Welcome


I am a poet who has both been published and self published. All work on this blog is all copyright Alex Ness. While I make very little money from my work I am technically a professional. Measuring by the hours I've written I am professional. My goal is to share my work with as many people that can read it, as far as the internet may reach with it. I hope if you are moved you will share this blog with others, and perhaps buy my books.

Whatever the result, thank you for viewing this blog. I cannot express how greatly I appreciate the many people, from many places upon the earth, who have visited.

I bid you peace.

Je ne regrette pas la douleur, car il m'a fait plus forte

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Saturday, June 30, 2012

Filled With Empty

I am nothing
Bound up
Held within a shell
A personal hell
My flesh decays
Inside
A living black hole
All my thought and dream
Sucked down the pipe
Spewed out into oblivion
The blackness
The dark
The dead flesh is ripe
And my fetid remains
Sink down into
Mania
Sorrow
Fear
Emptiness
Alone
In pain
Fighting tears
Fleeing fate
The hollow
The daze
I remember life
This is not it
This is a life betrayed


"There is no worse sickness for the soul,
O you who are proud,
than this pretense of perfection.
The heart and eyes must bleed a lot
before self-complacency falls away."
Rumi

Thursday, June 28, 2012

One Standing

Despite his beauty
and lineage of divinity
He bore the woe of a people
Grievous scars
Achilles, Akhos Laos
Grief of a nation, through wars
Kleos, glory
Untold woes

“Sing, Goddess, of the rage of Peleus' son Achilles,
the accursed rage that brought great suffering to the Achaeans”

Warrior of endless rage
Anger towards every foe
Black soul mourning
Sorrows deeply flow
Impeccable warrior
Son of the Gods
By rights a hero
By his acts feared
Wild rage unleashed
The enemy bled
His way was violent
Cruel
His opponents fled
His countenance seared
Into their psyche
Long before battle

“Achilles glared at him and answered, "Fool, prate not to me about covenants. There can be no covenants between men and lions, wolves and lambs can never be of one mind, but hate each other out and out an through. Therefore there can be no understanding between you and me, nor may there be any covenants between us, till one or other shall fall”

Priestess

She alone will tell us
What the gods know to be good
But she does not desire your worship
Nor your company
You do not approach
You are summoned
You are not allowed
You are shown
You are not to speak
But to be spoken towards
For she is the one
The gods recall
She has spoken to them
Hovered beneath their feet
She has eaten their fruit
She will teach
She will linger in the holy
She will fetch the truth
For all to learn
She will reach into the eternal
Pulling forth divine knowledge
When ready she will offer
A taste of the gods' nectar
She will offer more
Than we could ever ask
If we simply allow her
Time
Silence
And solemnity
While she completes her task

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Covered by the waves

Laying silently they are there
Memories of a fallen age
Long since knowing the sounds
Of human activity
Their past residents
Lost in time now
So far distant
The present day
Ignorant of the world
That lays beneath
The waves cover
The monoliths sleep
Resplendent antiquity
While humans forget
Living in ignorant regret
The times of modernity
Swirl up and erase
The traces of the past
And the memories are consumed
By the pride of man
Today

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Complicate

Make me bleed
Exsanguinate
Shit on me
Defecate
I can't breathe
Suffocate
I cannot fight back
Retaliate
Just let me be
Hate
Nothing really matters
Just complicate the truth
Let yourselves be freed
Bleed into the world
Of color
Justify the lies
Make the others pay
Complicate reality
By screaming obscenities

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Tears in the coffee cup

My hope is growing thin
But I don't think it matters
My heart has been broken
Before
I need to get up
The coffee is getting cold
My tears keep falling in
The cup
The morning is rising
The sun is breaking the horizon
I can't stay awake
Any more
Waiting for you to come on home
I don't know where you've been
I don't care where you go
I just can't take it any longer
Watching you walk out that door
I'll be here when you come back
But my heart left a while ago
Soon the rest of me will follow
I know you don't care
But I did
I won't go on alone
Drinking coffee and crying
Sleeping and waking up
On the kitchen floor

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Pyramids Of Another World

Deimos sits beneath Mars' gaze
Standing silent
Watching
Because the Gods are eternal
And transcendent in power
Because they are beyond the minds of men
Because they are outside of time
Having no use for seconds, minutes or hours
They are able to reach across space
With but a glance
And seed their children
Across the universe
Stars will fall
Galaxies chase
Oblivion's game
But the Gods

Addict

Although I never
I know the addiction
I never tried the lot of them
Not one entered my mouth
Or entered my veins
Drugs of any sort illegal
Not even to assuage the pain
The moment after I kissed her lips
Beyond the lingered in embrace
I began to twist
Like an addict in withdrawal
The moment I saw her face
My body screamed for more
In abject need
Like some unwritten law
That says when you meet
You must engage
And you never can
You never will again
I twist
Like some heroin user's rage
Like an alcoholic's return
To the beast that bore him
An addiction you cannot tame
I twist
Every time I hear her name
I twist
I twist


Where my Heart Lays

Where my heart lays
In the lap of the one
I love
Is beyond compare
For I have begun
To be
To know
I have only this
The present and now
I have only her
My lover and soul
I long to breathe the air
That has rested in her lungs
I long to be the man
Who is the one she loves
I long to stand
Next to her
Forever
She is my dream
My desire
To be with her
Together
When time never ends
When the sky turns infinite
In beauty

I miss you but I missed you

If I could live without feeling that again
I'd be happy
I never got to hold you
To kiss you
But I know
How good it would feel
You said you loved me
I said I can't go
I miss you
But I missed you then
My life is too real
To give in to fantasy
There is only today
Maybe tomorrow
No back when
When you loved me
Because those days are gone
I miss you
But the time is done
When I could say yes
To dreams over a horizon
So now I sit
With my thoughts
Taking sips of my liquid killer of the pain
Overwrought
Thinking about tomorrow
Since it is all I have
Today

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Sorrow is a bloody souvenir

Sorrow is a bloody souvenir
A memory of loss
Grieving and bleeding
Without relent
Raining down tears
Over that which cannot change
We hold onto that memory
The regret that lingers
You cannot forget
Nothing can satiate that thirst
For redemption
The echoes of the emotions
That go on
Sorrow steals our hope
And drowns our ego
Step into the pool
Wash your sins away
We can never know
The ways of life
All we can do
Is swim
And try not to drown

Monday, June 18, 2012

Scimitar Moon

























He waits for the chance to prove himself
But those who he serves hope
That he does not have to do that
A warrior's burden is
Honor and boredom
To remain taut with agility and strength
Despite the weariness of duty
The inactivity making you fat
He serves in truth
Hoping to prove himself worthy
To be, for just one moment
The one the master deems good
Faithful and unshaken
That one chance to be
More than his entire life has made him
He waits for that time but
The urgency of the boredom
Reminds him
That his role is one
Without reward
Outside of knowing
By his presence
He won't need to be the one
Deemed worthy

Friday, June 15, 2012

Son of Death



To live is to be willing to die
At any time
To truly live is to live upon that edge
Between living and dying
And having no attachments
To either side
To be a samurai
One must serve
And be willing
To give his final breath
To offer his life
Without question
To his lord
For any reason
Unto his death
For no other purpose
Than his request

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Your voice


















Hi,
I heard the message that you left on my machine
For a moment I thought is this a dream
So divine, it made me feel drunk and giddy
So sublime, it made me wish I was asleep
But you know
Since you left I've been in a daze
In your absence, I've been shattered
As if glass from a window broken
Falling from a 71st floor window
Falling
Down
In Death's embrace
Your voice reminded me
That my life was good once
Like some child's happy song
But now I am shattered
Across the ground
My hopes scattered
Gone
So gone
So long my love
I miss you
Gone
So gone
Goodbye

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Crimson Waves

Beneath the waves
Of crimson flow
My heart is carried
Broken in two
From the wages of love
From the cost of hope
The wounds are smooth
The chest smokes
From the burning of pain
From the rejection inside
When you turned me away
My heart simply died

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Questions

Like the clowns at a circus
Making us laugh and cry
The questions entertain us
Make us wonder why
But to ask a question
I wonder the purpose
Or the answer is thrown
Like dust to the wind
We do nothing
While we watch
The world is a carcass
Vivisected into pieces
Waiting to be examined
For some God written thesis
Why are we here
Why do we live
Why do we die
The logic is specious
But worse is this idea
That we can ever know
That the world can ever show
A reason to exist
Beyond the absurd
Splatters of paint and smoke
Ideas and words
Laughed at by the crows
We can't figure it out
In the meantime we are watched
By the ravens and the crows
They laugh at us
Just birds 
Because they go on
Like we should
Because we don't know




Why

Monday, June 11, 2012

What Would There Be

Staring at the moon
Contemplating again
I wonder inside
Beyond the magnificence of the stars
And wonders of  this world
About you
I wonder without the rains coming down
Without the sun coming up
Without the winds blowing hard
Without your love
There'd be a world of emptiness
There'd be a world of sorrow
There'd be no one to love me
There'd be empty tomorrows
And that is too painful to imagine
So I stare at the sky above again
Not thinking about the world that might have been
And gently remind myself
That you inhabit my deepest soul
You fill me to the core
That you do love me
That you are in my heart
That you hold me now
And ever more

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Without, Within Burns

Rain and winds
The gathering storm
Screaming
Inside
Let me out of this cage
Wrapped in flesh
The fire has raged
Still burning
Consumes my core
The rain is tears
That flow
Down
Whispering ashes to ashes
Sorrow to sorrows
Hope is gone
Love longed for
The dream is lost
Plagues of sadness
Reveal the cost
Darkness ascends
Joy departs
Grieving alone
Broken heart
I used to be a man
But now I am regret
An emotion bound in pain
I can never forget

Frozen in Place



Ancient it stands above the horizon
Beyond approach of time
So cold, and yet
So perfect
The spire rises above the mountains
Surrounding it
The beauty of it is sublime
Constructed of ice by the Elvish races
To commemorate their stand
Against the men races and orcs
Who invaded and killed at will
Atop the frozen planet
The spire stands so still
The winds chastise and destroy
Any living thing
But the spire rises and stands
While the winds howl and sing

Friday, June 8, 2012

Oasis


















You are an oasis in a desert
And when there
You quench my deepest thirst
My imra'a, it is you
Princess of my world
Because of you I am free
For to live in the world without love
Is as if you must swim in the Rub' al Khali
Empty
Without hope
You are lost before you’ve begun
But because of your unsubtle compassion
The depths of a lover’s soul
I swim in the deep
You are more than my longing
You fill me to more than full
With every promise that you keep
You erase life’s miserable toll
I should rather die
Alone and unloved
Than to ever hurt you
Because in truth
You make me whole

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Human Flaws


Destroy, consume and reveal
I cannot conceal
How my life has transformed
From death to life reborn
Watching the smoke rise 
Black and thick into the sky
No bitterness is left
No time to rest
I never knew to fail
I lifted the veil
There is nothing inside
To make me decide
That my life is worthless
I will not acquiesce
To the shame
Of my humanity


Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Under Safe Skies

In late summer
The fields of grass are tall
The days are warm
Quiet before the harvest
I was laying there
Staring up
Under the safe skies
Remembered when she held me
I slept upon her bosom
So safe in that place
As if I were fetus
Sleeping in my mother's womb
The winds were gentle
The sun was bright
The embrace was firm
Nothing existed but each other
And she held me in my dreams
Kept out the thoughts of life
That smother me
She left long ago
And breathing is still hard
From missing her
My heart still lingers there
In the tall grass
Though I am scarred
I long to return
To where safe
And she held me
Where the days are warm
And my dreams are fair

One Lance, One Body

Better that I die
That the teeth or
The talons of steel
Should slay me
Than I allow any harm
To the people I defend
I am called to arms
My lance
My body
My bones
My flesh and steel
Are owned by my lord
For his purpose
I am fulfilled
To slay the wyrms
To hunt the dragons
To kill or
That I should be killed


Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Grinding Gears

We exist now
But we are becoming obsolete
Are we naive to think that we are more than
gears, sprockets, cogs of a mighty machine?
We can be bred in a test tube
All of our parts can be harvested
Sold to others or replaced at will
The moment our DNA is coded
We will not even have to have lived
We can be made from scratch
In a laboratory
And avoid the pain of birth
Avoid the hand of God
As humans become the master

Monday, June 4, 2012

She is there, And she is perfect

Though the world might revel
In horrible things
As the hearts of men grow cold
To morals and principals of good
She is perfect
When I see her
My heart is light
My soul sings
She warms my soul
When I see her there
If I could speak to her
My heart would shout
For she is beauty
Nude to the world
Her soul unclothed
Uncovered to all
But still with demure
The globe would stop
From turning
Should she sigh
Her beauty is great
Her being is gentle
Her soul brings comfort
Her form is exquisite
I will always be moved
Even should I become cold inside,
Because of her
For who and what she is
The very Gods would cry
Should she be saddened

Her Eyes Told Stories

I served in the Emir's guard
Assigned to the ha'rem
Because I was worthy
I refused to partake
In the temptations there
There was one who moved me
Her eyes told stories about her past
I was honor bound to protect her
It wasn't about glory
I wanted to be the last one to ever harm her
Life has consequences
Wealth and beauty make life easier
In some respects
But in the path to heaven it doesn't matter
Whatever you do for someone in kindness
Is worth it regardless of the return
I was sworn to be her guardian
Over time I grew to care deeply for her
Because I saw her  as a woman of great quality
The others in the Emir's company
Were like scorpions
Backstabbing and betraying
She was above that
Her beauty was immense, yes
But her greatest trait was her spirit
And kindness

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Reveal


Wear the Raven mask
To see reality in focus
Instead of the false imagery
Instead of the dreams
We seek
The skies are turned red
The world faces plague
The end beckons
We avert our gaze
We turn our head
To wear the Raven mask
We are forced
To see existence fully
The vision so clear
The ways of men
Must change
The path to truth
So narrow
So few follow
Even less see
The Raven mask reveals
A world in love
With pleasure
With its gluttony
With its consumption
With its excess
When existence is more
So much more
We close this chapter
As pleasure whores
In shame

Victory

Deep into February
Forbidding and gray
Nonetheless
We can see the sun
In winter
Frozen, staid
Foreboding
Bursting in our chest
Our breath proves
The spark remains
In the silence
Walking upon the snows
Chilled inside
To the bones
The feelings reveal
We exist
Despite the cold
And in that life
There is victory

Saturday, June 2, 2012

You fill me up

When I thirst
You fill my cup to overflowing
When I pray
You fulfill my heart
Until it is singing
When I sleep
In my dreams
You will be there
For you fill me up
With your redeeming love
You are the lover of my soul
Your voice called me
From the endless pain
And you filled my heart full