Saturday, December 31, 2016

Mazes



Remove my heart surgically
With love
Remove my viscera
With exquisite and expert mastery
Remove my brain
And all my hysteria
My soul remains
However shallow and empty
My body
A cavernous
Carnal depths
To explore
Is meat
For a great feast
With no soul
I am but a beast
In a world
Without purpose
The absurdity drives me
To utter madness
We are lost
From first to least
Nothing more
Nothing less
There is just a life
Lived for mazes
And tests
We are mice
Running
For cheese
We are not Theseus
Saving the Athenian youth


Friday, December 30, 2016

I am unafraid

Ever since I was a child
I knew that I'd die for you
Whatever my tribe
If I was a leader
Or exiled
A day would come
After all others
Ripe for the harvest
I knew some day
I'd die for you
Some way
You called out
To the thing in my soul
That remains wild
I hear its voice
Inside my mind
I have no control
I knew from the point
Of knowing your name
This life's journey
Was not the task
But a destination
To escape the grasp
Of oblivion
I kept my heart pure
And refused to be defiled
Over and over I heard the voice
I answered the call
I know I will die for you
When the red skies
Finally fall
I intimately know this
As if the knowledge
Was learned upon my demise
Forewarned
I am ready
Unafraid
Wearing no disguise
No masquerade
I fall
With a certainty
And readiness
Sacred life
The only kind
Apt for sacrifice


Thursday, December 29, 2016

A future of sorrow



There was no infinity
For the green and blue orb
Now barren of divinity
The damage unabsorbed
So many wars
Extermination of those
Considered to be others
Humanity left its tattoo
A scar
Upon the breast
Of its mother



Leaving a planet stripped of worth
Many fled to the stars
They were unaware bearing the curse
Of a plundered earth
They escaped the doom
Of the planet disowned
There was not enough room
After it was made
A forbidden zone
So many now
Children left behind
Seeking food or shelter
Virgins disavowed
Hidden inside
Bunkers filled with the rich
And the elders
The children ignored
Now wander
Without hope


Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Chalice of Blood

With this cup
Please join me
In my decay
In my fall
From the throne
Biting my lip
Trying not cry
You have never known
The reasons for my collapse
Before me a cup of blood I sip
For I am dead but have never died
My heart is a slave owned
By the vagaries of circumstance
My hunger never ceases
Stare in my eyes
And feel me in your bones
So many millennia elapse
Time is ceaseless
While I refuse to die


Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Fire inside

She was stunning when I saw her
She was the CEO's daughter
Her family never liked me
And I
Didn't like me either
But like isn't the word
Nowhere nearly close
To what I felt for that girl
She was the moon, sun and stars
Every thing and more
To me
And I still think
That way
She was beautiful
And then a bit
Lovelier than you can imagine
Perfect love of mine
She was and still is
And I can't fathom
Her depths
Her mind blows me away
I don't have any words
To say
When she opens up
And says
Whatever she has inside
Her mind


Monday, December 26, 2016

Who I am













If you wanted
Me to be fake
You chose the wrong heart
To break
I can't hide my soul
From you
And I can't be made to lie
It's true
I am who I am
You chose me
So how could you ever say
I was false or I would cheat
How could one ever choose
This one
Yet  hope to have chosen
The other
I might never be yours again
But then
I might not have been
The entire time
If you think I could say
And not believe
Or to lie
And try to see
If it worked
Because I am
Who I am
And I love you
Even if
You don't
Share the view
Even if you don't know
Who I am
I do

Saturday, December 24, 2016

I never knew

I knew her when she said
That she cared
And she spat me out
When she stopped
Caring
I never knew what led
To the despair
And the doubt
When Pandora's box
Began tearing
Open
And then
The darkness poured out
Into everyone's life
And it ripped me
Like a knife
In my back
Unstopping
Without caring
I ran unknowing
Into a place
Far away


Friday, December 23, 2016

I refuse to drown

I am mortal and my soul
Is so very damnable
Gravity pulls me down
And the waves cover me
Breathing is impossible
But I have no fear
I refuse to drown
I trust in the holy
Even if the past is impassible
And the walls are my tears
I can't forget the memories
I can't wash away the years
But I can do something better
By moving on
My soul is inexhaustable
Why go on?
Why not
There never were promises
About this life
I've had to take extreme measures
Refuse the simple answers
And the whispers
From the voices anonymous
Ghosts in the spirit world
That knows, curiosity burns
Like cancer
My heart knows nothing more
Than the questions are
Better than the replies
By those who call me
And say I am done


Thursday, December 22, 2016

Open up your heart and your eyes

Whatever you've been told
The day is long enough
And you are not too old
Tomorrow is not lost to this day
Society doesn't have to decay
Who are we to throw the world away
When there is so much more
That can be done
To save it
To save us
Open the door
And accept my hand
Let us be united
In the resistance
To the end
We have so much
We can do
Don't turn your face
From the darkness
We have to fight
The darkness within us
And the darkness out
Of this
Today
Not tomorrow
Time is of the essence
And our work is waiting
For our hands
And heart
And eyes
Wake up
To a new way
To deal with the lies
To deal with the spectacle
Of the outside world
And escape
From the tentacles
Of greed
Of hate
Waste and insane
Realities


Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Metamorphosis

To sleep at night
Is a normal behavior
We hope to be renewed
From the constant struggle
And the ongoing worries
We aren't looking for a savior
Just to find a way, to go on
With no greater dream
Than to finally escape
Life offers no end,
Only a journey
We are never ready
But we are prepared to wait
For those who seek
Terminus does not exist
Never dying
We change
From flesh to spirit
Energy eternal
There is no grieving
As we enter spirit life
We have entered our metamorphosis
Embracing lessons
Perhaps harshly learned
But without regret
Not missing the pain of strife
We transform
With the everlasting
Our destination


Tuesday, December 20, 2016

so beautiful, she dances with butterflies

Mi Amiga Cherry Rose
Ella baila con mariposas
Her passions burn like super novas
Her scent is so much ambrosia
Spirit so wild and beautiful
Dancing among the daffodils 
Her heart is deep
Her love is wide
And she makes her lovers dreams
Fulfilled
And in time 
She is the lioness 
To lead her pride
So gently and ably


Dedicated



Monday, December 19, 2016

Depths of winter

In the ice and winter snow
The wind rips the warmth
From my face
Tears become frozen
Unprepared for the storm
Or this season's bitter embrace


Sunday, December 18, 2016

What I saw


They said it was better for everyone
That I go along, quietly
No one would look me in the eye
Until they wrapped the coat
Around me
They lied
And I screamed to break the silence
I'd rather die
Than be held inside this cage
They drugged me
Tried to kill my mind
They broke me
Filled my soul with rage
And no one visits me
No one cares
I am gone
No one is filled with despair
Because they
Are the ones
Who are insane
They
Are the ones
In the cage
No prison bars
No drugs in my veins
No straitjacket
Will hold me in
Nothing can hold me in
Again


Saturday, December 17, 2016

History weeps for Syria


The clash has been carried on
Most bestially
Since time began
The land was a crossroads
Of empires and states


And now it writhes in agony
Uncounted years
Endless are the days
For those who are caught
In the crossfire
In the wars of empire
The Romans once walked there
The Persians before them
And now, for this land
There are no survivors or hope
 

The battle has been raging
For millennia and more
Hatred and vile enemies
Clash over ideas
Over beliefs
Over the control
Of resources
A harvest of enmity
Without pause
No grieving allowed
Aleppo has drowned
Beneath the misery
Palmyra is lost
Nimrud is wasted



For the false messiah
Of a land in war
Crossroads of antiquity
Home of sorrow
In the present
And what does the future hold
But lingering souls
Waiting for death

Friday, December 16, 2016

Come in, come in

Never mind the screams
In this dark place
Don't be afraid
It is just me
Welcome to my web
It is my home
Please relax and have a seat
Ignore the many bodies
They are all dead
I am just saving them
For later
When I hunger
For the soft organs
Their wings
Yes
The many victims are evidence
Of my cruelty
Of my mastery
Of the hunt


Thursday, December 15, 2016

Behind different kinds of bars

The broken have no voice
The dying had no choice
The rich keep their money
As the world starts to burn
It is reality
It stills turns
Time still passes
But how do you accept a world
That requires obedience to a system
With inequity required for it to function
It might be that people are allowed to earn
But do not mistake crumbs for the pie, that is twisted
The rulers of this planet require your submission and corruption
We are the many and they are the few
Every act of compliance contributes to their project
We are the human zoo
We are the beasts
They are the elite
We are the unwashed
They are the perfumed effete
Now we are to be watched
For any signs
Of cell corruption and decay
For we are not like them, we do not live simply for the day
We live for the moment
We shall strike
And the throats of those in power
Will be cut, and we will fight


Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Taste of her lips

I have lingered in the memories
Of the taste
Of her lips
I have memorized the pathways
Of the lines
Of her hips
Oh they sway
And sway
And she dances
In my memories of her
Her motions make me burn
Her voice stirs the beast
Even in stone cold coma
Asleep, or in dream
The presence of her
Becomes a portent
Or omen
I quicken
I come awake
And the rest of the world
Takes notice
In awe
She is beautiful
Yes
She is perfect
When I see her
I shake
She dances
In my memories
And she dances
There in my dreams



Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Others and I

By others
Long forgotten
Forsaken
Ignored and abandoned
No one desires
A heart gone rotten
A soul misshapen
A fear demanding
An unforgiven liar
Even if it is
Their own


Monday, December 12, 2016

PTSD Hunts me down like prey

Chased by my past
My memories should never be
So deeply burned as if on purpose
They say it won't last
But my history says I know it will be
And I will be the beast bearing this burden
They chase me into the wilderness
Following my tracks left in the snow
And I know, it will hurt
The wolves represent the bitterness
Haunting me worse than any murder of crows
I am, I know, I am cursed
So I offer no defense
As the teeth rip and pull
The blood is everywhere
And I know without pretense
My cup was spilled while full
I have nothing else to compare
My life is broken
Despite my victories
My body fades
And I confound mysteries
By knowing
All my sins were real
But while I realize
I also know
There is no where I can go
Not even home



Sunday, December 11, 2016

Slave

All my waking life
And my pathetic awareness
Of simply being
I was passion's slave
A victim of my own hand
And desires unnatural
Causing inner strife
And unchained demons
Unleashed from the prison
I run as if I damned
Because I know how they tempt
And that no one will save
Me
I don't recognize reason
As your beauty commands
Me to come
Serve at your feet
Kiss your ring
Desire your touch
But I linger in the thought
Because
I hold you in contempt
I know I can't resist
Your desire to make me bend
Forever in misery
Condemn me to history
And I remain
Just your slave
And I hate
That I have no say
In my destruction
And decay



Saturday, December 10, 2016

she waits until I become

I have to find
Sanctuary
A place of grace
A path of mercy
I have been here
For as long as I've lived
My life journey
Does not terminate
In a distant land
Rather it is a reckoning
And to find forgiveness
Where I arrive
I've never left
But my life is new
A metamorphoses
From unknowing
To knowing
From selfish
To giving
And I will become
Perfected
But I am only now
Broken
I will cherish
Every wound
For it taught me
How
And I will enter
A realm
Where I will never perish
Nor need to be forgiven
Again
I am broken
I am flawed
But I am going to find
My path
It will lead me
To a place
Where she waits
When I become perfected
And my flesh burns away
All that will be left
Is gold
Leave my bones
At the house charnel
Time will pass
And my spirit will be
Eternal


Friday, December 9, 2016

Nightmares and waking wet dreams

Between hiding in my sleep
And coming out only at night
I barely move from fear
I creep
Out of sight
And world demands
No you will never
See my tears
For I know they fall
But not for your pleasure
Or for any other
Because I have
Dignity despite
Being trapped between
Horror dreams
And awkward existence
Between swimming in shit
And drowning in piss
I can never
Be saved
From this
Still
I resist
I resist
I will never let you see
Me crying
Because I resist


Thursday, December 8, 2016

Blinding our eyes

Lowered down
Into the cold
Frozen ground
Beneath spades of dirt
The years are covered
To rest, for now, or for eternity
I fell down running
Fleeing
Gone
Life gone wrong
Too short my reach
For your embrace
Artlessly, talentlessly
Instead I scream
I long to be one
Dreaming
Sleeping
Next you
Holding
Hearts and hands
Waking covered in dew
From the faeries dance
We escape being damned
Together
Thinking ourselves
So very wise
Staring into the sun
Blinding our eyes
But our vision never fades
Because we never look
We only see
We never cry
We only meet
In a spiritual place
Far beyond the reach
Of the demons chasing
But they are never
Never seeking
Never finding
Never a taste
Of your soul
Inside


Wednesday, December 7, 2016

The Slaughter in the deep of the Forest

9 AD, Magna Germania, September

Rome had sent a call
From its heart to the empire's frontier
For men from across that world
To come
Come serve in the legions
Stifle the barbarian prayers
And become a Roman
By service
Few of us were of the blood
Of those who marched
For the Republic
But I would not question their allegiance
Only the reason and wisdom
Of the empire
To arm those who had formerly
Taken arms against her
But that was not my decision
No, not mine at all
For I am a soldier of Rome
And I live to answer
The call
In the days of September
Our destiny was prime
To die
For Rome
We were as sheep to a slaughter
Not innocent perhaps
But naive as to our fate
We were led to the region
Held by Germanic tribes
With an intent to bring to their knees
Every warrior, woman and child
General Publius Quinctilius Varus
He of aristocratic blood
Was the most cruel
And never question this
He died of his own hand
While his men were hunted
Like animals of the wild
The Teutoburg Forest
Swallowed all of Rome's pride
And sucked down our finest
We were the gracious fruit
Of the vine poured out
Upon the forest floor
The vintage of youth
The gift of time
And nothing was left
For us
But to flee
Ignobly as it were
From Germania
Few survived
Few remembered
And Rome had reached a place
Of descent
Forever trying to stop the bleeding
Without knowing how to do so
Without realizing
All of its dreams were spent

Turn winter in Germania
Now our bodies
Decayed
And dried
The leaves covered
And snow blankets
By spring our skeletons rattle
In the empty armor
We wore to the ambush
And never
Returned in victory
Dulce bellum inexpertis

Sunday, December 4, 2016

desert

When you were with me
The garden grew
Without care
Or planning
Red roses
Lush greenery
When you left
Desertified
Song birds flew
From branches hanging
Black roses
Beauty mortified
It was you
Who invited life
And
Now without
Anything
I walk
the desert
Left behind


Saturday, December 3, 2016

Crashing

How many tears fall from joy
How many are from pain
How many are from sorrow
When I was just a boy I thought I was insane
And wanted only no more tomorrows
Instead they came like a flood
I was never whole
With my being bleeding out
White from loss of blood
And now
Foam
The waves breaking
Sleeping in coma
Never waking
Again
Charon waits for me
Upon the river Styx
Asks me for the toll
After a world
Filled with lies
Existence never stops
Sucking out
Every bit of my soul
So I have no coins
For my eyes


Friday, December 2, 2016

Depths of misery

Nothing to do but to hate the one
I've become
Nothing to see in me but
The failure I am as a son
When this life has run
The length of the time
It is meant
I can never know
Why I failed
Or in what column
Or sort
And then
How can I wash off
The stink of loss
The stench of worthlessness
And the rain of the empty
Pours over me
Will it bring
A metamorphosis
Or will I lay shaking
In the depths
Of my misery
Of this
My faithless existence


Thursday, December 1, 2016

Depressed?

We break
We are depressed
We sing our sorrow
With every step
We lose our faith
Our beliefs
Stealing every breath
How can we breathe
We grieve our future
While losing tomorrow
Fears like a spider's web
Fully weaved
And now what is left
What will we lose
If we never forgive
Never forget
Holding debts
Like a madmen possessed
What is left
But regret
Singing in our heart
Sorrow in our minds
Borrowing pain
By holding it all
Inside