Monday, June 30, 2014

One to Love















No victories won
Yet I am near the end
Tortured and tired
Exhausted, staggering
Staring off into the sun

Normally so bright
It blinds
But my eyes
Protected by the clouds
Staring into the distance

Knowing who I am doesn't help
Some see my outside flesh
And they assume
Think I've got it easy
They don't know
I've been alone for my journey
Alone in crowds

So many people near
I've been blind
But I have seen
While I hear no sound
With my ears
Still hear it all so clearly
The screams are silent
Instead of loud
But
The only thing I need
Ever needed, is you

Where are you now
Where were you then
I need you near
But I've lost my way
Without your hand in mine
The path so hard to follow
All I want is to be yours
And you to me in kind

But I am alone still
With just a shadow remaining of me
Inside

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Breath, Sex, Battle, Flesh, Death

In this ancient place
The arena is for all to enter
How one survives depends
Upon the role they play
Upon the stage




















Warriors and war prisoners fight
Unequal battles
Before the crowds
Who cheer the slaughter
Satisfied with the blood
The victors need no laurels
These enemies were unarmed
With names no one will remember
And bodies cast out
As feed for the wild beasts
Any remnants of life dismembered





















The slaves and eunuchs
Maneuvering their masters
Through their wit and wiles 
To be the ones in actual power
By acting subservient
And with manipulation
They show that they are clever
They rule in the shadows of daylight
And in the corridors of quiet
In the night















In the harem chambers
Wives, and consorts 
Privately speak, and bathe
Before the Caliph returns
Before they must bow before him
To reveal themselves and
To welcome his entreaties
To satiate his lust in many turns
One by one they enter his chamber
And he is moved less and less
And does not remember even their names
With his passions emptied





















The world they all live in
Is brutal and unforgiving
Each makes a sacrifice
Inside their rooms
Chambers, barracks
And cages
To endure
To keep on living
Until freedom comes
Perhaps tomorrow
If not the next day

We'd like to think we are different
But we also do this
In modernity
Every
Single
Day
Making our offerings
Fighting our battles
Trying to endure our servitude
However we can

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Lost


Some are moved by miracles
Others by great events
But I am moved by one
Who stirs my soul inside
She is my paradise
And I cry
For I have seen her 
It does not make me glad
And I have wept
To know that I am far away
I am desolate 
I have seen forever in her eyes
I get lost there sometimes
I gaze into the depths
I see the children we never had
The future hopes become misery
When forbidden by the past
But I know that she is glorious
She is more beautiful
Than anything or anyone
I've ever known
Je suis devenu désolé
Makes me pine 
For the privilege of being
By her side
Alone there
In forever's tides


Wednesday, June 25, 2014

The Last Knight

Who am I to ask
What the sacrifice is for
When there is
Evidence of our decadence
The prelude to the fall
Resist the insistence
That we answer to a call
Despite the message 
Or from whom it is carried
Despite the bodies 
Already buried
Our swords we keep 
For we trust in the steel
So sharp, so cold 
Our tongues bleeding savage wit
As if we are allowed to choose
Shattered dreams of younger men
Shattered bodies of the old
Are the final remains of this
War of the confused
Am I going to rise above
Or do I wallow in discharge
Do I bring honor to him
Or shall I lay alone
Upon the river of fire's
Charnel house barge
Shall I offer my flesh
Fetid and foul
Or perhaps you desire
My final breath
Then take me now, take me
So that I can prevent the rape
First of my faith
Then of my flesh
By the wars of empires, whores and liars
Let me first burn upon your holy pyre

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Fade


Sorrow haunts me
Fading desire
To survive
Now too weak
And nearly gone
Grieving
Laying in bed 
Feel like dying
Wanting the unconscious
But I can't force my self
I am not that strong
Still screaming inside
Conscience still bleeding
Rolling over and over
In mental agony
Not sleeping
Again
Another night lost
Overactive mind
Losing everything
My tears have long since dried
I can't stop thinking
My memory fades
Except for what you said
I lose when I try to face
That reality
I fade away
Wish I could forget it all
You said goodbye
And then you left
You said you don't love me
Any longer
There are no words
For the hurt I am feeling
Other than abject regret
Far too much to remember
You left me blind and deaf
Still no dreams on the way
My eyes open wide
Staring at the ceiling
Alone
Fading
Fast

Friday, June 20, 2014

Nightmare 30s



They were called the Dirty Thirties
In middle America
The Black Blizzard could not be foreseen
But disaster are often hidden
In the memories of time
And the hopes of future days
Nightmare wrung from the dream
Of living upon the land
And by labors make it flourish

Where once the land was fair
And golden grains grew white 
From the flower
For a century of
Unending labor
Breadbaskets became full
Under the sun
Happiness for the harvest
Turned to abject despair
Under growing sweat 
The earth was broken
With no rain
The sun cooked the ground
Forlorn prayers
Unheard and unanswered
 Despite the merit 
Of the bowed bodies
Facing down
The darkness at midday 
A catastrophic wind
The naked land
Exposed to the sins
Of exceeding the harvest
Ripped by the plowshare

Broken and bleeding
The land did not renew
And people fled
Of a season of death
In the devil's lair
Of Dust Bowl America





Sunday, June 15, 2014

She Moves Like A Black Cat

Nothing less than an enigma
Comme un chat noir dans les ombres
She is a black cat
Dancing in shadow
Graceful beyond description
So lovely to behold
I feel her in me
In the depths of my being
My visceral response
To her motion
Her form fits the shadows
Perfectly
Every motion every inch of her
Exquisitely
Poured out artfully
Beauty and grace together
But for me
Nearly impossible to watch
For something rises in me
That I cannot respond to
Without revealing
All that I am
And all that I long for
And all that I will ever be
Comme un chat noir dans les ombres

Friday, June 13, 2014

What is love?

Some measure worth as being great
But how we measure greatness is folly
Greatness
What is it
To kill men and conquer 
Or do things before others
That grant them laud
Or is it to love another greatly
As the most beautiful thing
And what is love
Is it the union of Ares and Aphrodite
Or the love of the common people not gods
The demi gods of history loved 




Hephaestion and Alexander 
as Achilles and Patroclus
Warriors and lovers in life
Yet in modernity we deny thus
We suggest that they were just great friends
Love never ends
Love is a fire
And when it stops burning
We are dead
Greatness is love
Loving another
Whoever
However
We meet
I burn for my Elizabeth
None others are so beautiful
My life is my love
And I am blessed




Thursday, June 12, 2014

Father Ares



His conceit is power
At the scene of battle
 
He has never paled
His way is danger
Father of Deimos and Phobos
With perfect form 

With perfect rage
The perfect warrior
A warrior god
Lover of violence
His armor and shield black


Deep from inside his helm
Two burning eyes staring out
In epic, vile anger
Oaths and prayers for Ares
Both silent and vocal
Some screamed
Some uttered
In the desperation
For this he revels



To see his children
Make war and folly
In his domain of fear
His control is abject, total
Wild and untamed is Ares
King of war's brutality
Never fearing his opponent

 
By his spear he made war
His appearance upon the field
Reaps a woeful harvest
Bitter is the fruit of the anger seed
Desperate men called upon him
He answers no prayer

Never in history
He never answers
Nor is he to blame
For his way is danger
He laughs at every plea

 The lust of war in men
Is his legacy
 We ought to feel shame
For the way of man is foolish
  Our zeal for war is mournful
Knowing the consequence
Yet still
Daring to call out Ares' name



Wednesday, June 11, 2014

26










Although I walked freely
I was not
I spent my life
Nearly 25 years
In prison
I was going 500 miles per hour
In reverse
Into the wall and window
Banged my head against the glass
Shattered memories showered
Covering me in pain perverse
Bleeding everywhere
Blamed for more than my share
Because a child is blameless
I began to cower
In the corner
Born under a curse
Fearing to speak
My being shriveled
Under the glare
Of perfection seekers
And judges
You reached out your hand
Broke my bonds of failure
Allowed me to be a man
Taught me how to love
Became a sort of savior
Restoring life
To someone dead
And I still
Can't understand
Why
But I am not giving it back
That which you gave me
Is all I have
All I want
Still

Sunday, June 8, 2014

Red Sky Falling







We thought ourselves gods
But we were not
We were sheep to be led
To the slaughter
I watched as they made it known
We were to be fattened
And bred
For more to be made
To satiate our hunger
A soulless generation
We craved
We desired

Luxurious opulence
Our hearts were blackened
Deceived lives without passions
For our cravings
We were led away
To the slaughter house
Led away from the path
We desired
Lusted and hungered
Pious in our cravings
We desire only more


So far from home
I watched as plans were made
To have us breed
To create life
For our pleasure
To use their bodies
Taking their life
To replace worn flesh of our own
Directly from womb
To the slaughter house
To harvest again

Callously
We enter the tomb
And maudlin cry
For the child we have slain
To sait our flesh
We were led away
From the truth
And our bodies soon
Flensed and shaved from the bone




Removed too, our heart and brains
Because they made it known
It was not our hearts they wished
But our soul
Warned yet ignorant
Given truth but refuse to believe
Stepping upon the words
We are surely harvested
Until not one remained
The Red Sky Falling
Wie Schafe zur Schlachtbank geführt
Wie Schafe zur Schlachtbank geführt
Like lambs to the slaughter
Willingly
Because we desired
Unendingly
We became our fate
We desired and we grew fat
From the hunger insatiable
The Red Sky Falling
Upon us

Saturday, June 7, 2014

My Love, My Black Swan

(a metaphor that no one will translate, yet it is truth, for me)

Whereupon I was yours
I longed for you once
But no longer
I grieved for your loss
But you are not gone
You simply refuse to be
I sorrowed my being
My lack of your presence
But you are a black swan
Fated to pass
And haunt me now
Like paint free canvas
Like a ghost who longs for my madness
You exist but only in memory
And I cannot exist without you
Oh can't you see
Hope offers but never provides
The beat of my heart
Becomes silent inside
For you were my love
Everlasting and good
And now you are gone
Though next to me
I shiver in pain
From the memory of once
Lost for the long
Of time
I was yours
Neverending my love
I offered it full
And you left it emptied


Thursday, June 5, 2014

Quest Unending

























I am flawed like a mirror cracked
I am broken like a bone snapped
Dust settles as I begin to sleep
I must rest now, after all
The pain is deep
When I rise I know
It is before the throne I remain
I bow before the one who made me
Knowing that I am not done
Duty inside my heart
Unending
From when my being was begun
Born in fire of pain
Burned by life, turned to ash
Rejected by the mother's flesh
Born alone screaming
The One held me there
Giving me a task
I am a warrior who has fought
I am a poet who has spoken
I'm a sword in iron wrought
Spirit rises but
My body's broken
I am not done
No, I am not done
Creator and maker
Architect of all things
You are my way
The task you set before me
My legacy and faith
Anthems to sing
But I am not done, no
I am still fighting
And my way is known
And when you are done
With my life
It will be clear
My flesh betraying me
My world disappears
I am not done
Amen


Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Ghost Walker

Chasing a ghost who walked in my heart
She never left but is more silent
And now her footsteps can't betray
Where is she now
So quiet inside
Memories of the day
Can't help me now
Her shattered mind
Taking her away
I miss her so
She'll never be here again
And I am left with a pious
Fear
That I'll never see her
Ever again
So I chase my memories
Of that ghost
Inside my cavernous mind

Monday, June 2, 2014

Those Dreams that Never Last

Closed eyes

Trying to dream of paradise
But tossing/turning
In bed awake
The dreams pass
The moment I open my eyes
Dreams escape memory
Dreams never are
Like love
I never wanted everything
Just enough
Never got that but that's OK
If at least I had hope in you
But you never gave me that
I want more than dreams
That never ever come true
I collapse when I know
You are a dream that never was
A dream that will never last
We never had our dance
We never had that chance
So I linger in the dream land
Waiting for you there
And I wait to say
I think you are
Perfect, kind and loving
But you never appear

Sunday, June 1, 2014

The Murder Awaits












We cannot help but be transformed
Amidst cries of the newborns
And the moans
Of a final breath
Taken
Entropy screams
The cycle renews
Crying and tears
Harken the birth
And they also
Accompany the dead
Along their journey
Again and again
The world revolves
Renews
Dies
Continues
The murder dances upon the shore
Arguing over what will be lost
When that storm arrives
And who will bear that cost
The cycle continues
Memories fade
We die but
Our seed grows
And the world revolves
Renews
And the crows dance

(Photo Credit)