Welcome


I am a poet who has both been published and self published. All work on this blog is all copyright Alex Ness. While I make very little money from my work I am technically a professional. Measuring by the hours I've written I am professional. My goal is to share my work with as many people that can read it, as far as the internet may reach with it. I hope if you are moved you will share this blog with others, and perhaps buy my books.

Whatever the result, thank you for viewing this blog. I cannot express how greatly I appreciate the many people, from many places upon the earth, who have visited.

I bid you peace.

Je ne regrette pas la douleur, car il m'a fait plus forte

copyright notice

copyright notice

Monday, January 30, 2012

My Friend Regret


Why do I constantly think about her
Why do I contemplate what if
She was gone before I knew it
We didn't even kiss
How does she linger
Within my heart
All I had was a ghost
Within my hands
I saw a dream
Go through my fingers
Like sand
Passing between
I cannot sleep
I cannot dream
Without her coming to me
Loving me
Embracing me
I cannot forget
I cannot let go
But I've no chance
There's no hope
So why can't I stop
Thinking about her
Why can't it end
The regret is a dance
I can't follow
I struggle with the thought
Of all that might have been
The circumstance
The hidden chance
That escaped me
Chance hates me
My heart will never mend
Until I forget
And that won't happen
Ever
So I'll have to make do
With regret
My only friend

ELBE April 25, 1945

Nearing the war's end
A dramatic tide drew to a close
The world changed in many ways
Due to the Hitler war
Control shifted over land
The fields were filled with the dead
Some lay still above the land
Made stiff by the cold freeze
Political foes were made friends
By the threat of a mutual enemy
The Eagle and the Bear
Both born in revolution
Reached across the Elbe
Jubilation
Linking forces
And quickly thereafter
The end came
For the crooked cross
Annihilation






SOURCE:WIKIPEDIA


"Elbe Day, April 25, 1945, was the date Soviet and American troops met at the River Elbe, near Torgau in Germany, marking an important step toward the end of the World War II in Europe. The first contact was made between patrols near Strehla, when First Lieutenant Albert Kotzebue crossed the River Elbe in a boat with three men of an intelligence and reconnaissance platoon. On the east bank, they met forward elements of a Soviet Guards-rifle-regiment of the First Ukrainian Front under the command of Lieutenant Colonel Alexander Gardiev. The same day, another patrol under Second Lieutenant William Robertson with Frank Huff, James McDonnell and Paul Staub met Soviet Lieutenant Alexander Silvashko with some soldiers on the destroyed Elbe bridge of Torgau."

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Six pointed blue star overhead



They resist
Ideologies wrestle
No finality
Ideas exist
If fiction
If truth
Threats and provocations
With or without proof
Attacks
Information gathered
Decisions made
Response
Immediate
Fear
Retaliation
Cycles renew
War continuation
Oblivion
Anew



Operation Wooden Leg, Tunis, Tunisia
Deir ez-Zor Syria
Osirak Iraq Nuclear Program
Bushehr Nuclear Power Plant
Ain es Saheb airstrike, Syria
Operation Thunderbolt, Entebbe, Uganda

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Midnight Guardian of the Sultan's Caravan



With a thirst impossible to slake
A figure stands still, and watching
In the middle of the night
Right before the caravan is to wake
To travel before the day
With the heat and blinding light
Of the desert sun
A guard stands in the simmering wind storm
In daylight the storm will bring suffering
The sand above the solid ground
Still warm, upon his feet
The dry air and the abrasive sand
Feels like burning sleet upon his face
The heat that blasts makes men tired
Exhausted
Even after sleep
A brief blast of the ram horn
The alarm sounds
The Bedouin have surrounded the camp
And begin to attack
With little warning
Invading the dreams
Of the Sultan's men
And the caravan

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Liars


Poisonous minds
Decaying legacies
Deny the truth
Ignore reality
Question facts
Warp history
Your bitter lies
Your hard hearted views
Burn in hell
For your hatred
Of Jews

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

She was cold, and perfect





Her name was Maria
And she stood there
Staring out in space
For the world given to her
Was beyond her embrace
She was bright and talented
But cold to the touch
With a heart of cold forged steel
She never experienced a taste
Of the world she was born
Of the world her creator made
She was created
For a purpose
Beyond the reach of fate

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

I support an industry of death

I eat meat
I am diseased
The industry of slaughter
Of harvest
Has me
A customer of its killing
The dominion of humans of nature
I am a party to the choice
To be one
Who looks away
At the consequences
Of my hunger

Monday, January 23, 2012

Love is not a game

Love is not a game
Nor can you win
Whatever it is you give
You should not expect return
Love is bound with pain
Fear and sorrow will be within
But whatever the cost
However much your lust may burn
You can find love
You can live again
By living
By loving
By giving
Yourself

Sunday, January 22, 2012

I was Palmyra



When I was young
I saw thousands of cultures pass through
Trading spices and goods
For gold
The Romans were here
Egyptians and Babylonians
Bedouins and Syriacs
Arabs and Persians
Turks and Greeks
All passed through my gates
Every people of every nation
Welcomed with grace
Offerings and feasts
And then the paths turned
The journeys stopped
The visitors left
And I slept
For I am ancient
But I will wake
In a future time
When the world is ready
For oblivion end
For I am Palmyra
And I will return

Saturday, January 21, 2012

A Northern Storm



The dragon ships move like lightning
The sails struck by the wind
Make the sound of thunder
Striking south from Northern lands
Rising upon the horizon
The sails strike fear
Into all who see this
Upon the shores
Waiting for the storm
To hit
The Norse are ready
To harvest their yield
The year passed has allowed
The Saxons to rebuild
The walls erected
A people formerly proud
Now quiver waiting
The Norsemen leave burning fields
Behind their harvest

Just once

She was graceful, lithe
Glorious, shined
She walked by me and smiled
I remember her fragrance

She was beautiful and kind
I could tell as her eyes
Gazed through me
I became filled with song

But like everything else
She disappeared
And just once
She walked by me

Decades later

I can still smell her perfume
I can still feel her smile
I can still see her eyes
I can linger

Because so little in life matters
That one moment
Like this one
Will light my fire

Now and forever

Friday, January 20, 2012

The sorrow of existence



No matter the joys that uplift
There is weight that pulls down
No matter the light that we seek
We scream, without sound
Life is suffering
Life is good
Life is fire
Life is wood
Relentless misery
Inexorable majesty
Life is
Without definition
It is to be

We Created This Hell



Stacked like wood
For burning
The logs for a new fire
When hatred would live
There was no sorrow
No sadness
Just numb
Stacking the wood
In the ovens
The smoke rising
Humanity died
The morality struck dumb
For the final question
Would have an answer
The death of hope
Cancer
The human born hell



Open arms we are welcomed
By oblivion's embrace
We are the pestilence
We are the contagion
We are Azrael
The Angel of Death

Thursday, January 19, 2012

In the Realm where Death Rules




In a place far away
Unable to be visited
In sleep born dreams
Death is master
He reigns
The land is wicked
Rough and dangerous
Beasts hunt there
Without worry for modern weapons
To stop them
Predators hunt the weak
For the next morning
The dead are reborn
To begin the cycle again
Of hunters and hunted
Predators and prey
Death is uninterested
In frank discussions
Doesn't listen to prayers
For there is no escape
And the realm is his
With which to let
His pets play

Painted, Tattooed, Victorious


(The Victorious Pict copyright and art by F. Lennox Campello )

Wild men
Tribe men
Dancing around the fires
Good men
Good lives
Fighting to survive
Following their instincts
Always trying to thrive
Flesh met steel
The Picts were brought to heel
Their ways flickered out
But our memories
Linger on

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Fenced



There is a fence strung around my heart
It tears my flesh when I pray
My spirit reaches out
But pulls back in dismay
Shredded tendons and skin
Blood pouring from the punctures
The fence shakes from the impact
My body wracked from the sins
The journey is now reaching terminus
The foundation weak in structure
The fence is my own making
I've ignored the instructions
To be
Now I am forsaking all
To hold my self in
Without breaking

Lost

So empty and lost
Bleeding black inside
I am lost
All wrong
I can't feel anything
I am hollow
Like dying
Without vision or
My inner voice
I see nothing
I can't hear a sound
Why is God so silent
Is this unholy ground
Without true contrition
Is there forgiveness
I am not broken
But I've been broken down
I am imperfect
This is no easy journey
The path is hard to find
But if I keep on trying
I might avoid the flood
The deluge might be coming
But I am climbing the cliff wall
Perhaps I might just make it
Or maybe
This is the end to it all

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Ten Tears Fall

Ten tears fall
Before I catch them
You never called
After our time
You don't care
How have I been
Am I better now
Or am I still enthralled
By your face
Ten Tears Fall
Every time I hear your name

Resistance of my will

Existence of my flesh
Neither negates nor proves my being
Resistance of my will
Is not offered up to be redeemed
Rather than proof my being is a jail
My soul is eternal
The flesh is the place of my sorrows
Tortured cries of pain
Rain down the tears
Let the ego flow
I am a moment
Let the wine of my blood be drunk
By those who sop their bread
In my ichors
When I am undone
Let them sup upon my torment
My limbs and neck may be severed
I do not desire to be here long
For the flesh is veil
Covering the doorway to forever
And I am tired
And I am done

Monday, January 16, 2012

So Beautiful, Princess

I'd call it a dream
But I wasn't asleep
I saw, with my eyes
My own eyes
So I know my dream was real
But I can't decide,
If I was fortunate
Or cursed
For I'll never see
Someone so beautiful
Again
This being was perfect
So beautiful
Like a Princess
Who rose up
And walked towards me
Up from the waters
And shore's reeds
She was silent
With eyes so clear blue
She was more than I could believe
But there she was
Without words of my own
I just gazed at her form
For she was clearly from another place
Than this one
I was alone
And saw her
And she walked towards me
Embraced me
Touched me
Kissed me
Tears streamed down
For she was my love
Returned to me
And I was home
Wherever she might deign to dwell
I don't know what happened next
Was I asleep, but awake
In heaven turned hell
I don't know
But I do know this
I'll never see another person
So beautiful
So stunningly beautiful
As her

One Finger: 6:01 central time, Memphis, TN, 1968, April 4th



It took just one
One Remington 760 Gamemaster
One finger
One hotel open window
Changed the way
We understood the world
One finger
Perhaps though, many hands
Took away a prophet
Who sought to cleanse the nation
To redeem the struggle
To condemn the hatred
And unify this land

January 15, 1947


We don't know her
We only know about her
She died horribly
Severed, sawed in two
But she was a person
Living a small life
Wishing for great things
But never becoming a wife
Of the war hero
Or movie star
Or anything worth her while
Just a person
Deserving more
Than what happened

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Bones and Hearts




I've had enough pain to last me
Enough life lessons I don't want
I've been broken in heart and bones
And mind
I've had dreams that haunt me
I might heal
But I don't care
The memories last forever

No I Never Did

I never touched her
I never kissed her
I never embraced her
Never even met her
But she loved me
Said she needed me
Said she wanted me
Said she lusted me
Something inside me cried
Because I never did
No I never did
And yet
I wanted it
So bad

Overwhelmed and overcome

I've been overcome
I've been overwhelmed
By memories of you
I've dreamed those dreams
I've died in vain
Over and over
Woken in grass covered in dew
Alone again
Without my friend
The one who makes me renew
I still love you
I still love you
I've been dead since you've gone
I'll never be happy again
This flesh will fetid remain
I decay
I decay
I pass from this place
To one far better
Where I hope when you find me
You will kiss me
Embrace me
Touch my face
Hold me
And tell me you love me
Redeem me

It makes no sense

I know, I know
It makes no sense but
Love is forever
Once I am there
I never leave
People flit about it
As if love is a trampoline
But I never can
Once in my heart
I never let them go
My love is true
Whatever they do

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Steelyard Cemetery

There is a graveyard in Bethlehem Pennsylvania
That holds the bodies of steel workers
And their families
Some never saw the world they lived in
Others worked until their bodies stopped working
Some never left the town they are buried in
The horizon choked in smoke
Was small for them

Fly Dark One



Fly away dark one
Fly to some place safe
This world is about to die
The fires of Armageddon rage
We've slowly and surely committed suicide

Fly away dark one
We've brought this upon ourselves
Feel no guilt
No shame
For we have created our hell
This world is in pain

Leave quickly
Flee
You must survive
There is no need for you
To embrace
Azrael

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Decide, Me Inside

I am still dead
Still deciding
What I believe
I don't regret my life
I don't regret being alive
I don't worry for things
That didn't turn out
To be
The way they should have
Should have been
I could easily be
The one she loved
Instead
It wasn't me
No it wasn't
So this dead body
Remains that way
Far too much of this pain
At the core
But I don't regret it
I can't forget that it wasn't me
She choose another
Not me
And now I am back to dead
Like before
Nothing new
Nothing more

No Requiem for a Dying Man




I cut myself
But I don't bleed
I hung myself
But I could breathe
I shot myself
In the head
But the bullet killed
My family instead
No requiem
For me
For this dying man
I will not be released
From his attention span
I took some pills
But they dissolved
Like the efforts
I resolved
To take
Some day I'll see
What I've done
But until then
It has begun
To fade
No requiem
For a dying man
No salvation
For this crying land
I did my part
Now I am saying goodbye
This is the termination
Notice
This is my last stand

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

no no no

Slamming the door
Like some loud final word
Drowning the sound
Of goodbye
Reticent tears pour out
But I am not crying
I did that before
And you left then too
I never had a doubt
That you'd be gone
So I am just saying
no no no
no no no
Don't think
Don't feel
Just go with it
Just go

The Dust of the Passing Age




We cannot see the mountain from atop
We can only see what is below
The valley of our sorrow
The dust has taken over
From the failures
Of our hand
We walk and are covered
The dust rises
We are smothered
By the debris
Of our acts
The world we created
Falls before inevitable entropy
And the world before our arrival
Returns
And the dust
Covers every single footprint
Of our debacle
Hiding our existence
And beginning anew

The Legacy of Prometheus

Great Prometheus
How kind to give us fire
To light our imaginations alight
To fuel our growing desires
To control the flow
Of energy
To light the night with brightness
To move leviathans in the seas
How kind to give us fire
Prometheus was cursed for this
As were we
For children should not control
The fires of the Gods
For humans are not able
To deny their bestial voice
Unable to hold back in anger
We are inheritors
Of the fires
That burned this earth
That cursed this earth

"Kinship and companionship are terrible things."

“God help thee, old man, thy thoughts have created a creature in thee; and he whose intense thinking thus makes him a Prometheus; a vulture feeds upon that heart for ever; that vulture the very creature he creates.” Herman Melville





Monday, January 9, 2012

Spirit is Asylum from Flesh




Dissection
Decay
Fecund misery
The pain of existence often goes beyond my tolerance
My flesh is weary, it hurts sometimes just to breathe
The cage of this body, calls for my release
Asylum is needed
A sanitarium for the weak
My flesh is broken
Cover my body with a sheet

Sunday, January 8, 2012

You are why

With you
There is hope anew
My heart stopped bleeding
I won't ever stop needing
You
When I sleep I'm not dreaming
Because all I think about is you
Sleep is filled with thoughts
Of holding you forever
I can't breathe without hoping
To draw in your scent
I can't see you without thinking
You are the one who heaven sent
Together
In your presence
I still long for you
In your absence
My heart beats but softer
With you I am redeemed
I love you
You are my reason
You are why
I want to be

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Do what you wish, End it even

Shout my name
Push me
Back me against the wall
Line me up for execution
It is my end you seek
But I heard the call
And that prevents you
From stealing what I have
I believe unto my dying breath
I resist
There is nothing to kill
For my spirit is awake
And I live beyond the flesh
Blow out the candle
The flame still lives
Blow out the flame
The fire still burns
Inside
End my being
I will return
Kill my flesh
My body passes
The dream still lives
The curse broken
I am unafraid
End it
Do it now
For what you think is killing me
Will be my birth

Friday, January 6, 2012

If there is nothing



I am waiting to see if there is nothing
Because my life suggests that this is wrong
Mad irony howls, Cynical fate laughs
At the smoke of my burned remains
Choking my last breath
From drawing in
If I am alone there is no purpose
I know this is insane
But if there is nothing
No one cares, and there is only pain
So why should I worry?
If there is nothing
All I do is dust

Thursday, January 5, 2012

My Heart's Sorrow



The sorrow of my heart
Is not from love
But the loss

The pain of my life
Is not from wounds
But the cost

I reach out
In the twilight
Between Heaven
And Hell
This earthbound flesh
Refuses to learn
What it is
To be forgiven
So I struggle

The dreams of my sleep
Can never match
The will of God

The sins redeemed
Can never reach
My soul at all

For God is waiting
And I seek
And there I will find
The lover of my being
Holding open the doors
Beckoning
Open
Kind

"I want a heart which is split, chamber by chamber, by the pain of separation from God, so that I might explain my longings and desires to it." Rumi

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Beauty most dark



She was beautiful
But dangerous
Her looks would cut
Her voice would bite
She was alluring and yet
I feared her
For she offered me
All I wanted and
All that I might
Her eyes were stunning
Her body perfect
Her perfume made my ardor stir
But she was not my lover
But rather a temptress
Who made me burn
She drank the blood of the fallen
Supped upon the flesh of saints
Attacked the morals of all men
Desired us all to turn


Revelations 17,18

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Not Soup, But Food

A supposed wise man said
Marriage, however good,
is like a great bowl of soup
The best soup ever, even
But do you want this,
the same soup every single day?
Love isn't like that
Rather,
You need to eat
Do you want food
Or hunger pains
Love feeds your heart
Love is like that
Marriage is fulfilling
If it is about love
You get to eat
Every day
And eat your fill

She waits, in vain


However fortunate her lover might be
Should he realize
She is waiting
While he is away upon some mission
Of charity or commerce
He does not see
That she longs to be with him
That her love is for him alone
And she waits
In misery
For he is gone
And she remains
Not knowing when he might return
And while he is frozen inside
For him she burns

Beauty



Not that which is outside
For that is flesh alone
Not inside, for that is entrails
Function but not perfection
But rather it is in her spirit
For there she is alive
With the beauty of creation
Her spirit is woven
By the most precise hands
Her beauty is known
In every land
And I am hers
Without reservation
For she moves me
She does
Her spirit alone

Monday, January 2, 2012

With her

Warmth inside keeping me safe
Soothing to my ear, the beat of her heart
Soft and gentle, to my soul
I am hers, entirely
With her, I am
Without her, I am not
The future may be dark
Sorrow may force me
To feed at its cup
But within her arms
I am content that all will be right
I am whole with her
I am content
And that is enough