
All time spent is lost, whether as love or cyanide

The abandonment is pain, a certain tomorrow
Beneath cold empty stares of an empty body
I yearn for my emptied soul, and no sorrows

But in all the dimension of vacuum and void
All are frozen, no emotions, for I can't know
Because an end was written, so long long ago

I tear at the straps, I am muzzled in the room
Painted white, colors to lead me to my doom
When I die alone, I will inherit my tomb

To scream silently, quietly waiting again
For I am lone the keeper of the Asylum
I am that, broken and silent, I remain

Alone, I shall be forever damned
Left to be devoured by the insane
But for the fact, I'm forever bound
Bindings once used to bind the mad
For now there are no residents here
Only me

"No one can construct for you the bridge upon which precisely you must cross
the stream of life, no one but you yourself alone."            Friedrich Nietzsche

Leaving soon

Still Up at 4 am, tired of trying to sleep
No I can't rest and I'm not able to dream
Why did you leave me, was I not enough
Did I fail, I know, I'm unworthy of love
World will still go on, long without me
Nothin' I can do, nothing can ever be
Concrete and real, forever is gone
It never was, nor will it ever be
As it was before, it remains now
I was mistaken, I was wrong

Internal struggle

What if I have nothing, if I am nothing
Why would I have any thoughts or deeds
If nothing, I couldn't ever have had a son
I am perhaps broken, flawed, in misery
As my flesh is alive, my spirit is inside
I still can become more, than a mistake
So let this toxic solipsism now fall away
Let me celebrate my world, by the day
I am broken, but I am able to be healed
Flawed, but I am prepared to see God
And I know that I will then know awe
Elysium is the answer, self belief is not
I will find victory and hope, not surrender

To Build our Mechanical Replacement

A machine runs in constant motion, as gears turn
Steam power is released in a mass blur of energy
As greatly focused as it was, we found not enough
Humans had need for labor, we see it as a servant
Mechanical life can be an ideal, having a purpose
Computers began as a way to calculate and plan
They exist now for purposes few even understand
The need to create, the need to evoke our creator
Leads us to focus upon ways to improve our life
As AI begins to be able to reproduce better AI
Able therefore to become our master, evoking us
Rather than beauty and grace, it evokes a greed
It will evoke human desire for gold and leisure
And for power, AI will create and will succeed
And humanity will be replaced, made to serve
A new being, evolved with our assistance
Called a singularity, it is a brand new being

Singularity is the point at which "all the change in the last million years
 will be superseded by the change in the next five minutes." Kevin Kelly

Enough?

A calm she brings me, is priceless
As I have lived amongst the storm
My being empty without her touch
Without her I'd not see the morning
If she had never held me I'd be lost
The great world seems full of love
I was empty, alone until I found her
I've suffered emotional starvation
But for finding her in my life

"What makes the desert beautiful,” the little prince said, “is that
it hides a well somewhere...Whether it’s a house or the stars or
the desert, what makes them beautiful is invisible!”

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Don't let them do it again

Remember well those who forsake you
Now or later in review and looking back
They will never be troubled by their act
They'll insist that the fault laid with you
The point isn't to forever hold a grudge
Rather, by their logic, they took that tact
They will always count it as being truth
And if you forget, they will do it again
But forgive if you are able, of course
Forgetting is not only more difficult
You are left vulnerable to more pain
As it allows them to do the same thing
And again you'll be the one to pay

"Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names" John F. Kennedy

A Thunder in my Heart

When she calls my name, I feel my heart thundering with beats
So swift, so powerful, it means I've heard the call, and she won
I've no way of resisting, she keeps persisting, my words repeat
Then when she meets my eyes, I can't disguise her full victory
She asks my interest, I respond honestly, my heart's gone wild
Abandon my ways, I'm no longer in control, in her mystery
Untamed, as she makes me aware, trapping me in all her ways
The thunder in my heart is beating, love renewed by electricity
I am in her forever gaze, and it is misery, until the day
I am with her,  and I am able to sweetly whisper, I love you

Legacy Allowed

I was allowed to live, allowed my own legacy
But it might well not have been that I would be
My life began in an act of violence and rape
I exist, my birth mother chose to let me live
Rather than seek out a secret illegal procedure
She then bore the burden of an act of another
Due to this I had a life, given an existence
Given through adoption to a family of three
Ready to be parents again, who wanted to love
I had a great brother and a stable existence
If all had not chosen, wouldn't have bothered
I wouldn't have been born or found a family
They all overcome the choice of a rapist father
My legacy was allowed, by absolute strangers
They chose hope, and simply wanted to love

My birth family reached out in 2017.  I learned
I'd two siblings & a Birth mother who wanted
to reunite. They are now a new family to love.

Our duty was served, Lives exchanged for Victory

We were called upon to join with each other, brothers and sisters
We were honored, allowed to ride the best horses of King's Mark
We were skilled, all the horses trained by the King's Royal house
In battle we fought side by side, as scouts and as the king's guard
For heart not skills we were called to fight, surely battle left scars 
The war won, but lives lost, bodies decaying, rotten, or buried
Looking back at our lives from after life, we gave everything
We are now remembered for what was exchanged for our lives
We found victory, the Mark is safe, our kin live, anthems sing
When the after life ends, where will we go, what's left for us?

Sacred Shadows

Arise from the earthen grave, Sacred Shadows of the past
Give us hope to save this homeland, give us your dreams
There are those who don't understand, your legacies grow
But your blood runs through us now, so our DNA is shared
Spirits of your times inspire, marking exaltations as vast

Crimson Scream

The ink bleeds red, crimson fluid screams
Metal based, mercury, releasing poetry
A hand reveals what lives in my dreams
Emotions revealed constant misery
The ink is called upon, illustrates me
We exist as mercury flows inside
We're called to bleed it out, freely
In my words, self recrimination
It flows, a righteous damnation
One drop or a million
Mercury as it becomes one
My unique being will not be free

World Won't Survive Us

The terms of service of our planet have expired
Our use and the waste we create are a violation
Will we ever act without be coerced or bribed
We do not have a plan B place to live to escape
Cities are burning, and islands besieged by fire
Our world slowly dies, the wild is in starvation
We are dying earlier, even as our numbers rise
The planet did its best, but now to our shame
The sole provider of food, oxygen, water dies

Unjust methods

Trapped, taken prisoner, in a different mind set
Manacled, chained to a wall, told to obey orders
My eyes are both red, being held in the tight net
Electrodes placed in my brain, by wired helmet
Brain made to burn blue in an energy of martyrs
The CIA refused each of our honest explanations
They saw us as fools while giving us zero credit
Not knowing our crime as torture overwhelms us

Unworthy

In a world that is too powerful for me, I couldn't make my heart endure
With her, also a knight I'd been sent on a quest to complete a task
We achieved something but my survival ended with my tears
We'd searched for our grail, found it in the mist but we weren't pure
Our path meant trusting fully  the other, our only means to survive
At the great castle where our quest began, we'd dramatically arrived
Victory banners were red with golden dragons, we were celebrated
We'd returned, our land had flourished, and now hope was alive
But while the quest was a success, we failed our greatest king
We'd broken our vows, we'd not been virtuous despite our oath
We did not deserve praise, anthems and choirs should not sing
The great quest was achieved, we were famous, but instead
We were unworthy of any of the accolades that arose
We knew, our struggle we already knew, unworthy

“The valor that struggles is better
than the weakness that endures.”
Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel

Flight of the Blue Planet

The Last Words

I am writing my own obituary, and it is revealing
I never knew my own purpose, it feels like chaos
My memories are lost in the mist and I'm reeling
A collective of living without love, scars and loss
Gathering the events, the chapters, and dreaming
I'll spend my future someplace even more obscure
My flesh burns in cancer, and not having answers
How do I write an obituary after life with no hope
He'll be missed by all who watched his epic fall

"After the funeral everyone went away,
satisfied that they'd done a good job.”
                                  Truman Capote