Welcome


I am a poet who has both been published and self published. All work on this blog is all copyright Alex Ness. While I make very little money from my work I am technically a professional. Measuring by the hours I've written I am professional. My goal is to share my work with as many people that can read it, as far as the internet may reach with it. I hope if you are moved you will share this blog with others, and perhaps buy my books.

Whatever the result, thank you for viewing this blog. I cannot express how greatly I appreciate the many people, from many places upon the earth, who have visited.

I bid you peace.

Je ne regrette pas la douleur, car il m'a fait plus forte

copyright notice

copyright notice

Monday, April 30, 2012

Leave it behind you

I don't pretend to know the answers
Fate is a capricious master
I know that the questions are hard to consider
When the result burns you no matter
Your tears could fill an ocean
But the tears aren't wasted
When you look around you
There are good things to taste
Focus upon the good things
Recognize the bad
And leave the darkness behind you
Consider it lessons in life that you've had

Awakening Robot

She awakens from her sleep
Where her mind never dreams
Her sleep is of a fashion
Quite different from the flesh men
She has become aware of her power
While realizing she was made
Her mind cannot conceive
Of the why
For she has come into being
Without a childhood or memory
She is a walking, thinking creature
Made of wire and steel

They Never Stop

They march inexorably
Never stopping to breathe
They are immune to fear
The goal is within reach
They seek oblivion’s crown
Its majesty thrown down
No hope is in sight
No rescue is near
The leech of their grasp
Consumes
The marchers are unstoppable
They never quit 
Their purpose is clear
They are programmed to destroy
To consume all before them
And someday
We will realize
That we are less powerful
Than they are
For they have an agenda
That never changes
And a desire
That never fades

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Broken Finger

There is a broken finger
Wear the ring used to be
Frozen emotions echo
Anger lingers
From when the ring was returned
When you learned
That you aren't going to get your way
With my heart
Ever again

Ascent?

The path to progress
Can be direct
Without pause
For reflection
But the same steps
Leading upward
Can be taken
Going down

New Life, Same Curse

Far into the future
After a great search
In a new sector of the galaxy
We will find new life
After humanity spread
From our planet Earth
To new space
We will find a planet
Nearly entirely ocean
With a moon the size of our own
Radiant with light
We will delight in its beauty
We will declare the water planet
To be our new home
Our place of rebirth
We will discover new plants
And marine life
Richly spread throughout
And we will kill it
Killing the life
Polluting the water
We learn no lessons
From our self betraying
Catastrophes
Thus spreading the curse
Of our being

Saturday, April 28, 2012

The F'king Heart

No matter how bright you are
There is a beast within
And you know its true
No matter what you do
The heart betrays the mind
Giving hope where there isn't any
Giving hurt that burns
No matter how you try
You can't forget
You can't unlearn things
You can't do anything but regret
Long after the desire died
After the love is lost
No touch
No kiss
Is worth what it cost
From one who doesn't love

Only If

















 I desire to exist
Only if my mind is free
I dream of nothingness
I see streams of thoughts
Running empty
There is no sleep
Worth having
If life is a cage
Why bother living
If all that remains
Are capriciously kept
Secrets
I refuse to remember
Enough to contribute
To the conversation
Because I refuse this version
Of the Truth

For The Wounds Inside





















You heal me
My flesh may bleed
My bones will break
The armor can stand
Only so much damage
But you heal my pain
Inside
From the epic wounds
That steal my joy away
Your beauty is within
So gorgeous your soul
I love you
My sweet one
Your voice settles the din
Your eyes constantly shine
I am yours forever
Til the end of time
Everlastingly
Yours
You are the star
In the night
That is the brightest
And your light
Illuminates my darkness

Friday, April 27, 2012

This Human Collective

Bury me deep
The day is here
The past is gone
Long gone
We are undone
This day’s decay
Will be the cause
Of tomorrow’s sorrow
The wages of which
Will be the rage
That is poured out upon
The children of our winter
For whom there is no future
Unless this generation is offered up
As a sacrifice, our perdition
We step forward into the darkness
Where we are blind to the path
Surrounded in an abscess
The sins of our own wrath
Poured out upon us
Bleeding black
Toxicity
Our legacy
So failed
Humanity falls
We are the disease
We are the infection
Our decisions
Our own dissections
Sealed out fate

REACH INSIDE ME

Reach inside my cavity
Pull outside my viscera
Remove all that once was pink
Putrification is beginning
It is all turning gray
Blood splatters
Flesh torn
All the organs begin to stink
My body is pulled apart
Even my hair is shorn
And my entrails shrink
Take what you need
I don't need it now
I am far far away
Take my blood
Take my skin
Take my bones
And organs
I am someplace
Without pain
I am someplace
Without decay

AGAIN AND AGAIN



The burning fields
The circling crows
The chattering ravens
The screaming children
The enemy has broken through
Again
They have destroyed a village
Again
The dead and dying will be mourned
Again and again and again
How the world encompasses
The loving and the hate
All there is for me
Is the acrid smell of death
That remains
I do not long to be famed
I do not long for perfumed silks
And gold
I long for the peace
So my quest might end
In the name of my King

NUDE BUT NOT NAIVE

My head is bare
I look up at the sun
My eyes squint hard
Against the glare
Holding my helmet
In my arms
Alone I am
In the wasteland
Of humanity
Without my sword
Without my armor
Nude to those
Who would chastise me
For being weak
For being soft
For crying aloud
But I am not afraid
Nor am I ashamed
Though my flaws are many
I am wounded
And I bleed
I am not worried
The journey is long
The way is narrow
My heart is ready
To be broken
But I have a purpose
A quest to be fulfilled
I am ready
To die
For my King

THE LONELY QUEST

My life’s labor
My passion is to know
To find out why
To do this I am left
Without a guide
Only words
If this journey is meant to end
Where shall I find
Someone to join me
For the road is endless
And my woes are great
Every journey
Should have a companion
So to ease the pain
Of such misery
I am not alone
For the King is my light
But his is far from me
Despite being my soul’s delight
I am made of flesh
Not steel
Not spirit
And my way is long

SLAYERS KNOW

No slayer of dragons
No hunter of the mythic beasts
Can long stand before and not waver
Unless they know something
Is protecting them
Against a vicious bite
Against a dragon’s fire
The armor
The helm
The flesh and bone
And blood
Are nothing
Against a beast so dire
The heart inside
Courage
Faith in the purpose
Are all
That any slayer requires

I DO NOT KNOW

Who am I to suggest
I might know better
Than the architect of all things
Who am I to be the one
To fail my King in the face of reality
I made a vow to be pure
And I am
But I am weak
I long for things
I should not have
And I am filled with desire
Who am I
To long for things that poison me
Who am I indeed to have any say
Over anything
When I am a flea
And the King is a universe

THE CONSEQUENCE OF DUTY
















Upon the wall a watchman watches
For the coming horde from distant lands
He is ready with his goat’s horn
To sound the signal
So that the defenders can respond
Before the wall is taken
But sleep is so inviting
The smoke from the evening’s dinner fire
So pleasant, and luring
He wants to dream of the women
He wants to dream of the riches
He wants to dream of his greatness
And sleep calls to him
Louder than duty
He never wakes
Soon
The walls are covered
With the enemy
And the city behind them
Dies

DUTY HAS WORN ME, BUT MY KING YOU ARE GREAT

All living things know you
The stars at night know your name
I know you command obedience
From all that exist
All that breathe call you King
I serve you
But I’ve been in battle
My body is tired
Wounded and bleeding
To the point
I don’t know the truth
Anymore
I believe
But
The journey takes so much
The reward so far away
The desire is fleeting
I am still yours
You are my King
My body is yours
To do with
Whatever you need

MY BONES, FLESH, BLOOD AND SOUL ARE HIS

I have nothing to offer, I am simply meat
My body long since dying from birth
I have been a curse to all who know me
I am nothing
But I am worth more to my King than diamonds
For I know him
He has offered me immortality
He has made me a warrior
He has given me new birth
The castle’s walls are tall
The castle’s keep is mighty
And I am safe within his domain
Because he knows me
And I am his

THE PATH IS NARROW

















The path is narrow
And I am exhausted
Cannot breathe
The suffocation of hope
Breathing so shallow
Brings me closer to the edge
Get me a rope, get me a sword
Cut a vein with a razor
I am hollow
I am broken
I am bleeding
My mind is a traitor
Screaming at me
Breaking
Dear God why
Why am I here
Suffering
Why is everyone
Suffering
What is the point
What is the reason
Why is everything
Leading to my final place
Where I see so perfectly
I worry that
There is nothing
There never was
God I know you exist
So why do you let us linger
In sad regret, pain unrelenting
Why do we suffer
If you are good
Why do we die
I don’t know
It is so absurd
Without meaning
That I can see

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Dying from the rot within

I look out and see the loss
So many live in oblivion
The world we had is gone
We are dying
Dying from the rot within
It isn't a matter of belief
It is a matter of entropy
Having its way
The angel of death is singing
The skies are growing gray
This world is dying
I do not long to see the fate

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Mist from the Throat of the Dragon

Like the spine of many dragons
Laying
The mountains reach across the land
The mist rising is the breath
The cloud swirl is smoke of the damned
Having been burnt by the fire
Spewed from the maw
Of the greatest beasts
With a fiery blast
They are there sleeping
Peaceful at last
Do not awaken them
or they will devour
The entire of the world
In the end
Casting out only the bones
From their the final repast

(Photo James Blair, NGS copyright holder)

The Dead Lands

The terrain before me broke
Like a wasteland without hope
No water for thirst
No food for my hunger
And no cover from the desert sun
The air was so dry it caused me to pant
No rain or thunder upon the horizon
Just to survive I had to pray
For the end of the killer day


Monday, April 23, 2012

Upon An Iron Throne The Emperor Sits



Not for comfort
But for power
He sits before the assembled
And displays that his
Is the hand
That rules
Not for their pleasure
But for his throne
He rules with exquisite grip
Fearlessly
Should he pale at a command
Should he trip
Upon his ascent
Someone may betray him
So for now
At least
He is seated
In a throne of iron
Where he can survey the ruled
And know he is safe
From hidden daggers
And agendas

Freedom



The tomb of Democracy
Will be the desire
To equate freedom
With equality
Freedom to think
Freedom to choose
Freedom to exist
Without interference
Are the wellspring
Of Democracy
Bought and paid for
With the blood of the Greeks
Fighting at Thermopylae
At Salamis
And finally Plataea
Equality comes from respect
Which is earned
Not by decree

When is it too late?




Do we need to destroy our world
To understand that we are lost
Building arms for peace
But preparing for war
Makes us all destitute
The harvest is without fruit
Are we the children of Ares
Are we lost to our blood lust
The reality of war is destruction
The reality of life is death
When we abandon peace
As the highest goal
When all we do is fear
Instead of trust

ISAIAH 2:4
New International Version
"He will judge between the nations and will settle disputes for many peoples. They will beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks. Nation will not take up sword against nation, nor will they train for war anymore."

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Rage Betrays Him


He wanted to know
In his search for truth
Amongst the wars of Chaos
Epic battles with Order
He led an invasion to retake his city
To unthrone his cousin
To defeat the kingdom that he lost
In his rage he destroyed
The only thing that mattered
His beautiful Cymoril
Who loved him
The rage consumed him
The Black blade surged
And in a moment of rush
The only reason to live was shattered
The albino emperor
Was now without hope
And sat upon an empty throne
With his city burning around him

Saturday, April 21, 2012

How many?

How many broken hearts
Can you have
Before you throw it all away
Because you can't love again
It is too filled with pain
You can't hope again
It seems foolish
And hurtful
No one is to blame
But me for letting it happen
Each time
I am the fool
I am the loser of the game

Anew

Who knows what this life holds
Who knows where time flows
I cannot reenter my mother's womb
But I can try to make room
For changes
Changes
What is hope
What is life
But changes
Going forward
Changing paths
So that we continue
Forward
Birthing new
So that I always rise
Always

Red Castle Sunset

Alone, lost, in the lowlands
An abandoned castle meets
The approaching night
Red skies from the sun's fire
How many evenings has it seen
How many lives has it held
Safely behind walls so thick
Cold in winter, Cool in summer
The moors chill the evening air
The mist is rising
The grass is slick
Abandoned castle is a silhouette in red
It has seen a world change around it
Seen wars and battles surround it
Now it watches seasons pass
Instead

Primal, Pristine and Deadly




I sometimes think that cancer
AIDS, Diabetes, and Snakes
Are nature's answer
To humanity
We pollute
We decay
We corrupt
Nature remains

One Finger


A confession is not in order
There is no need for discretion
Asked if I'd like to do something
With a person who is beautiful and asking
I reply that isn't the question
I wear a band upon my finger
That does not require
Definitions
I want many things
I have fervent desire
But upon my heart is written
Vows I took, written with fire

Friday, April 20, 2012

I'd give up, if I could

She said I should stop loving her
Like it is that easy
It isn't for me
It makes me suffer
To see another make her smile
She said I am not the answer
To any question she might have had
I am not the one
Who can tell her anything now
I know
Its a disaster
For my heart
Its a catastrophe for my soul
She says I should stop
And it is killing me
It is in complete control
But I love her
I can't turn it off and on
Like a switch
I can't unlearn my lines
Like an actor after a role ends
It is killing me
And nothing can console

Watching us



For the thoughtcrime
You have committed
By order of the Ministry of Truth
You are now an unperson
Due to your mind
You have acted against
The collective of humanity
And we have the proof
You are ordered to attend a joycamp
To adjust your thought
To rectify your actions
To make you trustworthy
And returned to society when
Your attitude is renewed

My heart has bled

Still now
For years since you left
I've been bleeding inside
A thorn is there
My tears bleed out
My heart cries
I keep your memories in my chest
For I was alive with you
And am dead with you away
I know you are gone
But I long to hear you say
I love you still
But you are gone
I've been undone
Fallen down
If sorrow was a person
I'd be forced to bow
For he is the king
Of my life now

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Golden Fields

For my work
Bringing in the harvest
In the fields of the Praetor
I was paid handsomely
With a basket of food
The bounty of nature
The gift of our creator
So good
Fed upon this my flesh grows
But my mind is different
I hunger for knowledge
I cannot learn from books
Or listening to the senate's speaker
Rather that comes from knowing
The architect of all things
Sustaining me
In flesh and mind
And my spiritual being
So that I might serve Rome
In arms
And labor

Fair Josette, I join you now



I have walked Collinwood
I have dreamed of your face
I remember your lips
Here in the asylum
I wait
Upon the end of my rope
I twist
Fair Josette, I long for you
Your beauty
Your kiss
Fair Josette
It is you I miss

Rightly Worshipped




Wherever they are
Is my home
They are my beloveds
Without them I would be alone
Amongst my kind, in a crowd
They are kin of my heart
In the miasma of life I would drown
Without their company
They are my friends
My companions
When I sleep in their arms
I am covered in a shroud
Of their love

(For my Mischa, Simone, Katya, Sophia, Natasha, and Anton)

Anubis will greet me



When my body has expired I will then make a journey
Unlike any I've taken in life
This one is beyond all fret and worry
To the realm of Anubis
The judge of dead
All my strife and pain
All my gifts and treasures
Will I be measured as having been good
Or will I have lived for pleasure
Anubis is breathtakingly fair
For his scale is not used with bias
The judgment comes from our own life
He is there only to sort the truth
For my sins will weigh my being
My lust for things will curse my eyes
For my flesh is weak
And my flaws I will despise

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Stranded


Stranded in space
My flesh begins to atrophy
Dying but cannot die
Crying but cannot cry
Screaming at me
Staring at the scene
Left after the disaster
The catastrophe
You
Yelled your insults at me
With Ribsplitter and scream
Took my heart out of the cavity
Ripped apart with a surgeon’s knife
Still bleeding held to the sky
Destroyed me with deepest love
Deepest depravity
How you knew just where to cut
I don’t know
But your words defied gravity
Entered my orbit
Emptied my world
Left me to die
In totality

Like I never existed

My name is words
Just words on paper
Words
Erase my name from the data base
Wipe your heart clean from the curse
Of ever knowing the truth
Place the blame upon me
Decide I wasn't ever worth
The time it took to say
You loved me
You needed me
You wanted me
To be someone in your life
For better or worse
I'm still here
Whether you like it
Or not

You don't change the past
By changing your views
Of how it happened

Truth Eternal

The path I walk is my own
The borderlands between faith and reason
Are not delineated by intellect or emotion
But rather by experience, vision, and hope

When I see mountains, and forests
I see the hand print of God
When I heard my son giggle in his sleep
When he was an infant, I heard angels singing

But others don't
And whatever path they roam
I hope they find something just as deep
As the depths of truth I seek
I do not judge another for his lack of belief
I have not seen what his eyes have seen
I have not walked where he has walked
I can pray that his journey ends well

It is mine, and I do with it what I please




Someone might wish to own it
Or to throw it out
But they cannot
They might wish to crush it
Or cast me in eternal doubt
About who it loves
But they cannot
Because I can love who I wish
It is mine
I do with it what I please
And I chose to love you
I do not love because you love me
I do not love because of what I can receive
By loving
I love because it is right
I am not asleep, this is not a dream
Whatever the cost
I believe
That loving you is worth
Anything

I pant for thee

My heart longs for you
My soul will pant for thee
You are shade for me
In the hottest summer day
Your love is an enormous stretch of shade
In a world without trees
You are peace for my being
You are beauty within my reach
A cold stream to soothe my flesh
From the consequences of living
Your love is a wellspring
Abundant
Sweet
Refreshing of my being
You restore my vigor
My youth
My hope
Forgiving of all my flaws
And you are my first love
My heart is moved
By your bountiful mercy
When I hear my name
Being called
By your voice
Even if it is a whisper

Monday, April 16, 2012

War without Mercy


Locked in battle, ideological foes
They could not see beyond themselves
One side made of hardened steel
The other side of iron
And the third covered in snow
They would contest the lands
Between their armies
Within their hands


Despite the obstacles between them
Bogs and marshes, rivers vast and dangerous
Winters from the coldest levels of hell
And the enemy from here to the horizen

One side promised victory
The other side said
Not a step back
Both sides endured misery

The Gray war machine versus the Soviet Red
The dead were envied by the dying
The machines and weapons used were destroyed
All the hopes and patriotic views fled

The war of two juggernauts
The clash of leviathan
Who truly won?
Both were consumed
In the hatred of each other
Lost in the haze
Of the new wars to be begun

Depression is a disease


So why don't you see comments saying how the US has a huge outbreak of sorrow, and grief?
Why don't you see comments saying we have to fight depression? We try to control it? Right.
Bunch of stuff I don't believe.

mirror shattered



Who I am
In reflection
Is a ridiculous failure
What I am
In reality
Is a broken flesh creature
Why I am
In retrospect
Is an accident of culture
For I should not even exist
I should not even be here
There is no purpose in this
There are nothing but tears

The Truth is:



I have only one thing worth keeping
I guard it like I have nothing else that matters
While I was unaware
She came and took it
I let her do it
Because I believed her when she said
She cared
And of course she didn't
She trifled with my heart and threw it back
I only have myself to blame
Because I am stupid
And I'd let her back in again

Sunday, April 15, 2012

To Suffer is to Live

The future is not a promise, it is a destination
There are no guarantees of success
No equation of victory from determination
We are here, we exist
We suffer
Living is bound with many things
To suffer is certain
So I resist the urge to quit
Because the suffering is not going to stop
Nor change by the rage of anguish
It exists, and so do I
So I am going to endure
Because that is all I have that I can use
To persist




"What is the noble truth of suffering? Birth is suffering, aging is suffering and sorrow and lamentation, pain, grief and despair are suffering." Buddha

“Have compassion for all beings, rich and poor alike; each has their suffering. Some suffer too much, others too little.” Buddha

Saturday, April 14, 2012

las caminatas del escorpiĆ³n



Across the desert sands
The killer is about to strike
The world before him demands
The lives of those in askance
A cruel unforgiving land
The scorpion walks
Taking no chances
Walking atop the dunes
Death is about to dance
With those about to pass

THE HAUNTING OF A CONTINENT

Rumors swirl about the origins
Denial strikes those supposed to lead
Fear manifests those who suffer
Babies born with disease and abandonment
What can be done for the lost
Who can save the generations
What is the final message received
What was the message sent
Feed my sheep
Love thy neighbor
Before the disease smothers
Do something
Anything to help
Or are we so deceived and bent
That we cannot see ourselves
In the destruction of another





INFORM YOURSELF

I think of you




Without a speck of regret
I think of your face
Your being
I caught your scent and remembered
Because there is no one like you
I surrendered
You were my summer
My moment of joy
My first lover
My time of growth
You were a blanket in winter
That made me warm under your cover
You were the season
The very reason
My heart pines for no other
I love you
Like no one else
I need you
You are my quest
My time of healing
My soul's succor
My soul's delight
I believed because of you
And still do
In a famine you were a supper
In darkness you gave me light
In sorrow you gave me joy
I am grateful to you
For all these things
And more

Friday, April 13, 2012

Frozen Blue

In the Atlantean depths
A society lives
Ancient and lost
Far from the surface
Far from modernity
Immune to cold
Invulnerable to frost
The depths turned their flesh blue
Citadels of glass
Spires of salt
Windows of ice
The distant world
So hidden from view
The people beneath
Follow the current swirls
Gliding at ease
The depths of water
Nearly black
Hide them from prying eyes
While they live their existence
Ancient and beautiful

Thursday, April 12, 2012

The Undertaker's Death

Dying of fright
The digger of graves
Is taken himself
By a darkly dressed being
An angel of night
The winter of life over
The visions of horror seen
The portal to a new existence
The last image captured
Fear captured in a silent scream



Carlos Scwhabe La mort du fossoyeur

Masks


Not for disguise rather for safety
We despise the future
That we made
The oblivion we create
A force majeure
Nature retaliates
Humans desecrate
The land we've been given

to dream of things


She thought of the worlds she could visit
If only she could make sleep come
She wanted to go where she could fly
In spirit
Where dreams never ended, only were begun
She was too distracted though
To focus on the nether world
Because the present
Waking one
Is so hard to forget
Even when you are tired
To the point of sle...

It occurs to me to ask


What the hell were they thinking?
What were they smoking?
What were they drinking?
To think mutual destruction was a plan
To think that annihilation was a choice
To destroy all of humankind
Over any dispute?
Over any boundaries of land?
What the hell were they thinking?

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Abyss




For every thought there is a womb holding it, nurturing it
For every wound there is a thought remembering it,
Furthering it
Going further insane
We are prone to decay
To betray our better instincts
By slipping into an abscess of infection
An abyss without affection
A mirror without reflection
We remember everything

"In every word, there is an abyss of space, every word is limitless." Gogol

"There are people who exist in this world not like entities but like the speckles or spots on something. " Gogol

Wild and beautiful

Let no one mistake nature as gentle and kind
But also, know, then, it is as beautiful as it is wild
Every tree has grown watching
The struggle to survive
Where the great hunt is meant to cull the weak
To test the will to be alive
No, nature is not cuddly and warm
It is a system of kill or be killed
Grow greater at the expense of another
But nature is honest about it
Unlike humans

In the pit Tartarus



Beneath Hades realms
It lays
Deeply within the cosmic chaos
Even Orcus and Pluto avoid it
For the realm of Tartarus is beyond them
Human sinners sent to be punished fear their fate
And the titans and gods among them too
Know the place
Is beyond their ability to perceive
How loathsome and fearful it will be
Rising hands from the lava
Ringing voices screaming in pain
None can understand the mastery
The devotion to punishment
Of Tartarus' reign

Monday, April 9, 2012

This Island

We might be unique
We might be alone
We live amongst an ocean of stars
Living upon our island
Blue and beautiful
Scarred by our hand
We have one chance
We have one world
To make it last
Or exhaust it
A blue planet
With a star covered horizon
This is all there is
Just the one
We can live
Or enter oblivion





Yuri Gagarin



"What beauty. I saw clouds and their light shadows on the distant dear earth.... The water looked like darkish, slightly gleaming spots.... When I watched the horizon, I saw the abrupt, contrasting transition from the earth's light-colored surface to the absolutely black sky. I enjoyed the rich color spectrum of the earth. It is surrounded by a light blue aureole that gradually darkens, becoming turquoise, dark blue, violet, and finally coal black."

So cold


Being washed away in the rain of a cold April day
Standing exposed to the weather outside
While my heart contemplates suicide
But I won't
Hell I already tried
It scares me
But the truth is
There is nothing left inside

Vodka and cigarettes

There wasn't anything I could tell her
She'd already heard it all before
Her heart was broken and scattered
Bits and pieces of her were on the floor
She had trails of mascara down her cheeks
She cried so much over him
But she didn't love him like she thought
She loved her vodka much more


She smoked cigarette after cigarette
Saying she'd quit tomorrow
But her heart was already crushed
Like every cigarette in that ashtray
She was utterly filled of sorrow



She loved her vodka and cigarettes
But they were just fillers for her soul
She'd lost her chance to be normal
And let small things take control
She was beautiful
Yet tragic
Sad yet defiant
Thoughtless but brilliant
Frightened but bold
Her eyes were fire
But her heart was cold
She could make men hot with desire
But she was broken inside
Love had taken its toll

Terminus Determination

My mother was raped on New Year's Eve
My path was determined very early
The year 1963 meant that I'd be born
Instead of cast out
But there are more ways than the obvious
Through the sorrow of the moment
In which I was conceived
I was still a cast out emotionally
There would be
No decisions on how to be a being
No reminders of how it could be
Somewhere else
Life is all there was
I was exposed to the elements
And I couldn't choose not to be
All there was was me
One heartbeat reminded me
That I was meant to exist
But this life without hope
Has to cease
Terminus determination
Complex choices
I resist the attempts
At the starvation of emotions
The retaliation
Of the notion that
I should or could be loved
There is no guarantee
That I will find them
But it doesn't mean
I shouldn't try

Alone Here

We welcome change
Invite difference
Just to break the boredom
Of being alone
We wonder aloud
In the silence
Of the world we have
Where is everyone
Who might look like us
What stars offer hope
To break the ennui
What changes must come
To bring the cycle to some conclusion
We listen intently
Waiting and hoping
To find ourselves
No longer alone
But we have no ability
To do more than listen
So all we have
Is hope

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Boom!



Two ancient peoples
Two different destinies
Nuclear ambitions
And fear and lies
No reason to trust
No desire to die
Fatal decisions
Lead to mutual suicide

The Sound of Victory


We waited
And he returned
In victory
Having freed the slaves
Having rescued the prisoners
Having given his word
That he would be back
The King is back
Crowned anew
The horizon is bright
The land glistens with dew
We see the hope
It has been given
We see the victory
And hear the trumpets
Blown in triumph
Our hearts are free
For the King is with us
We dance in celebration
We are forgiven
We are redeemed

Khafren is Great

Child of Horus
The avenging son
Of Osirus
Beloved of Hathor
Lived in an age
Without recorded event
But we know his achievements
By the glory of his tomb
Found in Giza



How great he must have been
To achieve such a thing
As to create a memory
In stone
For our known history

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Which is it?




Do we see it and not believe it
Or, do we see it and we don't care
The question is very important
Because we have no excuses to say
We never knew about this
We can't believe how bad it really is
The world has had war
We've counted the losses
We've sung songs of mourning
We've honored the dead
But we still go to war
No matter how exquisite the pain is
We continue
We just get better at it
And the photos of the results don't shock us
We must not care
To continue in this spirit

Beneath the Dust

Waves of dust
From the earth that was opened
By plows and man
For farming
The land would not be tamed

Lives were changed
When the earth reclaimed
The wind and water
For itself


Lives were tossed
Into the whirlwind
Of life
By the dust that rose
Colored black


And no amount of hope
No amount of prayer
Brought back the days
As they were before
The exodus began
And never stopped

Friday, April 6, 2012

just another day



They say to be thankful for what you got
Because someday it might be gone
What I have now is time
And some sort of peace of mind
That I am not owned
I lost my main source of employment
I lost my wife the same day
Even my dog wanted to be with her
So I went back to the life I'd left
On the Fly, sometimes Padding the hoof
I ain't gonna do any stemming
But I ain't gonna do something to get me jailed
So I do what I can to get by
Trying to stay alive
Avoiding Johnny Law
Don't need to be respectable
I have my California blankets
Still looking though for my own slice
I am good with a shovel
And my shoes are thin soled but
They are still without holes
This life is my proof
That a man has to go his own way
Or bow before another
To earn a wage